The Archers - It's Full Of Pants! Listeners are allegedly leaving in droves. Will Peggy also FOHMC?

[PseudoBadger]

She's got a whole calendar to use!

Didn't something similar happen with the Brookfield herd and George a few months ago? are they recycling story lines?

I was under the impression that you aren't allowed to grow up in the country unless you agree to at least one dangerous encounter with a farm animal

George ran away and ed saved him thus earning George's forgiveness for killing the dog

Have missed several threads, they are moving faster than Jazzer when he has wind of a new lassie. (Or a pint) so marking place on this one. I'm not sure but I thought the distressed voice sounded a bit like Rob. No?

Henry is in the middle of the yard, using his telekinetic powers to whirl the cows round in mid-air. Not sure why Helen is yelling at him, because he is standing absolutely still - he's doing it all with his mind because he is THE SPAWN OF THE DEVIL.

Oh ffs why do we have to have drama everywhere? I couldn't believe it when Tony so readily agreed to babysit when he was so busy. In real life, even with a crazy daughter surely he'd say 'well I'm too busy, do you have a problem with Johnny watching him?', and if not surely he'd feel he'd need to remind johnny to keep Damian well out of the way. Bloody Helen and her bloody bandage.

I thought the CA said 'and tomorrow Ed does the right thing' or something similar. What a bloody nightmare. And I think the schedule says that tomorrow 'Peggy leaves her party early' so it must still be happening, which implies no-one is seriously hurt

Well, that's got you all posting! Thanks for making me laugh with some of the comments above especially BiscuitMillionaire (with your electric muscles presumably) and Araminta.

I'm not sure I was picturing the closing scene right. Obviously, Hell could see Johnny as she was telling him not to move. Was he holding Henry's hand, and she thought it better to address J, or has she not seen where Henry is? Then presumably the herd are in a combined space and in danger of stampeding?

I believe Henry to be the devil because he doesn't talk like a child his age and he creeps me out!!! There's just something not quite right about the way he behaves

And yes I know the more likely answer is that they don't know how to write small kids but I prefer to believe he is actually the devil an the sinkhole is a portal to hell

I thought she addressed Henry. I think the above is correct - Henry ran to her and the cows got spooked and everyone is trying to stop him gettibg trampled

The human bellowing is probably eds heroic effort to turn otto away from the evil one.

And Route B is actually the Highway to Hell.

Indeed

And rob takes on the nanny role from the omen

The Kirsty scream was clearly not human and turns out she was a harpy Henry had sent to infiltrate the family but pure innocent Tom realised it wasn't quite right (ok ok I know I'm pushing it with pure and innocent)

And of course there are all the (stupid) spirit storylines. The next thing will be bleeding walls

And someone has clearly been round and nicked the remaining active brain cells belonging to the dopeys

Perhaps Ed does the right thing by refusing to let Piggoi blame it all on Johnny and telling her it wasn't his fault.

Piggoi's ankle problem is a bit peculiar, isn't it? She was claiming that she was fine on Sunday, but it's apparently got worse if anything. My money is still on a haemorrhage within the joint.

OK, I'm moving on from thread statistician to thread transcription service. This is what I got from iPlayer (but I've probably missed a few things).

H: (in car) We won't be late, I promise (car door opens). I know exactly wh-

T: (distant) Johnnnny!

E: (nearer) No, oh-

P: What was that?

E: Nooooo!

H: Oh my God! (mooing)

T: Aah! aah! (falling? gate clatters?)

H: (moving away) Dad! (Henry screams)

E: Move!

J: Henry!

E: Move!

H: Henry! Darling, stay still, absolutely still (louder mooing, distressed? mooing, human gasps of pain?)

Cheerful music

CA: And Ed does the right thing tomorrow night. [What's that? Shouts "Don't move! Sorry, got it wrong when I said 'move'!"]

Could it be broken in some way?

I know Peggy isn't very popular but I do feel for her. Gettibg old isn't nice and can be very isolating.

Quick place mark... I keep missing threads... Can only seem to keep up with one mn TIO at a time it seems, and I have joined another ante natal thread so am spurning you all for talk of vom and sore boobs

Anyway, dying for tomorrow's episode!

The first mooing was from cows not Helen, just to clarify.

Icimoi, I read your diagnosis of Piggoi's ailment as a haemorrhoid within the joint. It was all a bit far-fetched - surely Helen would have taken the old bat to Borchester, installed her at Chez Marcel or whatever the salon is called and then gone to the chemist for a compression bandage.
Can anyone remember the name of the salon where Susan got her ill-advised pineapple beehive?

Predictions for tomorrow-

At some point Peggy will say, 'Tony should never have bought those cows. I told him so at the time.'

More than one ambulance will be needed because Rob will arrive in a blaze od righteous indignation and accuse GPs of being inept and not fit to look after H. Ian will deck him again.

Carol will arrive in floating draperies and brew a herbal elixir which will either make everyone ill or give them the munchies.

Congratulations Pas when are you due?

Thanks Tall June, I think. Just 10 weeks now. Feel like sh*te!! All in a good cause (and probably don't feel as bad as Henry/Johnny/Ed/Tony/Otto/other squished inhabitant of Ambridge).

Ooh, new thread. Thanks, Pseudo.

And thanks for the transcription service, DDD. The end of the episode was confusing (or maybe I'm just easily confused).

Yes, it left me a little confused, which is why I sat and listened until I had it all on paper!

Thanks for writing out the script d3, it helped to see it sequentially as it was a bit rushed and garbled at the end and v unclear who had been squished although the whole episode was laden tension...it must have been the arrival of the car which caused the chain of events and I hadn't realised it was a two parter....! Another angst filled night