Would moving to a very rural dream home be a mistake?

[bluejumperoo]

Seen a beautiful house over the weekend, literally my dream home. Only problem is it’s rural. So rural that no Amazon or takeaway deliveries. There’s a little shop. And it’s a tourist area so some parts of the year it won’t be so empty. A small restaurant around the corner but windy scary country pitch black lanes to navigate…

would I be crazy to entertain it. I’m 40 as is my dh with a 13 yo who also loved the house. School is actually 10 mins away and dc will be starting there from September hence us even entertaining it seriously tbh. . Most dc get a bus to the school as it’s out the way, but as the house is really big I’m hoping as dc friends get older they can all come to stay at ours (there’s a whole floor of extra guest bedrooms) and once dc goes off to uni I’m also hoping they can bring their friends back as it has a big cinema room, pool plus it’s in a rural tourist area so hoping that’s an attraction to help ensure we’re not left alone forever once dc has flown the nest. We had been looking for a generic family home until this one came along. Our only dc is close to us and I’m also thinking one day they might come back with their family to live as the house is big and Id love for that to happen so dc and future family doesn’t have to work as hard as we did. Saying that they’d have to wfh!

one big concern is that no one comes to visit us. We do throw massive parties once or twice a year and usually have big gatherings etc I’m hoping people can come and stay but not always possible. I have lots of hobbies that mean being happily at home so I do believe I’d be pretty happy but don’t want to turn into some mad cat lady at the same time!

I think im part mad and part on the verge of offering. Help talk me down out my ideas of being queen of the Manor House 😂

We have lived rurally since my DC were in primary. They are adults now and have all moved to cities. They loved it when they were younger. We had loads of room, big house with land and a stream to play with. We had quad bikes and camped out in our fields in the summer. We also had huge parties and music festivals. It was brilliant in COVID. Everyone came home for a few months and they had a blast. But you need to be happy to be a 4x4 taxi and to get them their own transport as soon as they can drive. We have a starlink for Internet which is really the only way to get decent speed to WFH. We do get deliveries, but they often can't find the house anyway. Winter can be long as there are no streetlights. We also keep horses at home so have a reason to be here. But we will have to move again before we get too old as it's not a suitable place for the old and frail.

We made this move last year and love it. Our kids are young and we have a lovely garden to play in so don’t feel the need to go to anywhere on the weekends etc. The only problem I have is with activities, it’s a long drive to take the kids to football, library, events etc. So we have cut down what we do which is rubbish. But I still think the benefits out way the negatives. We still have Amazon though but no takeaways which I don’t mind. We have lots of family and friends staying all year around and hosting can be a pain (and expensive for food!) but we’ve got it down to some quick cheap meals to feed all e.g hot dogs with the sausages on the bbq for summer, jacket potatoes. If you all love it…go for it! Like I said there’s always positives and negatives with any property/location. You all just have to be happy, which it seems like you are!

Sounds like a beautiful house but the location is I think just too isolated. Teenagers will become frustrated with lack of independence. And personally I would hate to have to drive through unlit country lanes through necessity and you might too as you get older.

We live rurally. There is a scenic walk close by so we get cars passing from that but nothing crazy.

You get used to the dark streets and driving in them when you are driving them regularly.

We cant order takeout for delivery but its not an issue. Once a week or so we would just collect takeout on the way home. The nearest small town is 15 min drive away.

With parties, the house is great for entertaining large numbers but whoever visits always needs a designated driver.

We're pretty much just used to driving everywhere now and its not really an issue.

Dc have friends nearby, within cycling distance and I would rather have them socialising here than in a town.
They can have a number of friends here with plenty of space.
We have some land too that they mostly use for soccer and tennis.

Wifi - not as good as in town but still able to wfh, stream etc.

On the point of when they are older - we will more than likely downsize from a 5 bed to a 3bed so they will always have a room if they need it.

We may move closer to a town when older but for the minute I am totally happy here surrounded by trees.

Sorry just to add to my previous message. My nephew (19 years old) has come to stay multiple times and brought his friends one weekend. They all absolutely loved it. They played football in the field, we got them to help pick some apples from the trees, we’ve got a massive projector outside now (Aldi) so we can watch football outside and they didn’t want to leave! They did drive into the nearest town one day. But I do think teenagers still love rural remote places.

Go for it!!

We live very rurally surrounded by fields in an area that’s touristy. Luckily, we’re in Ireland and the govt. has put a lot of money into ensuring rural areas have good Wi-Fi so most of us are on 1 gigabit broadband.

It was brilliant during Covid as we each had our own living room so not getting in each others way and plenty of opportunity for walks on the nearby deserted beaches etc.

DS is an older teen and occasionally stays with a friend in the town but as he’s into his metal music, he can play the bass as loudly as he likes and it won’t bother anyone. His friends in the band often come to ours to practice although another band member has a large secure barn they can practice in too.

I grew up in towns and cities and can’t stand living too near to other people now so not being able to order a takeaway for delivery is a very small price to pay for peace and quiet.

I remember one of my children got invited to a friend’s, it was so rural they gave me coordinates from an OS map. In toad season you have to avoid the toads on the road although they said they “just drive fast”. I couldn’t do that.

I reckon it will be too much of a faff for pple to drive and come and visit. Buy a house that suits you and your family - don’t buy it to host. Remeber, worst house in best location vs best house in worst location.

It sounds idyllic but not for a young person. I don't think it would work. Unless your young person is rather introverted. Yes friends can come and stay.....but sleepovers aren't very exciting after a certain age.

That was my experience too

We moved to a village when our children were small and don't regret it.

We were party central for their friends, which was nice actually, we knew where they were and were safe and I liked having teenagers around.

But we weren't that rural - we get Amazon and Ocado and other deliveries although we're very limited on takeaways.

The other thing to consider is that you may end up hosting your families at Christmas, Easter, birthdays because you have the space. We did this for years and enjoyed it but a couple of years ago decided it was just too much work and effort and expense so now only invite a few people at at time rather than 30 for lunch. It was great while we did it though.

If you can afford it and love it, do it.

Amazon deliver everywhere, even super rural islands (via post) visit the house in wind and rain, is it still appealing?

Can you look for a little less rural

teens having independence is a huge thing

no Amazon prime would be a no from me as I use it a lot

far easier then driving into my local town which isn’t far - but then paying a limb to park for an hour - the shops may not have what I want and don’t always have a spare hour + to drive /park/shop

few taps on Amazon and arriving tomorrow

I live rurally and wouldn’t change it for the world. You are buying a life style - not convenience. Your whole way of life can and will change. The issue won’t be that you won’t have visitors, more that you will feel constantly booked up unless you are strong! We have great friends, community and life - teens love roaming outside and having friends to stay. I would book a second viewing and get into the detail. Gigaclear is a must, and log deliveries! Stock for the winter and enjoy!

And no Amazon which is really just an outpost for chinas cheap tat would be a benefit not a negative. Your little shop probably relies on the trade.

I wouldn't do it with a child that age personally. We are actually moving into a more central location soon, away from our current home (that has bus links, but nothing easily walkable, so we are in the car a lot). Eldest DC is 18, still learning to drive & tbh, I wouldn't want them doing dark, winding roads on winter evenings as a new driver. DC's friends find it a hassle to come to ours, as none drive yet, it takes a good while on the bus, there's nothing nearby, so they tend to just meet up in town instead. I would love to live more rurally, but I don't think it's ideal for teens/young adults.

How far away is it from your current friends? We moved about 2 or 2.5 hours away five years ago - visits have definitely dropped off after the initial flurry.

Also kids don’t always want their friends at your house - we are too embarrassing now our kids are young teens. They will bring trusted good friends but not the wider crowd (this may be a good thing?) This is partially because I’m embarrassing and I talk to their friends (I have taken this feedback on board and will remain mute in my allotted role of provider of lifts, dinners and money…)

We had many of our friends moving out of towns and cities because they didn’t feel their teens were safe/getting into the wrong crowd/going out clubbing all night etc etc. It has helped us enormously to always have our dc collected from everywhere, and it’s proved to have helped dc to set boundaries etc too.

It depends what kind of life you want for your dc. Ours are into horses, sports and house parties. So the country life suits them well, it’s particularly fun in the summer.

Yes we’re already halfway into country life tbh. I drive everywhere and am used to that. This house is over 6000sq ft. Dc would not be bothering us if they had their friends over. It’s more worrying if they will come, we would put a games:entertainment room in to accommodate ‘something to do’. I’m also kind of hoping as it’s a touristy area maybe over the summer we’ll have people wanting free accommodation in the area coming over.

I love hosting and am fine to do that financially as well. Oooo I’m kind of 70:30 towards doing it if I’m honest but there’s a little voice of reason stopping me still. Second viewing may have to happen.

Seeing as you already live fairly rurally, it's not as though you're moving from Zone 1 London to the Outer Hebrides, is it? You know what life is like. You're already used to not being on mains utilities, you're used to driving everywhere etc. What's your niggle - that's what you should be addressing. And how far from your current community? We moved 1 mile slightly more rurally and definitely see less of our friends via 'passing traffic', but host friends regularly, and it's really not that far! I see my friends most days.

Yes, I'm similarly puzzled. And that it's a school that the OPs child was already destined to go to, so presumably not miles away from the current location.

I grew up in a small village that I wouldn't describe as particularly rural but we had no school or shop within 10 minutes. Takeaways just weren't a thing growing up, so it's not something that's even on my radar when looking at houses.

I grew up as an only child, living in a location like this. My school was in the local village, about 20 min drive away. Nearest neighbours were about 2 miles away, and there were no other kids.
It was ideal for my parents, as they were desperate for a small holding, and they very much lived ‘their dream.’.
However, it is not something I would do, if I had kids, especially an only child.
I’m an introvert, who is very imaginative, so I was okay(ish), but I often think I would have been happier, and a more adaptable person, if I had had more opportunities to make friendships, that were accessible.
Also, during the Autumn and Winter months, storms/snow would cut off our roads and electricity for a few days at a time. That really sucked over Christmas, and my birthday, which is in February.

It does sound lovely but you will be in the car a lot and I would be concerned as you get older. Also winter might be brutal.

I went back to my old village and whilst it isn't remote you couldn't get an Uber or deliveroo and it made me appreciate where I live now. As teenagers we just did a lot of walking. I'm semi rural but with amenities and a decent bus service fairly close to a city.

Could you stay at an Airbnb for a week off season? Would that help you decide?

I think it sounds amazing and you should do it HOWEVER I think its so unfair of you to already be mapping out your DCs life like that. Are you going to be quietly guilt tripping them to come home when they're a student and all they want to do is knock around their uni city all summer? And if they ever get married, you're expecting your son/daughter in law to be cool with living in your house?

If you do this, you need to go into it assuming you might never see your DC ever except a week at Christmas. What if they emigrate to Oz or something?

The honest question to ask yourself is: if your DC reached 18 and never set foot in the house again, would you still be happy living there

So rural that no Amazon or takeaway deliveries.
Nope. Not for me.

Houses in the middle of nowhere look fabulous at this time of year. Less so when you're driving on narrow roads on wet winter nights.