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Would moving to a very rural dream home be a mistake?

180 replies

bluejumperoo · 14/07/2026 10:59

Seen a beautiful house over the weekend, literally my dream home. Only problem is it’s rural. So rural that no Amazon or takeaway deliveries. There’s a little shop. And it’s a tourist area so some parts of the year it won’t be so empty. A small restaurant around the corner but windy scary country pitch black lanes to navigate…

would I be crazy to entertain it. I’m 40 as is my dh with a 13 yo who also loved the house. School is actually 10 mins away and dc will be starting there from September hence us even entertaining it seriously tbh. . Most dc get a bus to the school as it’s out the way, but as the house is really big I’m hoping as dc friends get older they can all come to stay at ours (there’s a whole floor of extra guest bedrooms) and once dc goes off to uni I’m also hoping they can bring their friends back as it has a big cinema room, pool plus it’s in a rural tourist area so hoping that’s an attraction to help ensure we’re not left alone forever once dc has flown the nest. We had been looking for a generic family home until this one came along. Our only dc is close to us and I’m also thinking one day they might come back with their family to live as the house is big and Id love for that to happen so dc and future family doesn’t have to work as hard as we did. Saying that they’d have to wfh!

one big concern is that no one comes to visit us. We do throw massive parties once or twice a year and usually have big gatherings etc I’m hoping people can come and stay but not always possible. I have lots of hobbies that mean being happily at home so I do believe I’d be pretty happy but don’t want to turn into some mad cat lady at the same time!

I think im part mad and part on the verge of offering. Help talk me down out my ideas of being queen of the Manor House 😂

OP posts:
whirlyhead · 14/07/2026 12:17

I grew up in a similar house, and it was very difficult to see friends and go out, so I was quite isolated for years. My parents bought me a motorbike when I was 16, and after that it was fine as I was never home but before then - miserable. As soon as I was 18 I moved to the city and didn't go back home.

It's a lovely idea that your child might want to live with you one day with their family, but probably not very realistic. It's unlikely whomever their partner is that they'd want to live with their in-laws. I love mine but there is no way I could share a house with them!

ActuallyComfortable · 14/07/2026 12:17

My parents moved us to a big house in a rural location when I was a child.

It was fine - ish as a child BUT local children wouldn't play with us as we were outsiders (their parents and grandparents had known one another when they were children - you're not local unless you're born there, and even then you're a bit foreign unless your parents were also born locally)... Luckily we were a big family so had sibling company, although being pushed together properly also increased resentment between us.

The lack of public transport was a huge, huge issue between the ages of 14 and 17. It's impossible to do anything without lifts, including get a summer holiday job. Friends increasingly want to be somewhere with more going on as you reach mid and older teens and don't want to be at a house they can't get to and from independently/ go into town from.

For your child - it's a dreadful idea, don't make a 13 year old responsible for the decision and throw it back at them when they complain about the isolation in two years time, they can't imagine how they'll change and orientate towards peers and away from parents over the next five years.

My parents rattled around their "forever home" until they died, my mum had expected to be the hostess for all family occasions but the remote location didn't lend itself well to that as it was not easily reachable by public transport. They leant very heavily on my sister and sister in law in their last few years for lifts, to the detriment of pathologically nice sil's career, children and stress levels.

Ambulances take a long time to get to rural locations. Deaths on rural roads (young adults walking home from the pub on roads without pavements, head on collisions, drunk drivers) are too high.

I wouldn't. Not with a 13 year old and not if you intend to grow old there.

The idea your child will move their own family in with you is pie in the sky - are there jobs outside the seasonal tourist industry?

TheFrendo · 14/07/2026 12:22

We live rurally, at times we have been half a mile from a road. Always had internet and Amazon. I never want to live in a city again.

I get fields and dales and contours and trees.

istherereallytimeforallthat · 14/07/2026 12:26

It sounds idyllic, but blimey, how rural is it that even Amazon won't deliver there?

Dariella · 14/07/2026 12:26

I think I’d love it.

Jennalong · 14/07/2026 12:28

We live in Cumbria . It doesn't sound as rural as your possible house , but whilst there is a shop within a few miles we still have to drive an over 60 miles round trip to a reasonable sized Sainsbury's ( Carlisle ) and our dentist is probably a 50 miles round trip likewise 60 miles round trip to diy shops .
Whilst we haven't yet made any major furniture purchases will fully expect to have to go over to the North East to get the choice .

Have you factored in / will you have the time to spend quite a few hours of a day doing things like that ?

Thundertoast · 14/07/2026 12:33

I grew up in a rural area, thankfully we lived in an actual town but went to school with LOADS of people who lived similarly to how you describe and id say 2/3rds outright hated it and the remaining 1/3rd liked it but found it frustrating, and none of them have moved back and the majority of people would stay in their uni town or a friends uni town for the summer so they could work. And none of them would ever dream of moving back in with their parents other than temporarily, its so hard to get jobs/childcare/build a community etc. Sorry, it does sound beautiful!

Chaarlene · 14/07/2026 12:34

I don't understand how it can have a shop and a school ten minutes away, but no Amazon?!

As this is in Property, can you post the listing so we can help make a judgement?

Mischance · 14/07/2026 12:36

I have lived very rurally for most of my married life and brought up 3 children here.

It is very different from city or town life, but for me has massive advantages - the view from my windows fills my soul and the wonderful sense of community and all the activities going on is precious to me.

You need to make a list of what you might miss and go into it with your eyes open. You will become a taxi service for your children, which I never minded at all. Interestingly my now adult children have all chosen to live rurally and bring up their families in a rural setting - 2 of them are about 20 minutes from here.

I love it - I love everything about it - it is simply a way of life that replaces corner coffee shops and galleries with natural beauty and community. Horses for courses really - what suits one will not suit another.

I detest being in towns and cities - can't bear the noise and the fumes - and the impersonal vibe.

Do your research - have plans for getting to the things you need to get to. I can drive to a station in half an hour and get to concert halls etc, easily. I feel I have the best of both worlds - culture available with a bit of travelling and living in a beautiful place.

It should also be remembered that concerts etc. are all over the place in the countryside.

Health and care needs are met by services that are geared up to a rural area.

pinkdyno · 14/07/2026 12:36

@Chaarlenetotally agree. OP do you mean no Amazon same day instant?

we are very rural, like forty minutes to nearest shop. Amazon prime still available next day usually.

Newgirls · 14/07/2026 12:38

The only issue is your teen when they are 14+.

their independence is restricted as they need you to drive them around and that curtails flexibility, job opportunities etc

they might not be interested in model making soon?

are you ok if they drive at 17? Does it feel safe for that?

would they return post college or uni? Any work opportunities?

Silverbirchleaf · 14/07/2026 12:39

Gardenandseawitch · 14/07/2026 11:43

I would do this if I was younger!

I would make a list of essentials for daily life and look at how you are going to access things like:

  • GP, dentist and a hospital in case of emergency
  • A supermarket
  • A post office
  • Sporting/leisure activities
  • a vet if you have pets
  • a garage if you have trouble with your car
  • local tradespeople if you need work done on the house
  • how good the internet is
  • would you be able to find new jobs if you were to lose your current ones and would the commute become an issue.

Basically look at the basics and how close a nearby town might be for what you need and you can make it work then go for it!

This.

First visit you look bc with your heart, the second with your head. Think practicalities. .

anewstartin2026 · 14/07/2026 12:40

We lived rurally for 7 years - our teenager loved the idea, but not the reality. Also didn’t get that many people coming for parties as everyone needed to drive there so the drivers can’t have a drink, which puts folk off. Have now moved into the nearest wee village and am loving having a shop and a pub and public transport!

PinkNailPolish2026 · 14/07/2026 12:43

You’ve described a similar place to where we live. Keep in mind you’ll be a taxi driver a lot of the time for your children, we chose to live here so we paid for driving lessons, tests, cars, insurance. Some rural communities can be very insular and not very welcoming to newcomers, DH family have lived here all their lives but I’ve witnessed newcomers being excluded from many social events that the locals hold. We stock up for winter as we’re often snowed in and the weather can be awful for months on end during winter.

There will be somewhere that you can collect Amazon deliveries and we’ve never really eaten take away so it’s not something we’ve ever missed.

We live in a tourist area and I’m not going to lie it’s hell on earth some days with camper vans if you’re trying to get somewhere as many can’t drive on rural roads.

We all love living here though and it’s been a wonderful place to bring our children up.

Runsaway · 14/07/2026 12:45

No, I would hate it and it’s really difficult for teens too. Also, people say they will visit- and they will, once - but then it’ll be too remote and difficult to get to. People I know who moved to a very rural location found they were very isolated and lonely and the big get-togethers they had envisioned just didn’t happen.

Emmasblackboard · 14/07/2026 12:49

whirlyhead · 14/07/2026 12:17

I grew up in a similar house, and it was very difficult to see friends and go out, so I was quite isolated for years. My parents bought me a motorbike when I was 16, and after that it was fine as I was never home but before then - miserable. As soon as I was 18 I moved to the city and didn't go back home.

It's a lovely idea that your child might want to live with you one day with their family, but probably not very realistic. It's unlikely whomever their partner is that they'd want to live with their in-laws. I love mine but there is no way I could share a house with them!

See if I had that big a house, I think I could share with my DC and family - trouble is, I’m 60, DC are 30, 28 and 25 and none of them are ready to settle down like this yet! So it could be a long wait, and I wouldn’t want them to feel they’ve come back to support me. I don’t think the pull would be there, the fantasy of the family home… especially as OP’s DC would’ve spent most of their childhood in a different house(s).

mondaytosunday · 14/07/2026 12:50

Hard no from me but I’m a city person. I could just about entertain living on the edge of a market town but your place sounds far too rural.

ActuallyComfortable · 14/07/2026 12:54

Emmasblackboard · 14/07/2026 12:49

See if I had that big a house, I think I could share with my DC and family - trouble is, I’m 60, DC are 30, 28 and 25 and none of them are ready to settle down like this yet! So it could be a long wait, and I wouldn’t want them to feel they’ve come back to support me. I don’t think the pull would be there, the fantasy of the family home… especially as OP’s DC would’ve spent most of their childhood in a different house(s).

You could share with your DC - but could they share with you?

I don't mean that as a dig - I'd happily be roommates with my grown up kids, but wouldn't have been able to live with my parents for more than a week without getting very fed up, and don't think I'd have lasted a full month even if the alternative was a campsite.

It's easy for a parent to imagine living with their children but for adult children it's a very difficult dynamic if they've been independent in their own home in between, or even just want to be and don't want to revert to childhood!

ChicGreyZebra · 14/07/2026 13:01

Not with a teenager unless their friends will be living nearby.

mumumental · 14/07/2026 13:02

Yes because your ds is the wrong age for such a move.

KievLoverTwo · 14/07/2026 13:03

I've just come out of 4.5 years of living rural (across three locations) and I have to say, being released from the constant, constant planning involved is the biggest advantage of living in a town.

That said, some folks will probably laugh at 'rural' - our nearest town was 8 miles away.

You never get to 'just pop into town' for some milk; trips to town become a military operation. You have to go to a) to drop off a parcel of clothes you ordered that don't fit, b) to drop off an Amazon return, c) to pick up a drillbit, d) to get half a week's supermarket shop and e) to get another type of food that supermarket d) don't do as well.

It becomes 2-3 hours, at the end of which you're knackered, it's eaten away most of your evening (you've had to eat a 5pm to squeeze all this in) or half a weekend day, and then you have to do it all again the following week.

Ordering stuff starts to become a mental block for the sheer number of returns.

The worst thing for me was veg. Most supermarket veg is already going off by the time you've bought it these days, we didn't have a cold store room, or even storage really for a Riverford Organics box. I hate bad food, I threw so much stuff away that was 'on the turn.'

Food planning became a tedious chore. Buying anything online became tedious because 50% of the time, stuff needed returning.

Autumn/winter became tedious: it snowed, the snow in town was gone the next day, for us the roads were frozen for 9 days. Or, you'd go out to the next (uphill) village and hit an almost solid wall of fog.

I'm really good at planning, I used to do it for a job, but the extreme amount of planning it took to live semi-rurally just made me intensely resent it.

I should add, I don't drive, so most of the chores involved my partner driving on weekends and evenings (dreadful bus service), and that didn't help. But, even if I did drive, I think I'd probably feel the same way.

Idk if it matters to you, but our last rural place had 16 power cuts in the first year, and our first rural place had 82 internet outages in a 9 month period.

You can put in whatever precautions you want (i.e., a generator), but you can't control the local electricity board/phone providers not maintaining trees along the lines. There's a certain amount of time they have to be down before they have to provide compensation, but, even worse, with our electricity board, there was 0 unless the village had a population of more than 5k people (hello? do you KNOW what a village is). So, there was really very little incentive for them to pull their finger out and do anything about it.

C8H10N4O2 · 14/07/2026 13:05

bluejumperoo · 14/07/2026 11:55

well I live semi rurally now with oil and septic tank so already used to that (but if a pain but can handle!). Im also the resident teen taxi service and that won’t change anyway. Already about 1.5 hour round trip to the cinema everyone goes to. It’s ok though.

The house has a back up generator with the sale. Emergency services would be an issue I reckon. No hospital overly close by.

going in the dark is a good idea. We have some street lights where we currently live and this house wouldn’t. Dc wants to move because it’s so big they can basically have room for their hobbies which currently involve creating large sculptures. Don’t ask 😂

In which case you are already familiar with the key practicalities - amazon/supermarkets etc will deliver, Starlink will provide decent connectivity (BT very likely won’t) but taxis need booking well in advance and forget deliveroo. Oil fired heating and a septic tank also standard. You need to make an effort to get to know your nearby neighbours and the local village.

What are you really worried about? You are probably dealing with most of the downside already.

sausageth · 14/07/2026 13:12

I don't really understand the teen argument. Yes it's tough for them but it's no big deal ferrying them around and it's only for a few years. It doesn't sound like the OP is short of money so can probably easily afford driving lessons and maybe even a car as soon as they're old enough. At that point they become the coolest kid around, at least that's what it was like when I was a teen.

MajorProcrastination · 14/07/2026 13:16

It's sounds cool. I'd say give it a go. You don't have to stay there forever if it turns out not to work for you.

My initial worry was about the teen's freedom and social life but with school so close and them already being used to living somewhere a bit awkward I'd say go for it.

My adult friends who lived rurally HATED that they couldn't get around easily. One said there was a lot of drink driving amongst her peers between house parties because there was no public transport or decent taxi service. One learnt to ride a moped as soon as she could so she'd not have to rely on parents all the bloody time.

I grew up in a town near a big city and even the people who lived the last stop in the taxi away in the next village hated that inconvenience when we were old enough to go to bars and clubs. We'd all sleep over at the house closest to the city to get the cheapest taxi trips and that happened to be the smallest house.

When we were 14 and used to hang out in a big park in the town, some could walk (the winners), some like me could cycle there (the runners up), and some never came at all because their village had no train and unreliable buses (the losers).

But it sounds like your kid will love it and it'll fit your lives. Do it.

landmarkyear · 14/07/2026 13:22

I grew up in a very rural area. I never again want to be so cut off and isolated from pretty much everything and everyone