Would moving to a very rural dream home be a mistake?

[bluejumperoo]

Seen a beautiful house over the weekend, literally my dream home. Only problem is it’s rural. So rural that no Amazon or takeaway deliveries. There’s a little shop. And it’s a tourist area so some parts of the year it won’t be so empty. A small restaurant around the corner but windy scary country pitch black lanes to navigate…

would I be crazy to entertain it. I’m 40 as is my dh with a 13 yo who also loved the house. School is actually 10 mins away and dc will be starting there from September hence us even entertaining it seriously tbh. . Most dc get a bus to the school as it’s out the way, but as the house is really big I’m hoping as dc friends get older they can all come to stay at ours (there’s a whole floor of extra guest bedrooms) and once dc goes off to uni I’m also hoping they can bring their friends back as it has a big cinema room, pool plus it’s in a rural tourist area so hoping that’s an attraction to help ensure we’re not left alone forever once dc has flown the nest. We had been looking for a generic family home until this one came along. Our only dc is close to us and I’m also thinking one day they might come back with their family to live as the house is big and Id love for that to happen so dc and future family doesn’t have to work as hard as we did. Saying that they’d have to wfh!

one big concern is that no one comes to visit us. We do throw massive parties once or twice a year and usually have big gatherings etc I’m hoping people can come and stay but not always possible. I have lots of hobbies that mean being happily at home so I do believe I’d be pretty happy but don’t want to turn into some mad cat lady at the same time!

I think im part mad and part on the verge of offering. Help talk me down out my ideas of being queen of the Manor House 😂

Did you mean no Amazon? I wouldn't care about no deliveroo type stuff. There is very very little where I live which is pretty suburban, and what there is arrives cold. I'd want EXCELLENT wi fi though and ocado. If the house is that big, I'd be looking at the availability of cleaners and I'd also be checking the crime ratings for the area.

My parents lived in a (slightly rural but very beautiful) village that did have a bus service, but it was one bus an hour, and that was a pain as a teenager (for socialising and getting to part time jobs). I would walk or cycle to the nearest town though. If it snowed, you needed snow chains to drive to main roads.

I now live in a village just one mile out from town and there's an excellent bus service (4 or 5 buses an hour, from very early morning to quite late at night), and it's also very easily walkable to town from here. My current village has good amenities and it's a very short drive to town, which is handy. My youngest can walk to her school, my eldest has a motorbike. If need be, I can walk to work (I won't drive in my village in the snow without snow chains as it's all hilly, with narrow roads and the roads never gets gritted).

The house of my dreams is more rural, but still on a good bus route and about 5miles from town (smack bang between two large towns). If I won tonight's jackpot, I'd buy it - but then I wouldn't have to work FT (or at all) so giving lifts to DC would be less of a problem! And I wouldn't have a problem with surrounding myself with my cats and being a bit of a hermit. Knowing the area, I know it would be a bastard for driving in snow though (unless I had a 4WD car and snow chains to get to main roads).

Definitely look at bus routes, work commutes, logistics of driving at different times of day/night in the area and things like that. Transport links would be the big thing for me. It does sound lovely though :)

Don't move to a very rural location unless you have rural interests or hobbies- the fact you even checked for deliveries and takeaways is a red flag TBH. Also 13 is on the cusp of the teen years DS will be bereft of friends and things to do- you will be a constant taxi service for sure. I lived in a remote village at this age, but my main hobby was riding my pony, so I was ok, I missed friends and things to do inspite of this though-it was very isolating, when otherfamily members were out (most of the time), and it wasn't riding weather, I was pinned in the village, not optimum.

Intrigued as to what bit of the country can’t get Amazon. We are in the Highlands and still gets here albeit slowly!

Should any of you get an unexpected medical condition that need regular hospital visits even for something like certain eye conditions etc - this could be a problem and as one ages they can become multiple.

I think it's the wrong time. Your 13 year old loving it now doesn't mean that much when they will change so significantly over the next 5 years. They could hate it in 12 months if they have a new hobby, friendship group, boy/girlfriend. I'd park the idea until they are 18 then consider moving at that point.

Only buy it if you are not a lazy resentful parent.

No. I would LOVE a house like this, but I have two teenagers (so can keep each other company) and only live semi rurally but I agree with what everyone has said.

The biggest concern for me would be hospitals. We live semi rurally near a main hospital but was still advised by 999 to put my husband in the car a drive him as the ambulances were busy and it would take over an hour to get to us. This was for a heart attack.

What about when you are older? And can no longer drive? Daughter left home for a city life? Eventually one of you is going to end up alone. Hopefully not for a very long time, but imagine living in your dream home, but entirely on your own and unable to get out without walking down a country lane to a bus stop. Now also imagine that when you are old and have mobility issues.

As much as I love the idea of that sort of life, I stay in a village with a GP and a shop I can easily walk to and excellent bus links to a very nearby town. To make up for it we rent beautiful country holiday cottages for our holidays

Just be prepared to drive your 13 year old everywhere, at all hours, for the next 5 years.

Rural life is all I have known and whilst I really enjoy little snippets of city life when I go, I quickly realise that it isn’t for me and I’m perfectly happy with all the negatives that come with rural life!

Write a list of pros and cons. Be very honest.

Do your research. For example, is there a dairy farm next door? How are you going to cope during muck spreading season?

Poor weather feels more extreme when you are cut off from civilisation. It’s lovely to have snow but when you can’t leave your home for a week and you are running low on food, it’s less funny. Your road is unlikely to see any gritters either! Similarly, when a tree goes down (and given it impacts a small portion of the community), the council will have it as a lesser priority, you’ll be hoping that the farmer next door will bring his chainsaw out and remove it with his tractor.

It sounds like you are used to the travel/ inconvenience so that’s a lesser issue but consider the realities of being completely alone (if that’s the case here?) in all practical senses. Like the examples above, it’s nice to know you have at least a handful of neighbours near enough so that you can help each other out.

Your child will leave at 18 and probably not come back, as yes friends could stay, but why would they want to. Without kids yes, but with a teen? No from me.

I live rurally and hate it.

I am very fortunate because I know some people live in awful places and so I am very grateful but for me it would depend on how rural this new place is.

The biggest issues for me is not being able to get anywhere easily.
There was a bus but it has now massively reduced its service and will eventually go all together.
A taxi is very difficult to come by and going out for drinks with friends is an absolute nightmare - I basically have to get a hotel room or drive and not drink.
There are of course no paths so simply just wanting to get out and get some fresh air is non existent and it’s a pain in the arse having to get the car out and pay for parking just because I want to stretch my legs.

Jobs are extremely difficult to come by and you’ll be driving a good hour to most of them.
When it’s tourist season then you’re stuck in traffic for even longer.

I also live in a touristy area and whenever people hear about where I live they cannot believe how lucky I am but it’s very different living somewhere and holidaying somewhere.

There was a very popular restaurant and bar but when the bus service changed it lost its drinkers and even relying on the holiday makers wasn’t enough to keep it afloat so it closed down.

I am very grateful to be there but I just want to go to the gym, meet friends, walk to a shop for milk, go to a bar, join some clubs etc and everything is just difficult.

My DC want to go and meet there friends in town, go out clubbing, pop home and get changed, join clubs, get jobs etc - all things that involve lifts from me (meaning I can’t go out if they’re going out) and they can’t be as independent as we’d want.

I can see a time between about 50-60yo where people are done with the rat race and want a more relaxed life but I think any other age would struggle.

I’m wondering if you currently don’t have many friends or hobbies and so you don’t mind having a more relaxed life and just ferrying your DC around - but that may likely change in a couple of years.

It depends how rural and how far away it is from everything that would decide it for me.

Really look into how much you’d rely on your car etc and how the DCs will be able to join clubs, get PT jobs, meet their mates etc

I completely agree, especially with the fact that checking for Amazon and take away deliveries was a red flag.

If this means so much to you that you actually checked whether they did it or not, then perhaps it is way too rural for you.

How long have you actually need wanting to move and why are you wanting to move?
Or is it that you literally seen this beautiful house and you’re running away with yourself?

It sounds amazing!

Consider what it will be like in winter.

Consider how you’d feel if dc never brought friends home and aways followed the pack to another friends house.

Consider if ds went to uni and then decided to go and live in London and you didn’t see him more than once or twice a year.

I wouldn't move with a 13 year old to somewhere very rural, no way. And yes I have lived in the middle of nowhere, zero public transport etc.

As PP have pointed out you need to remove the house from your head and focus on the practicalities. GP, dentist, car mechanic. If you get really bad weather, can your car cope in the snow, sleet, mud etc.

You touched on some things that irritate me and I forgot to mention. My commute is long and there are no trains so my work day is an extra 4 hours. It’s a real inconvenience and I’m not even in the office daily.

Going out for drinks with friends. £250 for a taxi or you stay the night. We go out once a year as a couple with other couple friends 😂 The rest of the time we do things individually so the other can do the ferrying around. This may not be an issue for you but it won’t be long before it’s an issue with your DC!

I love the sound of it, but my parents lived like this when I was a teenager and I was quite lonely. People didn't make the trek often so I was dependent on dad for lifts.

Thanks, re the red flag, we currently don’t have takeaway deliveries where we live either I wanted to show how ‘rural’ it was so I get better opinions. Amazon will deliver some items but no prime and no large items apparently. I didn’t check that much as the estate agent said they didn’t think Amazon delivered and I believed them, but after the replies on here I checked and it seems they will deliver some things.

i already use starlink and know not everyone likes that but it’s fine. Doctors, I have online private healthcare but you’re right maybe as we age we’ll need more in person care. None of us have needed a GP for years outside of the online doctor. But as you say it’s something to think about. dentist I already travel over an hour for the annual check up but generally haven’t needed anything big, braces all finished etc.

I think yes maybe I’m mad to consider it. The one thing that I’ve put thought to, there’s land with the house my dd wants a horse and I would consider maybe getting horses but again it’s a consideration for things like vets etc.
but we’re on the cusp of teenage years so who knows if I’ll end up being the one stuck with the pony! At least I could ride it into town I suppose if the car breaks down.
we do have the all singing dancing 4x4 that gets us everywhere plus an electric car (through guilt of having the 4x4).

Sense is prevailing right now if I’m honest though…

From the little I’ve read, I think it would be the right decision for you. I don’t want you to regret not going for it. If it turns out not to be your forever home you could always enjoy it for a time then move on.

I live in a very rural area with no takeaway delivery etc. There is a small village shop & a pub. The nearest town is 5 miles away. We have a limited bus service. The children are now 16 & 17. It’s okay for me but the children are very isolated, they can’t get to their friends easily, can’t get to many places unless I drive them. They hate it here. I wouldn’t move somewhere like this again.

Maybe rent before you buy so you can all test out the reality

It is worth thinking about serious illness, sadly, as you just don't know when it will strike (sorry to be a doom merchant!). I was fit as a fiddle, then diagnosed with cancer - back and forth to hospital a few times a week for months, then every day (for radiotherapy). I also have private healthcare, but they needed me to be there to treat me!

If you live somewhere without street lights your eyes adjust and you can often see more without light pollution. Just saying,

We bought rurally although we get some takeaways and amazon otherwise I would have bought it! We don’t regret it one bit I love living here, youngest child was 15 when we moved here and got the bus to school but it was a couple of years of lifts which did annoy me but I always did. He passed his driving test 3 months after he turned 17 I made sure of it. However, although we’re in the country we aren’t so far out that we are isolated and too far for anyone to visit. Also we’re only a mile and a half from the village so we don’t feel isolated at all.

Sounds like the dream. Such a personal decision so unsure the internet will help! I live rurally and have solar panels, battery, borehole and Starlink. Wouldn’t change for anything!