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Original poster

Neighbour wants to copy our renovation style

149 replies

tomtom88 · 07/10/2025 11:48

Hello
Firstly I want to acknowledge everyone copies and takes inspiration from the look of other houses - me included.

However a neighbour has contacted me via whatsapp (don't know them never met them) to say they were planning to do some work to their house "along the lines of ours and had lots of questions could we find a time to talk them through"

Now while I appreciate everyone copies and takes inspiration from others myself included no way on earth would i have made direct contact with someone whose house i liked and demanded they answer my questions! I would have looked at a house and just thought how can I apply this to my home.

I really don't want to get involved with their questions - am i being silly?

OP posts:
TheStroppyFeminist · 07/10/2025 11:50

I wouldn't be offended by this, more likely flattered but if you don't want to you don't have to! You could say "sorry, I don't have time, wishing you the best of luck"

Original poster
tomtom88 · 07/10/2025 11:50

Any good response that wont a) lead to me being their design expert/advisor 2) come across as really rude

OP posts:
NellieJean · 07/10/2025 11:50

I’d be flattered and invite them over for a glass of wine but each to their own.

Arlanymor · 07/10/2025 11:51

Is it a demand or are they politely asking?

I think it's a compliment more than anything else - sounds like you have had something done which they have seen externally and wish that they could apply to their home and wondered about the process - e.g. converting a garage or an attic space. You are not obliged to help and if you don't want to then you are well within your rights to say no, that you don't have the time and/or the inclination.

User415373 · 07/10/2025 11:51

You're being silly, yes. They're hardly 'demanding' it?! If you don't want to, just say no? They're only asking.
Might be a nice way to meet/get friendly with neighbours.

bunnypenny · 07/10/2025 11:51

Where’s the demand? “Could” is a request.

NoCommentingFromNowOn · 07/10/2025 11:52

How did they get your number?

Are the houses of the same period, like a street of 30s semis or whatever?

ramonaquimby · 07/10/2025 11:52

Yeah you're being silly.
and where have they 'demanded'?

SixSeven · 07/10/2025 11:52

Yes I think that’s a bit mean of you. I’d definitely let them come and have a look, it’s called being neighbourly.

Original poster
tomtom88 · 07/10/2025 11:53

Oh god your making me feel bad. I am quite shy and very private really and it just makes me feel uncomfortable

OP posts:
Enrichetta · 07/10/2025 11:53

NellieJean · 07/10/2025 11:50

I’d be flattered and invite them over for a glass of wine but each to their own.

me too

AOIFEmissingUalways · 07/10/2025 11:54

Enrichetta · 07/10/2025 11:53

me too

Show quote history

Me three

Duckyfondant · 07/10/2025 11:54

I think they've been quite presumptuous! It's not necessarily a question of finding time. You might not actually want to answer their questions.

Enrichetta · 07/10/2025 11:54

tomtom88 · 07/10/2025 11:53

Oh god your making me feel bad. I am quite shy and very private really and it just makes me feel uncomfortable

You don’t need to do anything you feel uncomfortable about.

But every now and again it might be a good idea to do something that is just a little outside your comfort zone.

CraftyNavySeal · 07/10/2025 11:55

NellieJean · 07/10/2025 11:50

I’d be flattered and invite them over for a glass of wine but each to their own.

And tell them “don’t get x it’s a pain in the arse to clean/ we love y it’s been really good”

They aren’t asking you to be a project manager or engineer.

dontmalbeconme · 07/10/2025 11:55

NellieJean · 07/10/2025 11:50

I’d be flattered and invite them over for a glass of wine but each to their own.

This! In fact, I did do exactly this some years ago when a neighbour asked if they could look at our newly converted loft as they were considering doing theirs. We're now good friends and often meet for a glass of wine!

isthesolution · 07/10/2025 11:56

awww fantastic. We had our designs done by <name company> and their contact details are -

LibertyLily · 07/10/2025 11:58

I don't think you're being silly @tomtom88!

Yes, it's flattering, but I wouldn't like that either and the last thing I'd do would invite them over to discuss over wine!

A neighbour where we lived previously told us he planned to copy our (F&B Green Smoke) windows that I'd painstakingly painted - 20+ and several doors over three storeys - and I was really pissed off as (despite being detached houses) I didn't want them to look as though the same people owned both. In the end he went for boring white.

At our new location we decided to paint our front door blue and in the intervening nine months several other neighbours have chosen a similar colour. I plan to change ours next year 😉

HelpMeGetThrough · 07/10/2025 12:00

Just conveniently forget to reply.

MagpiePi · 07/10/2025 12:03

LibertyLily · 07/10/2025 11:58

I don't think you're being silly @tomtom88!

Yes, it's flattering, but I wouldn't like that either and the last thing I'd do would invite them over to discuss over wine!

A neighbour where we lived previously told us he planned to copy our (F&B Green Smoke) windows that I'd painstakingly painted - 20+ and several doors over three storeys - and I was really pissed off as (despite being detached houses) I didn't want them to look as though the same people owned both. In the end he went for boring white.

At our new location we decided to paint our front door blue and in the intervening nine months several other neighbours have chosen a similar colour. I plan to change ours next year 😉

Edited

How odd!

Did you think that you were being totally original using commercially available paint colours?

CuckooPond · 07/10/2025 12:04

isthesolution · 07/10/2025 11:56

awww fantastic. We had our designs done by <name company> and their contact details are -

Yes, that’s perfectly likely to be all that’s involved. Or you can ensure it is by saying that the designer/architect you used will be able to answer all questions.

And they may be using photos of your house anyway, if you’ve given them permission. Our kitchen designer has endless photos of work done for previous clients who’ve agreed to let him photograph the finished room, but which are only used if you go to his showroom for a consult.

Mum2twoandacockapoo · 07/10/2025 12:05

LibertyLily · 07/10/2025 11:58

I don't think you're being silly @tomtom88!

Yes, it's flattering, but I wouldn't like that either and the last thing I'd do would invite them over to discuss over wine!

A neighbour where we lived previously told us he planned to copy our (F&B Green Smoke) windows that I'd painstakingly painted - 20+ and several doors over three storeys - and I was really pissed off as (despite being detached houses) I didn't want them to look as though the same people owned both. In the end he went for boring white.

At our new location we decided to paint our front door blue and in the intervening nine months several other neighbours have chosen a similar colour. I plan to change ours next year 😉

Edited

This would also be my worry that they would copy my ideas and it would look like we had designed our houses together . Maybe tell them some of the things you’ve done you regret coz they are hard to clean or they are easILY damaged haha

Nandina · 07/10/2025 12:10

But they can't know what you've done inside so they can't want to copy that?

Presumably they can only see that you had an attic converted/extension done or windows replaced etc. If you want to brush them off, just tell them X company did the attic or whatever.

Original poster
tomtom88 · 07/10/2025 12:10

Thanks all. Its is mainly my natural introvert coming out. I can see others points of view though - so can see it both ways. It seems a bit forward to me but only perhaps because I don't think the same way!

The way the message was worded just gave me the impression (possibly wrongly) that they maybe wanted to copy various things and maybe expected me to give them advice/answers which I don't want to be getting involved in. Happy to recommend the builder or whatever but the specifics are really for the individual to decide imo.

OP posts:
MrsMoastyToasty · 07/10/2025 12:10

If it involves extending the property then the plans are going to be on the local council's planning public page. Suggest that they look there.

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