Neighbour wants to copy our renovation style

[tomtom88]

Hello
Firstly I want to acknowledge everyone copies and takes inspiration from the look of other houses - me included.

However a neighbour has contacted me via whatsapp (don't know them never met them) to say they were planning to do some work to their house "along the lines of ours and had lots of questions could we find a time to talk them through"

Now while I appreciate everyone copies and takes inspiration from others myself included no way on earth would i have made direct contact with someone whose house i liked and demanded they answer my questions! I would have looked at a house and just thought how can I apply this to my home.

I really don't want to get involved with their questions - am i being silly?

Well if you don’t know them it’s clearly external work. And doing it similar would be strongly recommended if this houses are similar and close to each other, otherwise it can look odd.

unless you really do have crippling anxiety or some anti social tendencies, just invite them round and explain the process, the builder etc and recommend them. If you’ve got issues, then if you have a partner who lives there and he is ok talking to people. Then just ask him or her if they’d be willing to have a chat, and suggest he or she pops round to them,

Who would be comparing both houses and drawing this judgement though? Would their opinion matter? If it’s a group of houses essentially to the same design, they will anyway have been designed together.

I think there’s more for OP to win than to lose here. I am a massive introvert but get on well with many neighbours and have them round several times a month. You may find that this the start of a relationship that enriches your life or at least gives you someone to water your plants when you’re on holiday

I agree with you OP, I think it's a cheek. I would loathe to have a complete stranger poking around my house, let alone ask them for a drink, I might dislike them! You managed to get your work done without looking at neighbours' houses so they can too.
I think your mistake was joining a street WhatsApp( presumably you did this). Fortunately in my street there isn't such a thing, I've lived next door to my neighbours for 30 years and don't have their phone number, we have brief chats but that's it, how I like it.
You could reply along the lines of offering your contractors name, you're very busy so don't have time and because their needs and wants are likely to be very different to yours it wouldn't serve much purpose. They'll get the message but it's friendlier than just ignoring which of course is the other option and probably the one I'd take.

You’re over thinking it. Just say

Hi Alan,

Thanks for noticing our renovation. We used Brown & Co architects and Boggis builders. They will be able to best advise you, good luck!

Tomtom88

At no point has the op said the neighbour asked to come into her home. The renovations are clearly external that is being referred ro and a response would be sure i can pop round at x time if you fancy, if real issues in inviting a neighbour into your home.

But the neighbour hasn't suggested coming over for a drink or being allowed to see inside the house. The OP is perfectly at liberty to say what @SumUp has suggested, and make it plain they don't have time/wish for a barrage of questions.

"Thank you for approaching me with this business oportunity. I have never considered doing project management /consultation commercially. Let me know if you would like me to quote a price. However it would not be a cheap option."

My usual response to cheeky neighbour requests is to offer to think it over and give them a price. I find that an excellent conversation stopper because these takers are after a freebee.

There’s a neighbour I don’t know who has had a lot of work done. When the time is right for me to have work done I was thinking of approaching them. My bad 🤦‍♀️😱

When I did my extension not only did I get people asking about it, but the contractor and architect also invited a lot of people around to view it so they could understand the scale. It’s normal.

The suitable response would be you’re welcome to pop round and take a look but I probably won’t be able to help you with any technical info here’s my contractor’s number.

Dear god, @Friendlygingercat they aren't after a freebie! They are hardly asking the OP to do the digging and brickwork for them.

I text our neighbour to see if she knows a good electrician. She texts me to see if I can bring her bins in if she's away. Must make sure to keep a close account on how many steps I took and how many seconds it was.

I wouldn’t necessarily ‘strongly recommend’ anyone

Id say ‘we had no problems, for us it all went well’

What if things go wrong for your neighbour and they blame it on the builder. They could blame you for your strongly recommended comment

I’m going to put this thread in the pile along with the elderly man that says hello to passers by and the school gate mum trying to be friendly with another mum.

Remember people never make eye contact, never smile, never interact with anyone you haven’t grown up with and for the love of god never open your front door.

wow, I hope you never need to borrow a cup of sugar or a lawnmower!
'Thank you for approaching me with this business opportunity' 😁

they probably only want to know whether OP needed planning permission and if they would recommend their builder!

It's fine if OP only wants to give a basic response and not get too involved but some of the answers on this thread are nuts! I bet the same people would be the first to moan about people being unfriendly/closed off these days or when someone doesn't help them!

It's insane to me how some people volunteer to give hours of their time every day freely caring for others in various ways, while others would begrudge a neighbour a 5 minute chat.

Of course if the neighbour started making demands or being too needy OP would then have the right to complain or escalate it but none of that has happened!

It’s an interesting social comment on how people strive for individuality, for being unique / special / the first and only and how that leads to a break down in cohesion and sharing and learning and community.

fwiw our neighbours invited everyone around for a bbq when they’d finished to thank everyone for putting up with their renovations. Now when they go away my son earns some pocket money feeding their cat, I gave them some seedlings from my garden. We’re not friends, I don’t want to know them on that level but we’re good neighbours. We watch out for each other. We do each other small favours and nice gestures that improve both our lives.

they proudly showed off their work, their kitchen is lovely, not to my taste, a bit blingy but how they managed to squeeze in a utility by taking a bit from the hall was brilliant and not something I’d have thought of. My copying that doesn’t diminish their specialness or success as humans. No one except me would care or give it a second thought.

How very odd.

We do this all the time in our estate. Half of us have been slowly copying one person’s windows as it worked out so well for her. Ours go in next month 🤣

Why don’t you share the builders name and say that you give permission for the builder to share any photographs or information on the work that they did. Could they be wanting to save money on designs do you think?

I'm not sure I'd assume they want to copy yours, as it is highly unlikely you've done something unusual. More likely that they're thinking of getting a wrap-around extension to the rear, and you've just done one, so they wanted to talk over the pitfalls and recommended contractors etc.

Unless you're going to tell us you both have 14th-century chapels and you've painted yours pink and have seen her painting pink swatches on hers.

I'd forgotten the unfortunate man who said hello to passersby and was regarded as a deeply sinister figure!

You’re way overthinking it. I’d just reply something along the lines of ‘Thanks we’re really pleased with it. We used ABC architects and XYZ builders who were fab. Let me know if you’d like me to send their details.’

I have to say that on here, the threads that scream about their friend or their SIL 'copying' them always turn out to be a matter of entirely ordinary decisions, such that huge chunks of the populations could be viewed as 'copying' them.

It's like 'I called my child Olivia, bought a pair of Mango trousers and put in plantation shutters -- and she's DONE EXACTLY THE SAME THING! WHICH RUINS MY SPECIAL INDIVIDUALITY!!!'

Blimey. And how much are you charging for offering your opinion on this thread?

Doesn’t sound they have demanded anything, they asked you if you have any time to talk, that’s certainly not demanding. If you don’t have the time or don’t want to then say no

They have the same floor plan and style of house they’re probably just after some ideas and cost estimates. I don’t understand why you’re being so awkward, it’s a quick coffee and chat. They’re not going to ask you to pay for the work or come supervise their building.