Neighbour wants to copy our renovation style

[tomtom88]

Hello
Firstly I want to acknowledge everyone copies and takes inspiration from the look of other houses - me included.

However a neighbour has contacted me via whatsapp (don't know them never met them) to say they were planning to do some work to their house "along the lines of ours and had lots of questions could we find a time to talk them through"

Now while I appreciate everyone copies and takes inspiration from others myself included no way on earth would i have made direct contact with someone whose house i liked and demanded they answer my questions! I would have looked at a house and just thought how can I apply this to my home.

I really don't want to get involved with their questions - am i being silly?

We asked our neighbours if they were happy with people who did their roof (they were) so we got the same company. Then about 4 other houses nearby used the same company. Tbf I dont especially like the colour of our roof tiles and didnt choose them, but they were unable to get the colour we wanted and suggested them as an alternative. Everyone else got a better colour! 🤣

We have recommended someone for windows, but taken others recommendations for builders and plumbers.
Like pp have said, just give info you're comfortable with sharing over whatsapp - who you used, what you liked about them/their work, whether they were punctual, how long it took etc.

Why do you assume they want to copy your design choices? It could be that they want to know things like did you need planning permission, did you need a party wall agreement, how did you find it living in the house during renovations etc etc.

At least find out what their questions actually are before jumping to any conclusions!

I’d actually put good money the poster has never actually done this. Gotta love internet hyperbole when it goes too far. 😂

I’d not be cross at all and share and tips I may have

We are looking at extending and are currently meeting architects.
I checked the planning permission documents on the council website relating to two renovated homes in the street, as I like what the architect has done and wanted to find who it was.

We are meeting with a few architects and if we choose one who has worked in our street I might knock on the door and ask the owner how they got on with the architect/would they reccommend.

I wouldn’t invite them over but would answer questions on WhatsApp. Hopefully they’ll be brief and not demand too much of your time.

@tomtom88

How would someone you don’t know, and have never met, (as you say in your first post), know your number?

I would give them the details of the contractor. If they wanted a couple of other basic details, like the shade of paint, I'd supply those. But I wouldn't set aside time to answer 'lots of questions' about the whole renovation with someone I have never met. (If it was a neighbour I knew and liked, then yes.)

I too am very introverted, so from that point of view I understand your reluctance. But I definitely wouldn’t be upset that they wanted to copy my style (by the way, that would never happen🤣) I would, however, probably try to overcome my social awkwardness and give them a few pointers. It’s a lovely compliment.

Oh God.. I'd hate this too OP! I am very introverted (depending on who the people are) I keep myself to myself, I'm possibly Autistic, as I've suspected it for a while and my son has recently been diagnosed.
I'd be feeling really anxious and worried that they'd come around and knock on the door!
The thought of anyone coming to the house and God forbid, wanting to come in.. and having to speak to them too, would fill me with horror. I can totally understand how you feel.

Say if pushed that you would charge for your time and knowledge but you would not really do ''copies''~ especially so near to the original - your own property.(?!)

Genuinely astonished by some of these responses. Presumably you’ve had some sort of extension or conversion, the neighbour has seen and would like to ask general questions about how you went about it, and it would be a 5-10 minute conversation? How is any of this an issue? It’s just normal helpful neighbour interaction.

Forestwanderer - you are me!

Honestly that’s hysterical 😂😂😂😂😂😂

It’s a conversation stopper because it’s so far outside the realm of normal interaction. Of course they back off and never talk to you again.

What time and knowledge does the client of a builder have that people would pay for? The neighbour is looking for chit-chat on the level of how many weeks it took, whether you could keep living there or whether you had to move out, whether you were without running water and if so for how long. This is normal stuff to share with others, not intellectual property that you can sell.

Yes, it's not because it's some kind of witty 'gotcha', it because it makes you look like a total loon.

Why not just ask those basic questions on WhatsApp then.

None of that’s intrusive

That doesn't sound like a demand.

Because in the real world many people are happy to chat to one another.

Exactly! Most people aren’t averse to talking to aquaintances or even strangers. A lot of people find it quicker to talk face to face and would hate to be involved in a lengthy complicated text exchange when they could just talk in person for a few minutes. As it’s a discussion about a physical thing, it might be quicker to point than to describe. But OP can offer Whatsapp instead if it is easier for her.

This would have been me when I was suffering from terrible anxiety.

No judgement here.

Op, would you cope better with a quick chat in person or texts? It might be easier to knock on her door and get it over with. If not, I would go for sounding helpful but busy and just pass on details and wish them luck.

You are within your rights to reply to that effect, but maybe you could give them the details of the company you used as they could consult with them without intruding on your privacy?

Many. Not all.

Ive read at least two people on here that find that idea very stressful

Not at all! I just thought - obviously erroneously - that other people would have their own ideas and wouldn't slavishly copy their neighbour's colour(s), especially when there's so much choice available.