Neighbour wants to copy our renovation style

[tomtom88]

Hello
Firstly I want to acknowledge everyone copies and takes inspiration from the look of other houses - me included.

However a neighbour has contacted me via whatsapp (don't know them never met them) to say they were planning to do some work to their house "along the lines of ours and had lots of questions could we find a time to talk them through"

Now while I appreciate everyone copies and takes inspiration from others myself included no way on earth would i have made direct contact with someone whose house i liked and demanded they answer my questions! I would have looked at a house and just thought how can I apply this to my home.

I really don't want to get involved with their questions - am i being silly?

She isn't demanding you answer your questions she is just asking for advice. It seems a perfectly natural thing to do. We did similar when we had a loft extension many years ago. We were encouraged to by the builder.
It was something most people did then . I do think there seems to be a much less friendly attitude to people now

If you're happy to recommend your builder do that.

You don't have to talk to them but I also dont think it was unreasonable of them to ask

How do they have your WA details, are you in a street WA group?

As others have said, this doesn't seem like a demand

This is such a normal thing to do. We spoke to our neighbors, they told us which walls were supporting walls, how they dealt with a peculiar situation with ceiling heights that our houses have, how they resolved an issue with a particular window / door situation.

we thanked them, benefited from their learnings and everyone came away happy. We bought them a bottle of wine and used some of the suppliers they’d recommended. Some things we did differently as their needs and ours were different.

How does anyone learn anything if everyone is so closed off 😵‍💫

Yes I totally agree, OP isn't very clear if they are actually wanting to copy her paint choices and decorating style or if it's more structural/building. I live in a row of almost identical terraced houses and neighbours/tradesman have often popped in and out to see where others have located their boiler or run the piping.

Well we all know how difficult it is to get reliable builders & contractors so they might simply want to ask if you could recommend one? It’s a compliment as the quality of your overall project must be making them want something to a similar standard. I guess they could have simply asked you up front though. It’s possible they have other questions like how you found local planning or any other factors. We’re always told to research & ask to see things & evidence of builders’ work beforehand etc etc & it’s such an outlay nobody wants to get it wrong. So they might be just a bit literal about it & earnest. That’s my take on it. Tho if were me I would hate it as like you OP, why shld I share details about my personal space & home with total strangers?! Keep us updated what you do!

Did you do it yourself or use contractors? You could pass on contractor info maybe?

It used to be called being neighbourly didn't it?

I can understand people having crippling anxiety and not wanting to talk to people that they don't know - but given this was done over WhatsApp it's very easy to politely decline if it really is excruciating for a person.

We did this, and then had someone asked us for advice. It wasn’t weird at all. Someone on our road did a lovely double storey extension. We went round to look at it from inside over a glass of wine, one evening. We then had someone who we knew on our road who came to see how ours had turned out. We shared our old plans with them as our houses were identical and gave them the number of the builders we used.

Or you cld completely take the mick & agree then act like you’re actually in an episode of Love or List it & be like “the new layout’s made such a difference to our lives it’s unimaginable how we ever managed before we got the island in the kitchen & knocking through has meant that my husband no longer wants to leave me & I got promoted to the job of my dreams. The extension’s done wonders for our sex life & it’s impossible to believe we ever lived in it before. Come upstairs we’ll show you 🤣

Yes we used a contractor which i am happy to recommend. Its more that it was phrased as "we like to do it in the same style as yours" which made me think perhaps they could start ask questions of me as an individual rather than say a generic recommendation.

As I say I am a weird introvert so ams having a bit of an anxiety uncomfortable type response that others would not have

Just tell them this.

Just list the details of people/companies you used in a message. Name of specific colours, finishes etc.
Be friendly but brief. You don't owe them your time.

Is the issue fundamentally that you don't want them to copy you because it will make your house look less individual?

We have always been irritated by neighbours and friends exactly replicating cosmetic and architectural changes we’ve made to our properties. It’s annoying having for example your external colour scheme copied precisely down to the very last surface by multiple neighbours. I’ve lost count of the number of friends who have exactly copied our designs for things like doors, windows and cupboards.

This. Even shy, introverted people (I include myself in that group) are capable of giving a brief outline of any problems they encountered, or things that worked well, or their builders' names. Are you more concerned about your renovation not being pereceived by others as unique for some reason?

We had been round to a couple of neighbours houses looking at their extensions before doing ours. They were quite proud of how nice it was and happy to show and recommend their builders. But if they had said no, that would have been fine too.

It is quite personal - being in your kitchen or wherever and looking in the cabinets etc. So if you are not comfortable it's ok to refuse.

You can send them your builders details if you are happy to recommend.

Depends what it is they want to emulate, if I had spent ££££££ on say a bespoke oak framed porch or extension and they wanted to copy it exactly I would be a bit miffed and probably be unavailable! if it’s just advice on a general extension I don’t see the problem.

In my street, one person had their window done in pvc (the wooden ones were rotten on all the houses and, but weren't bog standard rectangles, they had bits on) and then about 6 more neighbouring houses had the same work done. All houses look nice, all good.

OP there is no problem. You should be pleased that a neighbouring house will be looking in keeping with yours - well kept and in the same style. Just give them the contractor's info and say what you had done.

Goodness this is a bit extreme, and it’s went from along the lines of to the same as, if it’s building work it is good if it is similar, as it means the houses look cohesive, and I am not sure they demanded or deciding they demanded can be explained by being an introvert

I also would invite them round for a glass of wine and discuss it.

What’s the issue be nice? You get to meet new people! It’s a compliment

or you just picked a really common style. I find it a little bewildering scores of people are copying you to this extent. Almost unbelievable. Unless it’s just ubiquitous stuff.

Yea I have already said I am happy to give the builder name and strongly recommend them - I need to go away and think what is the best response for me to give

You can just say you’re happy to give them your contractor details and a floor plan of what you had done if you don’t want them popping over for a nose

I would just text back happy to recommend…. X who did the work on our place. There is a chance they will copy but that should be sufficient to stop them asking you about every little detail :)