If your children have moved out in the SE. HOW?!!

[Sofa1000]

I don’t mean gone to university. Or even house sharing. If you have adult children who have managed to move into their own proper adult place how did they do it?

My three are 22-25. Earning between 28-42k. London commuter town. A 1 bed flat in this town is around 300k to buy and 1200 to rent. Anywhere further out and commuting costs make monthly outgoings much the same. One WFH almost completely. One works in our town. One commutes to Zone 4. All their friends/ girlfriends/boyfriends are local.

They would love to be able to move out one day and before 30 (ideally earlier) and I would like to be able to retire and move. When did yours manage it and how? Did they need financial help? Did they have to be in a couple? Did they move out of the SE? At the moment it feels as though the gap is too big and there’s no point even saving and working so hard.

Friends whose children have moved out have all helped them and I just don’t have tens of thousands each to spare them. Even five times their salaries doesn’t get a flat. Are they with me forever?

Mine are in a house share.

Just like me and a lot of my friends were at their age.

Both of mine moved out mid-late twenties and stayed very local. (Essex) Both now own 3-4 bed semis, one rented for a couple of years first, the other (younger, so prices had gone up further) one stayed at home a bit longer to save up
Both earn within the range you specified but neither could have moved out without being part of a couple splitting the bills. Both had a sizeable deposit saved partly by them, given partly by us

@Octavia64 Thanks but that’s not really the adult moving out I meant. They can afford 1000 each for a room and share of bills but are hanging around to save for a longer term solution. I guess I mean move out without needing to share.

If they're living at home and earning 28-42k then they should presumably be able to save at least a grand a month? Are they managing that? That'll be a good deposit in a couple of years' time.

But yes it's being in a couple that makes the real difference. I don't know many single people under 30 who've managed to buy, sadly (the ones I do know are in the north!). But if you are a couple who earn 40k each and have managed to save a 10k+ deposit each by living at home for a bit, a 300k flat is easily within reach.

@Undisclosedlocation Thanks. That’s impressive. I think Essex may be cheaper (am Surrey but not a fancy part). Maybe coupling up is literally the only way.

But why have expectations changed? I lived in house shares until my late twenties, then rented with my then boyfriend and didn't buy a flat until I was 30. I was still living independently and considered myself "moved out" as an adult.

My husband (not the boyfriend I first bought with) lived in house shares until he bought a house at 28.

This was in the late 90s (and was normal for everyone I knew), so why isn't this good enough for our offspring now?

Yes they save at least £1000. They were chatting yesterday and saying it seems so pointless saving so hard when it’s such a tiny fraction of what they’ll need.

Probably a bit cheaper yes - but both bought at the £375,000 mark so it’s deffo doable

I moved out at 21, but into a London flatshare. So did literally everyone I knew (who didn’t stay at home or move somewhere for a post grad degree). I can’t think of anyone who rented their own place as a single person younger than about 30. I think what you’re asking OP is unrealistic. Young adults in or near London generally live at home, flatshare or couple up.

My brother and I both bought houses with partners in late 20s in Sussex
Both never rented and were able to live rent free after uni with parents (apart from my DH who lived in a house share) so could save which helped a lot. Neither us or partners are really high earners (maybe all slightly above average)
We live in nice areas too so haven't gone for the cheapest areas if that makes sense!
I think just being really strict and scrimping and saving what you can and obviously buying with someone else...wouldn't have been able to afford own property!

One moved away to afford it and one has a partner who earns very well for his age. It's not easy at all for them these days.

But you had the expectation that you could then do so. Which made it worth making the sacrifices. I am mid 40s and (because we stayed in education until our late 20s) DH and I had to be earning well above national average (we were on £140k gross between us) AND inherit a smallish sum to make buying a family home possible in our early 30s. No amount of beams on toast in a bed sit would have saved us that £80k deposit if we’d been on lower wages. And house prices here have gone up 40% since then.

Thanks all. Most are talking about how they managed it many years ago though. I did too. Worked my way up the ladder on a Civil Service salary. I know things have changed and they can’t aspire to the 2 bed terrace I bought with my ex as our first purchase at 25/28 but I could have bought a 1 bed flat in my own at that time.
One of them (the eldest) works in a place that has an office in Manchester so she’s thinking of trying to transfer but doesn’t want to leave family and friends.

I don't think buying or renting on your own is that realistic.

Young adults that I know house share, or move in with a boyfriend or girlfriend, get a deposit from parents. Actually another option which can work well is buying with siblings. I know a few people who bought their first place with their sibling, shared for a few years until one of them moved out with a partner.

If you plan to retire and move, would that release anything for a house deposit?

My 25yo dd lives in Cambridge- she affords rent on a fairly decent place because she lives with her BF, they're both engineers so on ok but not huge salaries for their age. If she was alone she'd probably be in some sort of house share or HMO still.

No idea when/if they'll be able to buy if they stay in that area.

@DelurkingAJ was your family home your first owned property? We bought small for our first in order to be able to make that jump. Small-ish mortgage. Been here 5 years and hoping to make the next jump soon! Dreaming of a private garden 😂.

OP, not sure where you are in Surrey, but some neighbouring counties may be cheaper?
We are in West Sussex - had moved out to rent in 2015 for a couple of years (in Surrey) and then back in with parents to save, before buying a 2 bed flat, for well under 300k!

Rented rooms in shared houses, as did I at that age.

What's wrong with sharing? Thats what my DS in London plans to do.

It’s the single person v couple conundrum I think OP. It’s almost the same expense on half the money
if it gives you any encouragement at all, the second of mine only bought 3 months ago, with all the associated horribly high current interest rates

Not really, I wasn't thinking about buying at all, I only considered it because our landlords were selling up.

I do think house prices are ridiculous, but they are so high partly because we're propping them up by making it possible for our children to stay at home until they have saved up (or been given or left) the required huge deposits. If people couldn't afford to buy at these prices they wouldn't be able to stay this high. It just keeps widening the chasm between the haves and the have nots.

Both of mine have over the last 3 to 5 years , both in a couple , both bought 3 bed houses . But all four of them saved like crazy , helped by the fact we didn’t charge them rent at all so they could save the most . Added to that we started savings accounts for both of them when they were born and had 20 plus years of saving to help with their deposits , not a huge amount but every little helps .
A friends daughters have just bought a flat between them , it’s hard alone though , another friend whose daughter has bought a flat alone frequently helps with food shops etc to see her by .

Dh and I moved in with his mum as newly weds aged 23 and 26 (didn't have jobs yet as we were living in Europe) We left when we were 26 and 29. This is in London.

We saved 20k per year and had 70k in savings when we bought a 2 bed flat in London zone 3 (3 miles from MIL) on 75k combined income. Interest rates were 2%. That was 5 years ago. We still live in that flat and are expecting.

Dh's 2 other sisters moved abroad and after years of living independently, they are now living with their inlaws (one has a child but her MIL has a 5 bed house so plenty has a space). So they could find someone richer or with supportive parents.

I think their expectations are very optimistic!! I don’t know anyone who bought before 30. We all flatshared or lived with partners. Bought a small flat and then upgraded later. At least half of my friends bought on their own, they did shared ownership on flats in Z2/3 and gradually bought it out. £1000 a month is loads to save, why don’t they think it’s worth it? In 2.5yrs they’ll have a deposit!!

Ok not London but Bristol which isn't cheap either, mine moved out with partners but both have 2 bed flats rented by mid 20's and have 10% deposits ready to buy but are sensibly renting together first time check everything is ok! They earn similar to op's dc and so do their dp's.

Personally I think its worth it to work hard for a shared flat, and luckily for me DC agree.