If your children have moved out in the SE. HOW?!!

[Sofa1000]

I don’t mean gone to university. Or even house sharing. If you have adult children who have managed to move into their own proper adult place how did they do it?

My three are 22-25. Earning between 28-42k. London commuter town. A 1 bed flat in this town is around 300k to buy and 1200 to rent. Anywhere further out and commuting costs make monthly outgoings much the same. One WFH almost completely. One works in our town. One commutes to Zone 4. All their friends/ girlfriends/boyfriends are local.

They would love to be able to move out one day and before 30 (ideally earlier) and I would like to be able to retire and move. When did yours manage it and how? Did they need financial help? Did they have to be in a couple? Did they move out of the SE? At the moment it feels as though the gap is too big and there’s no point even saving and working so hard.

Friends whose children have moved out have all helped them and I just don’t have tens of thousands each to spare them. Even five times their salaries doesn’t get a flat. Are they with me forever?

My DC have inherited ( sadly) enough for deposits and have benefited from staying with parents and saving to get started. The same applies to their peers unless they are coupled up AND well paid .

I don't know anyone who bought a house in their twenties.

Everyone I know, bought a house in their thirties.

You have to even realistic.

What I have noticed these days is parents can't win:
If you let your kids live at home without paying rent you are a privileged boomer. Not everyone can, you know.
If you make them pay rent, you are a privileged boomer who doesnt realise how hard kids have it.
If you buy them a house you are a privileged boomer. Not everyone can, you know.
If you make them move out into a house share you are a priviliged boomer who doesnt realise how hard kids have it.
Apparently the only decent thing to do is die!

I'm in my early 40s, grew up in a home county. All of my friends who bought in their 20s did so because they were buying as a couple and at least one of them (and usually both)received cash from family/inheritance. My DP and I didn't buy until we were 39 as we needed to pay rent and save for a deposit. Those friends who bought 20 years before us ask when we will upsize.........

Makes you think differently about the AD bill doesn’t it.

I'm gen X only just missing being a Millennial by few years.

My siblings are single but stayed where we grew up but our bit of midlands they are priced out of house buying and are lucky to be in HA housing. Even we'd struggle so what we did was find affordable areas and match with job moves though areas prices have gone up since so some luck there still.

Even our boomer parents are aware of high rents and house prices - though they aren't always keen on new estates being built near them but can't believe the prices of new houses at same time or how people afford them.

It is a problem - and our kids may well struggle to leave home as quickly as we did because of it - though they are lucky we have nearby cities that may offer them work opportunities as actual town not so great for that.

I disagree re cost effectiveness.
A pp mentioned prices in Hertfordshire.

Looking at Watford a place I know well and one that’s changed massively in terms of prices due to proximity to London.
However
A terraced house, 3 bedrms first fl, one bedroom grd fl so 4 renters in a house share @ average cost £1400 pcm plus bills for the house ( average as I was looking for my cousins a month back )
Thats £350pcm pp plus bills

A full time worker on minimum wage age 21 has a take home of £1542pcm ( not including any uni costs )

£1542 - £350 = £1192 pcm left and that’s based on minimum wage @£11:44 per hour.

I know some people who rented from a young age and then bought later with their partners. I know another who worked their way up the ladder from flat to starter home to three bed etc. My cousin lived with her parents until she was 30 and had saved enough money to buy alongside her husband at that stage and start her family.

@Babyname2025 For sure there are more high paying jobs in London than elsewhere in the country, but only a relatively small percentage of people will get those.
I think the average salary for London is something like £45k? On that salary you won't get much in London but in other parts of the country a 3 bed detached house (for example) would be within reach, especially if there are two of you earning that.
From what the Op is saying, it doesn't sound like either she or her kids are on big money. In that situation, the SE really isn't good value for money IMO.

I know siblings that bought their first property together and effectively house shared but with a mortgage rather than rent.

When they got into long term relationships and wanted to live with their partners they sold and bought their own places.

I'd expect them to move out to a house/flat share initially tbh. That's what I did in my early 20s and that's what everyone else I know did. Then you start to earn more, perhaps find a partner and move in together, then buy. Yes I know it is harder now, but it wasn't even realistic to live on your own in London in your 20s back in the 1990s!

Of course, staying at home and saving hard for a deposit is an alternative plan. And that is pretty tough in London/SE and tougher now than it was then.

I disagree a salary of £45 k will get you a property
A quick all London search on rightmove at a max price of £125k picks up potential properties.
They very much exist
random page below

I was in a cheap house share (Whitechapel), until I met my partner and we moved in together at 30, still renting. We saved hard and bought together at 33. We had good help from parents (£25k mine, £10k his) but the vast bulk came from
yrs and yrs of saving…

@StandingSideBySide Are these shared ownership though? Seems impossibly low priced for full ownership in London.

It's normal to house share in early 20s. That's what most young adults do in all parts of the country, and have done for decades. Nothing to do with being in the SE. It's either that, live with a partner, or live with parents.

Longer term, if they want to stay in an expensive area then they either need to work their way up the career ladder and earn it - or move somewhere cheaper. There isn't a magic solution unless they are able to buy with a partner.

It's worse in London and made even more difficult if you're single. You need 2 incomes.

My friend in the SE DS rents a 2 bed flat by himself. He does marketing and business support ideas for at least a couple of businesses as a contractor.

Also agree with this. Average age of a first time buyer is about 34.

It's ridiculous and unrealistic to expect people in their early 20s to be buying a house. Especially in an expensive part of the country. Takes years to save up unless gifted money.

I know as a proportion of income it’s much harder now but I lived in a few house shares and had a great time. One was in one of the worst post codes in the country in inner city Birmingham.

@MidnightMeltdown Is it? I bought at 27, friend bought at 25, lots of other friends bought in their 20s too. This was less than 10 years ago. Not all were gifted money. It's perfectly reasonable for people to want their own space and some stability from mid 20s onwards, at that age they're fully grown adults who might be thinking about starting families. It's sad that people have been brainwashed into accepting that it's normal to rent in a houseshare until their 30s and even beyond.

Of course it's reasonable for people in their early 20s to WANT to buy a home, but it's not reality, and it hasn't been for at least a couple of decades.

The average age of a first time buyer is 34. In London it's 36 years and 8 months.

I'm a millennial and I don't know anybody who bought a property in their 20s without significant help from parents. Everyone was in their 30s when they eventually bought.

I’m 40 so not very recently but I rented from when I left uni (in London) and then bought with my BF (in London) at about 35. It was only when I got to 30 and was earning well and sharing with my Bf who was also earning a good salary that I was able to save. I could have lived at home (commuter town) but I wouldn’t have dreamed of it, I wanted to live independently and I wanted to be in the city.

There was a shared ownership one above the page I posted.
However no, the ones I posted aren’t and many many aren’t.

It's definitely a UK wide problem. I live in the NW so I know more than someone who has a few peers in the north.

Honestly we were on 75k combined (in 2019) when we bought. We bought a 2 bed flat in zone 3 nw london with a 15% deposit and we overpaid and now have nearly 40% equity. It's not shared ownership, residents own the freehold and 1930s flat. Dh can cycle to work. We don't need a car.. I am now expecting and I feel grateful that we only have a mortgage of 1282 quid which is easily covered by DH's 75k salary (has increased), as well as no car loans to pay for..we would probably move to a bigger flat in a less expensive part of finchley when baby is no longer in the childcare years.