If your children have moved out in the SE. HOW?!!

[Sofa1000]

I don’t mean gone to university. Or even house sharing. If you have adult children who have managed to move into their own proper adult place how did they do it?

My three are 22-25. Earning between 28-42k. London commuter town. A 1 bed flat in this town is around 300k to buy and 1200 to rent. Anywhere further out and commuting costs make monthly outgoings much the same. One WFH almost completely. One works in our town. One commutes to Zone 4. All their friends/ girlfriends/boyfriends are local.

They would love to be able to move out one day and before 30 (ideally earlier) and I would like to be able to retire and move. When did yours manage it and how? Did they need financial help? Did they have to be in a couple? Did they move out of the SE? At the moment it feels as though the gap is too big and there’s no point even saving and working so hard.

Friends whose children have moved out have all helped them and I just don’t have tens of thousands each to spare them. Even five times their salaries doesn’t get a flat. Are they with me forever?

I don't know about London but I've noticed houses in the West Midlands are shooting up in value again after a couple of years of only going up a little bit each year. My DS bought a house a little under 2 years ago and paid £175k the house next door to him is just sold and he was told new neighbours paid £193k. Why can't your DC rent a house or buy together?

Even in 2016 to 2019 people made fun of me for living with in laws at 26 and in London too. I don't think that's the case today. People aren't even surprised about 30 somethings living at home (including with kids) and not just in London either.

Siblings could buy together - but if one wants to move in with a partner or change job location in a couple of years, chances are they will have to sell as the mortgage company wouldn’t accept one salary leaving the mortgage. And then both will have used their first time buyer stamp duty discount (I think)

we've kind of trapped ourselves here as we are paying a premium for a nice area and the schools are good.

I am sorry that you are financially trapped by shared ownership but I am relieved that you are trapped in a nice area with good schools - others are not so fortunate. My sister got trapped in negative equity, high mortgage repayments and her DH lost his job. Only way through was her Mum buying food for her and her DCs. 15 loooooong years on they are now not in negative equity, husband working (much lower pay) and kids raised. There were many many years when she just wanted to escape and hand back the keys.

Would you mind saying roughly where in London?

What we need to do is eradicate the vermin that is known as the ‘landlord.’

Repossession of all BTL/ 2nd homes by local councils. If I was Housing Minster I’d sort this out in 2 months.

Under what law would you confiscate property?

By passing an Act of Parliament.

Surely most people buy as part of a couple? Why are they /you thinking it's awful they won't be able to buy on their own? Don't they think they'll meet a long term partner in the next few years?

Presumably by the time they're late 20s they'll have saved £1000 a month for the last five years - so a deposit of £60k. If they earn say £40k, and have a partner earning a similar amount, that will get them a mortgage of £400k, plus the £60k saved - that's a great budget for a 2 bed starter place.

My DS and his girlfriend were both 21 when they bought their place (2bed flat in a commuter town in SE)
How? A mixture of saving - DS went to uni but his GF worked from 18.
Both had decent jobs with good opportunities for Overtime
They didn't give up going on holidays

When DS went to Uni I advised doing a course would lead to a job not like my degree in drama / film and television studies

What happens if the couple split? Are they back into sharing a house/flat with randoms?

My eldest bought a house at 23 with his partner (now wife). My mum gave him 10k as a deposit and he saved up approx 15k whilst at uni and for the first year after graduating (he moved back home for a year). They were on approx 50k and 32k then and bought a house for £245k. This was ten years ago and they have overpaid on the mortgage and it will be paid off by next year.

They live in the SE. It was much easier even ten years ago. Interest rates have been low until recently as well!

Some interesting experiences. Thanks for the posts. To those who ask why they can’t house share. They could. They do! With me and their siblings.
We get on great and they have a nicer home than if they shared what they could afford around here. There are four of us in a 3 bed house though so we have to use the living room as a bedroom.
There are lots of flats being built in the town but they seem to go to investors or overseas buyers. Anecdotally I know someone who moved in to one a year ago and they are all sold but he says hardly anyone is living there. It’s weird. He has met his landing neighbours only once and it was a couple from Hong Kong who said they also lived elsewhere.
Just too many people for every property and too many who can buy more than one in cash. Fine. People can sell to whoever has the money but there seem to be so many factors that divorce property prices from average earnings.
I don’t know what answers I expected really. Solidarity to those of you with a bunch of grown adults with you until you can just die and leave them money to keep the whole show going!
No wonder the birth rate is plummeting.

Sharing with you is not a house share. Especially not if you are using your living room as a bedroom.
You asked how we in the SE manage it. By making them move out and share with strangers and suffer a bit!

Yes I was being deliberately disingenuous. Just seems little advantage in them sharing a grotty student house for 8-900 plus bills when they might as well stay here for a fraction of that. The houses like mine that are rented all use the 1st floor living room as a bedroom too. (Town house) The ground floor has a big kitchen diner.
Students are another huge population in the town.

Are you sure you would get elected with that in your manifesto?

Some of the best days of my life were house-sharing with friends. Sure, the accommodation was usually pretty crappy, and there’d be the occasional irritating house-mate, but ah, the parties, the staying up all night putting the world to rights, that time when Rob put washing up liquid in the dishwasher 😃

If you are happy as you are, then fine. I wouldn't be.

I’m in my 50s. When I was young and living in an expensive city, we had to put up with being in a house share. That is just life.

a rule of thumb is 40 times your income to rent. So to afford 1200 they need to make 48k. That is the same as 30% of gross income.

living at home, they should be saving that every month, less whatever they need to contribute to cover their expenses to the household. Or if you can subsidize them they can save it all.

so your child on 42k should be able to save a minimum of 12.6k a year and more if they are aggressive about it. Still quite a ways to go towards a first deposit, but absolutely manageable with the benefit of being able to save while living at home .

It shouldn't be the case that you can only move out if you have a partner though. Especially not in 2024. Not everyone wants the whole relationship thing and they don't always work out as the current UK divorce rates show. You shouldn't be at disadvantage for being single.

Again, it's also so frustrating to read posts acting like house shares are cheap, easy to get and a situation where you can save up to buy a property. Times are very different now but it seems again that this point is being ignored.

Few people buy in early or mid 20s in the south east these days. Many are still moving around a lot and not settled in a particular area or don’t know if they will be there in 3 years time.

I know single late 20s and 30s who have bought with a friend if they haven’t been in a couple. This has enabled them to get in the housing ladder and avoid the help to buy schemes. I think they’ve agreed to review in 3 years. Often what happens at some point is one or both get coupled up and then one. Ups out the other. As the property has hopefully risen in value and their salaries too, even if still single they are more able to buy alone than before.

I think historically, most people buying have been couples. Our parents would have got married and bought together. Those in 30s-50s probably lived at home/house shares/ rented with a partner before moving in with a partner. It has always been hard to buy alone with one income.

And this thing about feeling saving up is pointless….people have often felt this and decided to splash the cash in a big holiday and the regretted it. Saving seriously for several years is to be expected. Perhaps the kids have less tolerance for that now than in the past.

Id think anyone able to buy before 30 is doing extremely well in the SE these days…..unless they have substantial family help.

All of these needed:

1. saved a lot
2. waited until age 27-30, living at home rent free
3. moved 45mins away to one of the cheapest areas in our county (& yes pay £30 a day train fare into London)
4. gifts from parents/grandparents saved up over the years

I also agree that living in house shares with friends (before living alone or in a couple) is such a key part of young adult life. It’s a shame to miss out on that.

How about shared ownership, have they considered it? I know a few people who have gone down this route and it's not as taboo as made out to be

I'm in my 40s and in London. All of my friends, family and acquaintances are either in social housing (normal for middle class Londoners), living with parents in sectioned off basement or attic flats, in houseshares, boats, or inherited enough money for a deposit or a flat. Younger family (in their 30s) are living with parents in crowded flats. Most of my school friends moved abroad.