If your children have moved out in the SE. HOW?!!

[Sofa1000]

I don’t mean gone to university. Or even house sharing. If you have adult children who have managed to move into their own proper adult place how did they do it?

My three are 22-25. Earning between 28-42k. London commuter town. A 1 bed flat in this town is around 300k to buy and 1200 to rent. Anywhere further out and commuting costs make monthly outgoings much the same. One WFH almost completely. One works in our town. One commutes to Zone 4. All their friends/ girlfriends/boyfriends are local.

They would love to be able to move out one day and before 30 (ideally earlier) and I would like to be able to retire and move. When did yours manage it and how? Did they need financial help? Did they have to be in a couple? Did they move out of the SE? At the moment it feels as though the gap is too big and there’s no point even saving and working so hard.

Friends whose children have moved out have all helped them and I just don’t have tens of thousands each to spare them. Even five times their salaries doesn’t get a flat. Are they with me forever?

My son saved for 12 months to get his deposit. Wasn't on mega money, brought a 2 bed new build in the west Midlands. Has now sold that and brought 1 bed flat in London. It can be done, I agree it is hard, May take a while, sacrifices may be made...

I lived in a flat share in London until I was 33. That was 1999. I couldnt have afforded to buy until then, and I coukd only afford to buy with my boyfriend.

You can get a 2 bed flat in Epsom for 1400.

It's funny how times change. When I was early 20s - even late teens - I didn't know anyone who lived with parents. You moved out pretty much the second you were old enough, no matter what. It was all house-shares, usually various levels of being a health-hazard, but living with your parents was absolute social death.

Shared ownership is a good option, and as their earnings potential increases they can buy more shares, or they can sell and take any profit on their share.

I live in this area but am still at home at nearly 40.
Everyone I know who has done it has either had a big inheritance, a much wealthier partner or parents who have paid a large chunk of the deposit. I have none of those luxuries unfortunately.

I do wonder about one couple I know though. They earn about 30K between them and have their own 1 bed flat but I think it was cheap for the area like 180K.

Live at home and house share saving constantly until they buy. Also share one bed with partner.

Mmmm… but then this has bitten many people in the arse when a new manager comes in and wants people in the office 3 days a week or whatever

Also as a brown person I want to live im a diverse city.

I think.living in a health hazard iand with other people is an essential part of adulthood and I want my DC to experience it.

That one has the highest paying job and there’s no guarantee that the WFH is long term. In fact they are talking about 2 days (central London) in the near future. Plus his long term GF is local.

Both in London in expensive rentals. Both in professional jobs but both really seem to be paying most of their salary into rentals. We have had a bereavement and the only silver lining is that we will be able to
help them save for deposits. But you shouldn’t need someone to die to be able to do it.

Just to reiterate as well what others have said. In every thread like this there are always comments like 'Why can't they just slum it in a house share like I did?' The difference being, in previous years, you could do that AND save. Now as someone said upthread, you can't and are struggling to pay for just that flatshare which you will be stuck in for life. Not only that but a lot of shares have age limits and are highly competitive and sought after. All facts that people seem to ignore.

We are SE and it's a fucking joke.

We've scrimped and saved for a shared ownership property (a big one, but still) now scrimping and saving to get out of it.

Worked our arses off. Over time, weekends, picking up two jobs sometimes. We had kids in between as well.

Literally have never been more driven in our careers to make it happen. If we weren't coupled up we couldn't have done it either. No financial help and now we've kind of trapped ourselves here as we are paying a premium for a nice area and the schools are good.

My advice, before children, buy the smallest thing you can to get on the ladder and go from there. Don't do shared ownership.

I'm also in SE and have two DDs aged 23 and 25. Neither is coupled up at present and, although they have friends, they don't have anyone who wants to house share at present. I've no idea when they'll ever leave home at this rate.

House share

Sold family house, bought 3 other smaller properties outright for children and self with proceeds. They were 24 and 21 years old.

It’s also harder to pass rental checks these days, I think. If a LL can rent to a couple rather than a group of friends, they probably will as it’s less complicated.

Whats wrong with sharing at that age? Entirely normal. What do you think the thousands of new graduates who move to London each year do?

House shares are normal, OP. I don't know why you exclude them.

Of my nephews and nieces.....

Two qualified and got jobs abroad as new graduates. Worked abroad for a couple of years and then came home with their careers established and bought.

One moved into a one bed rented flat with her boyfriend.
One got a job with a charity that came with accommodation
Two were Oxbridge and had salaries that allowed them to buy immediately in the outer home counties. They didn't need any help.
One works for a govt agency in a rural area and can afford to rent on his own.

As a family, we are used to scouring second hand furniture shops. I've become a dab hand at painting chests of drawers and repurposing tables as desks.

I'm in the SE. Couldn't buy a house until 35, with a partner and a significant inheritance as a deposit.

No idea how my kids will manage it.

Two of mine have left home. They have been in various house shares. One was close to buying a part buy part rent but then lost his job. So is renting again, just two of them in a two bed in a less desirable but not bad part of Surrey.
The other is lodging near the South Coast and doesn't see the chance to buy anytime soon if ever.
But I don't think either earns as much as your dc do.

I bought a shitty flat in a fairly rough area when I was 26. Now I’m 56 and I’ll be selling it to help my kids get on the housing ladder. My friend’s children bought a flat together with parental support.

Agree. One of my colleagues paid £700 for her room in 2022 and now the landlord asked for £1100 from Jan 2025. She does save and is in general thrifty, but at this pace it will take her 10 years to save for a deposit for a 1bed IF the prices don't go up. The issue is that in 10 years she will probably want to start a family, so 1-bed won't do.

A former colleague of mine bought a place with her sister. With the 2 wages they could just about afford a 2 bedroom flat.

I house and flat shared from the age of 19 to 29 when I bought my own flat (as a single). This was the early 80s. If you moved out of your parents in your early/mid twenties then you house shared (unless you got married). I was properly moved out by 19 (which does seem young by todays standards).