Is it normal to settle for a home you don't like?

[Namedrop000]

We're FTBs. We've been patiently saving for many years for our first home. But there's just nothing on the market at the moment? The places we've seen fit none of our (pretty modest!) needs, and have been in terrible condition. We don't have the cash for big renovations.

We've been looking for about a year and prices are going up, so I think we just need to buy something we don't even like just as a stopgap so we're on the ladder, and have somewhere to live. Is this normal? We were hoping to buy a very long term home that we actually had a fairly good feeling about, but seems like that's unrealistic.

I find it hard to stomach spending 400k+ on something I don't even like or care about and would be embarrassed to invite friends or family over to.

Yeah, I agree, it’s partly that too. Plus all the excess of wealth people had for the first time since the war in the 1980s.

I get where you are coming from. Not a FTB but wanting to move up and it's incredibly frustrating. I thought we had a decent budget but can't find anything that meets our needs and in budget. Some of the prices are shocking for what they actually offer. I feel like we will never move at this rate!

in the past I have settled for houses, but never had something I didn’t like. One was a doer upper nightmare and I would never do that again, even though on paper we had the money to finish it ended up costing way more than anticipated and was probably the most stressful year of my life. We have now moved to a completely different and much cheaper area and have my dream house. I would consider location, sadly £400k will buy you peanuts in some places and an incredible home in others.

We had to buy right first time as we have no hope of moving up the ladder due to our circumstances and needed a family home. The average age of a ftb is mid 30s now so i dont think thats so unusual. We had to compromise on location. We are more rural than we would have hoped and we found being further from a train station made a big difference to price. You can only afford what you can afford.

its £411 a month without needing to use any further public transport across London. Thats quite a jump from a zone 3/4 travelcard. Fine if you have the budget and are happy with the commute. I saved alot of money and time when I moved from Southend to East London.

there will always be compromises whatever budget you have. Best advice I’ve had is buy the “smallest house on the best street” ie if you buy in a nice area, good schools etc, you’ll always be able to sell and move on. Location, location, location- that is what matters most. Also buy a house from 1950s onwards as they have cavity walls and damp proof courses! But if you want room size then 1990s+ started getting small.

we bought 6 years ago and can appreciate your situation. Needed a family home but without the budget, so it’s not perfect but we intend to move on at some point, just make sure it’s not a money pit of a house. It’s surprising how much some things cost…like landscaping sloping gardens!!!

god No always go with your gut!!!! Why buy something that you’re going to be paying off for so long!!!

We bought a flat in 2006, tried to sell after having more children than the apartment could take and are still renting it out because of negative equity. Do not tie yourself to something you can’t potentially see yourself in for the coming future!!!!

Always a compromise. For the budget it’ll be location / size / needing renovation / parking. choose 2 you can’t compromise on and 2 you can. You can’t have it all whatever your budget.

If you want to buy you have to compromise. Renting is money down the drain.

myself and my partner bough together and rented rooms out at a below market rate to pay for renovations. If you want to get on the housing ladder this is a way to do it. The fact they all need work doing means you are adding value and can move in future with larger equity.

houses are hard work. When you rent and it breaks someone sorts it. When you own it you pay and have to sort it. It’s whether you are willing to make that effort

Taking on an older person’s property can be a great idea - you’d be amazed how much of a difference a good clean, fresh paint and fixtures can make, especially in the short term. As you’ve said these types of property are offered at a lower than expected price point because they need selling quickly - surface condition may be hiding a gem that will serve you as an excellent investment for the future.
Do more major renovations as and when you can - and try and enjoy the process.
IME the process creates the love for your home - so look for a great location and eventually you could have something really special…

I hate the 'Renting is money down the drain' comment.

Putting a roof over your head is not money down the drain. If you are not able to afford to buy, or if renting suits your current circumstances, you can do without this comment.

I do tend to agree! Mumsnet are always going on about how renting is a waste. Sometimes in life it’s the best thing to do. Lots of flats sell for less that they cost, especially new builds.

Don't have unrealistic expectations. Find a home that can suit you now and for the next 10 years. Buy a home that can be improved. If it’s a flat, can you extend into a garden or the roof? Find a place that you like the area, does it have the transport and amenities you need? It doesn't have to be a trendy area, just one that is good enough for you. Do you like the walk from the station etc etc. Every home can be improved. You can save up and do a room a year. It’s amazing what knocking a wall down, new bathroom or just a paint job can do. Stamp duty is huge once you jump over 500K - so moving house is not something you want to keep doing every few years. You get used to new areas very quickly.

Have you thought about buying a bigger home and renting out a room to pay for the increased mortgage? You can earn £7K tax free per year on rent a room scheme. or that money could be used to renovate. There are solutions but you may not like them!

Being in SE England too I feel your pain! We are trying to upsize from a 2 bed that we brought in 2018 but the market, mortgage rates and what’s available is just awful for the price! It’s impossible to do what was done in the past as houses don’t make money as they did in previous generations so you get stuck. Similar to you I can’t fathom how I can spend £400K and barely get a liveable 3 bed that needs no major work! Plus stamp duty costs which are another insult :(

I'm skipping to the end a bit but yes, I do think, especially in the SE where we also live that your first house is going to have to be a massive compromise. Ours was a repossessed 2 bed on a fairly new estate and I hated everything about it, but it was a house, we owned it, and it helped us get to where we are now.

I don't think it's realistic to find something with long term potential as a ftb. Just buy whatever you can get, make the most of it, then move on to something bigger and better within a few years.

Have you tried looking at a slightly different area? What point are you at in terms of do you already have kids? Could you go for something smaller?

Its completely normal to not be able to buy the house you really want as a ftb. Most people start at the bottom and work their way up to what they actually want over 10/15 years.

I think the issue is now that a lot of people who have been renting are used to a certain standard of property (reasonably modern kitchen & bathroom, good working boiler, all repairs completed fairly soon upon reporting them to landlord, decent standard of floor coverings & decor, possiblly been renting a new build etc) that just doesnt exist for as cheap as they would like when you buy your own house.

Which is why ftb's get such a bad reputation on the property board on MN as they are not realistic when buying their own home as they are rarely up to the comparable standard to their rental property unless you have a lot of money to spend on buying it.

I understand that when you are used to a certain standard of home when renting, you expect to get that same standard when you buy your own home for the same sort of money but it doesnt work like that. You will likely end up buying somewhere that you would never chose to live in if it was up for rent but that again is normal.

I wish you luck in your search but expect you will have to massively reduce your expectations as they are probably out of sync with what you will be able to buy in your chosen area for the money you have.

I’ve had to buy an elderly persons home in need of renovations (electrics, drainage, structural stuff, windows, doors, bathroom, kitchen, damp - new roof one day too!). It was my only option to own a home and I had to pay top whack for it too - I’m really cross about it all and I do worry that we will loose money on this house but at least I do have some security in where I live now. I think it is common for FTB to settle now - even when spending an eye watering amount.

Are the houses you don't like quite unlikeable - or just have problems stemming from not being your forever home? Really bad design, super dark, no parking... universal issues that could scupper you selling in 5 years? Or, I don't like this side of town because I'm too far from Auntie Kath, but someone else will snap it up because it's right near that school everyone wants their kids to get into?

Houses being sold by older people are often well-maintained although dated. At least in my area. We spent £10k on a new roof last year, so a substantial sum but still budgetable

I had to abandon a lot of things i wanted when I bought my house: I wanted a large garden, two reception rooms and no open plan. I got one reception room, open plan downstairs and a tiny garden. But other things, eg country location and good transport links I did get. It’s a good idea not to be too prescriptive.

Yes you have to compromise and this is the exact conversation I am having with BIL. On FTB budget you aren’t going to get exactly what you want. You have to roll your sleeves up and make it a home.

My house was pretty grim when we bought it in 2021. Kitchen and bathroom depressingly dated and poor spec to begin with, internal doors that were hollow, a fence that was falling down, rusty radiators.

We got on with it and replaced the flooring, the fences, the internal doors, the downstairs loo. We decorated and spent time considering what we like. Last year we had a new bathroom, replaced the boiler and radiators. My new kitchen is nearly finished as of this week. It’s a gorgeous house now and we’re going to enjoy it being nice for a few years before moving on.

Yeah it's normal nowadays, but it's also not normal at all, it's complete insanity to spend that much money on a house you don't like.

I bought a house when I was 22, it's gone up 6x since then.

The Country however has gotten more than 6x worse since then because house prices are so unreasonably high. And no I do not feel 'secure' in this Country just because I have a house paid off. Quite the opposite.

I have no other advice for you other than to go out and protest, no idea why so many people let themselves get shafted.

It’s the best way to do it -
I bought my first flat 6 years ago. 1 bed, cockroach infested and needed a new kitchen and bathroom. Got it for a good price and did most of the work myself. Sold it for a lot more than I spent on renovations . Moved to a 2 bed cottage that needed some work. Sold it for 50% more than I bought it for. Managed to get myself a 3 bed flat with the equity (ie mortgage free) . Did a bit of electrical work on it, sold it for 10k more than I bought it.
now, I’m in the process of buying my dream 3 bed home. I’ll have a 40k mortgage.
it’s been hard work, and I’ve bought in areas that are relatively cheap, but it’s definitely the way to go.
the longer you wait, the more prices go up. The longer you’re also paying someone else’s mortgage. I always think it’s better to live in a shit house that you own than one that you like that isn’t yours .

It’s normal! Unless you’re rich you’ll need to work your way up the housing ladder to your forever home. Work out what you can compromise on, but I’d always advise to prioritise good area, plot and overall structure. Everything else is easily changed and if you diy can be done affordably if not quickly.

Buy - improve - profit - buy better- improve - profit - buy better etc (repeat until you find forever home).