Is it normal to settle for a home you don't like?

[Namedrop000]

We're FTBs. We've been patiently saving for many years for our first home. But there's just nothing on the market at the moment? The places we've seen fit none of our (pretty modest!) needs, and have been in terrible condition. We don't have the cash for big renovations.

We've been looking for about a year and prices are going up, so I think we just need to buy something we don't even like just as a stopgap so we're on the ladder, and have somewhere to live. Is this normal? We were hoping to buy a very long term home that we actually had a fairly good feeling about, but seems like that's unrealistic.

I find it hard to stomach spending 400k+ on something I don't even like or care about and would be embarrassed to invite friends or family over to.

But the house they buy would also rise in price making the step up easier. We bought our house 3 years ago, we’ve done nothing to it and it’s been valued at £50k above what we paid for it. We couldn’t have saved £50k in 3 years.

I know, we are lucky to be able to afford it but it’s going to be tight and is depressing for a house we don’t love!

I’m in SE England too, prices are crazy. I brought a while ago but still had to compromise, I think you always have to unless you have loads of money. The question is what you can live with, for example I really wanted a downstairs loo but had to compromise on having a postage stamp garden and no garage. 400k should get you a reasonable 2/3bed semi unless you want to be in a very expensive area

It is totally normal to have to compromise when buying a house. Even more so as a FTB, the vast majority of FTBs cannot start buying a long time home, whether it's 2024 or any earlier!
I think the thing to compromise on is firstly condition / style / size. Don't compromise on location or neighbourhood, only on things that can be changed.
Good luck!

I would personally hold off for a little while longer but keep looking rather than settle for something you don’t like.
The market has turned but sellers have not accepted this yet and still asking over the top prices.
I am seeing a lot of probate properties that the sellers have not factored into the costs to put right and rebuilding costs have increased dramatically in the last 5 years.

I had to compromise & do a lot of work on mine, not perfect at all but it's not forever.

I'm surprised you are seeing prices rise, in my SE area they have dropped significantly in last yr & a half, like a 50k off a 320k house.

Don't know where you are looking but SE certainly many decent places, 2 & 3 bed gardens driveway decent areas in the 300k budget.

Generally speaking, a rising market makes moving up harder. In a falling market, it should be easier for people to upsize because the gaps are smaller and the taxes on moving lower. However, in a situation where a FTB has stretched themselves to the max and taken out a large mortgage, they could easily end up in negative equity and unable to move if the market falls sharply.

The 50k that you mention is a totally theoretical figure unless you actually sell and realise it. Most estate agents are very over optimistic in terms of valuations at present if you look at the number of properties being reduced and not selling at all.

I would hold on a bit if you can, at least to have an explore of other areas/options, although you say you need a family home ASAP. I wouldn’t buy a place you don’t like or would feel that uncomfortable to live in. I think a lot of people are holding off for better mortgage rates before they can move up the ladder and vacate those nice FTB/starter family homes. Is there an option to move another stop or two along the train line - 10mins from the station in any town is really quite a small area, maybe that would help expand your search without compromising lifestyle too much. I’m in North Hertfordshire where commute to London is a little longer (40mins) but you can buy lovely 3bed semis with gardens in nice areas for under 400k. The same money wouldn’t go that far down the train line where the commutes are under 30mins, certainly not to what I’d consider long term family home size. Good luck, it’s so hard at the moment, with prices and rates this high.

Yes I think so a bit. Similar age to you, two children, SE also. First bought five years ago and it was a doer upper for a bit more than your budget. But we bought the best area we could afford. We made maybe £30k profit, over the house price, fees, and money we spent on it. But the bigger equity gains came from paying the mortgage for four years.

We've now bought a much bigger one that is ten /fifteen mins walk from a train station, and our priority was location (train, walkable to nursery and an outstanding school, nice green space nearby). It was a total doer upper again and we've had to take some big loans out. But we couldn't afford a done house in this area, that was detached and walkable everywhere, so that was the compromise. It does have some pebbledash, but you can paint it. Or render it - our builder said it's roughly £65 per sq metre for K render. I quite like cream painted pebbledash and it suits the period of this property so we are keeping ours. In the last year that we have owned it, we have paid down about £30k of the mortgage.

We won't trade up again, the stamp duty means it doesn't work so well in the south east (in my opinion). But for us, location was most important, especially with kids and a dogs- somewhere safe and easily walkable with green space. Logistics for us as two full time working parents (easy commute, quick walk to nursery and eventually a decent primary school). And then the house itself - what can you do to add value/improve it/make a lovely home. Our compromise was definitely the house and garden, but it's nice enough and it'll look lovely once we've finished the work on it (hopefully in the next three months or so)

Or any of these in Rainham (Medway area, Kent):

https://www.onthemarket.com/details/15022225/
https://www.onthemarket.com/details/14362473/
https://www.onthemarket.com/details/14546567/

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/148221614#/?channel=RES_BUY

This one is my pick for a decent house in Leigh on Sea near to station for commute and great walkability.

Depends if you need to commute into London though. The train fares are extortionate.
you can buy similar in zone 3 London with a quicker and cheaper commute.
i do love Leigh on sea tho!

I haven't been to Rainham for donkey's years but I still have family who live in Medway, and as far as I'm aware, it's still as rough as when I lived there as a kid.

Is Rainham considered nice? Or, at the least, not stabby?

I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, but if the properties on the market in your price range don't meet your needs, they are unreasonable needs. You need to readjust your expectations. There's no such thing as a perfect house.

This. It’s called a ladder for a reason.

You would be surprised. Sometimes the worst condition homes on the surface are the best underneath. For multitude reasons…

• They don’t make things like they used to.
• The more upgrades renos somethings had the worst it is underneath as most people do not do things properly and even if they are trying you will have to botch something somewhere - by virtue of retrofitting, it’s just the way it is.

Everyone does work when they buy a home. The poor, the middles and the rich. Everyone.

The reality in 2024 is that if you dont make significant compromises you'll be renting forever, paying increasing amounts in rent and can be moved on by your landlord when they want to do so. You can rent a cheaper place and save a bigger deposit or you can insist on high standards and still be renting when you retire. The chance of any government significantly increasing the housing stock in the next 10 years is pretty small, whatever promises they make now - and what gets built now may not match your standards anyway as it's likely to be small.

If you dont want people telling you they had to compromise then dont post.

My first flat was so crap. So crap! Genuinely awful and horrible in so many varied ways!!!

I didnt care I was sick of renting. I did it up myself but by bit (single at the time). I Did what I could learning from YouTube. I still had friends and family over etc and didn’t give one singular fuck if they thought it was shabby- their issue not mine.

5 years later I walked away with quadruple my deposit due to making mortgage overpayments and price increases. Just sold this year so recent advice.

I bought a 5 bed house due to increased salary, had a partner with equally good job, savings and equity from the flat. I’m so so glad I bought it and all the weekends working hard to make it nice are so worth it. Now we’re never moving again until we can’t make the stairs!!!

From your posts I believe your location requirements will be causing issues. Keep an open mind!

We bought our first "family home" back in 2002. It wasn't ideal, it was dated, had an old poky kitchen, a dated bathroom, dodgy decor and a tiny third bedroom, but it was what we could afford in a desirable area of the SE which worked for us re commuting and being close to parents etc. We picked (expensive!) area and potential over finished and fancy.

We pretty much lived with it as it was, bar basic cosmetic decorating that we did ourselves and essential maintenance until in 2013 when we updated the bathroom as it had become too bad to keep patching up. We then did a loft conversion in 2016 giving us two extra bedrooms and a second bathroom. In 2022 we extended and had a lovely big new kitchen and a utility and downstairs loo. So we now have lovely 5 bed family home with a big kitchen and everything we could ever need. It's still a work in progress - we could do with new windows, the driveway needs some maintenance etc - but it's taken us 20+ years to get to this point. Of course we couldn't have afforded the perfect, done up family home when we first bought, and nor could we have afforded to do all the major scale work when we had young children, nursery fees etc, and to be fair, we're pretty high earners. We had to live with what we could afford and accept we'd be playing the long game and would have to invest time, money and effort into getting it how we wanted as and when we could. We now have a lovely home (although it's a 1930's pebble dashed!). I think it's a rare first time buyer who can walk into the perfect family house of their dreams, and this has always been the case!

I lived in central Gillingham for 10 years or so when first with my DH (he's a Gillingham boy :)). Chatham has always been dodgy, Gillingham isn't great these days I don't think, but Rainham and Rochester are OK.
I'm still relatively local, have colleagues and friends from Medway.

We panic bought our house. I was 8 months pregnant and we just grabbed the first 3 bed at a fixed price that came on the market.

it’s not our forever home. It’s only a stop gap. It is suitable for what we need right now… but didn’t meet all of our criteria.

I know we’ll get exactly what we want in years to come, but for now we’re ok.

Train fare from Leigh to the city isn't extortionate at all IMO, around £20pd peak time.

Totally agree OP

We live in the south east - we have owned a home in London and have bought in the south east before but currently rent (in our 50s) we rent because it provides a better quality of living in the south east. If you are almost 40 and looking at buying your first home - then you are very used to paying X and getting a certain level of home. But the X does not translate now to what you can afford to buy at the same standard. Being 10mins from a train station - you will need to move out further to buy or stay renting closer unfortunately.

I’m not sure that is true… we had a £15k deposit in 2019. We used it to buy a doer-upper for £300k (but mostly just cosmetic work required) at a 3.5% interest rate (so didn’t particularly benefit from silly low rates).

We are now remortgaging 5 years later, with equity of £150k. That would enable us to ‘move up’ the ladder if required, or even downsize and be mortgage free.

I do agree with you re parents giving money to kids has pushed up house prices but I would argue that house prices were pushed up before this by mums going back to work. Years ago it took one salary to buy a house.