Is it normal to settle for a home you don't like?

[Namedrop000]

We're FTBs. We've been patiently saving for many years for our first home. But there's just nothing on the market at the moment? The places we've seen fit none of our (pretty modest!) needs, and have been in terrible condition. We don't have the cash for big renovations.

We've been looking for about a year and prices are going up, so I think we just need to buy something we don't even like just as a stopgap so we're on the ladder, and have somewhere to live. Is this normal? We were hoping to buy a very long term home that we actually had a fairly good feeling about, but seems like that's unrealistic.

I find it hard to stomach spending 400k+ on something I don't even like or care about and would be embarrassed to invite friends or family over to.

What are your modest needs, and what do you mean by ‘terrible condition’? We bought a total wreck (beautiful bones, but had been a student party house for years (had/has leaks, draughts enough to blow your hair around, graffiti on inside walls, and we will be living on a building site for some time to come etc), but we’ve never let it stop us having people over. Just warned them to dress warmly…

What are you looking at?

No advice but I'm feeling the exact same way. Also a FTB and have been looking for the last year or so, but there just isn't anything half decent on the market. My mother says I'm unrealistic, she's probably right lol.

Yes you have to settle. Most of us can’t afford the houses we really want. In many cases we never have that amount of money and spend our whole lives settling.

You have to make compromises, especially as a FTB because budget is normally modest. However I would never buy a property I didn’t like.

You don’t have to love it, but if you don’t even like it I would keep looking. Prices aren’t rising in most areas.

You need to make compromises and why are you only seeing houses in need to heavy renovation? Why not buy smaller in better condition?

I personally think renting when you can afford to buy is money down the drain. You need to adjust your expectations according to what’s available. In some areas 400k will only get you a fixer-upper so look elsewhere in less nice areas for your requirements.

My only piece of advice is to learn some DIY and decorating skills. If you've only experienced "done" houses you are going to be unaware of what you are capable of. If a house is structurally sound you can do an awful lot for little money, AKA sweat equity.
Agree with PP get a house that isn't perfect and make it perfect.

Most places in our price range are in dodgy and totally impractical areas for work/lifestyle, and in worse physical condition than anywhere I've ever rented, even as a student. Most affordable homes on the market right now seem to be elderly peoples' houses because they HAVE to be sold since they've died or gone into care. It's not just dated decor, we can deal with that. It's years and years of neglect and disrepair. We don't have the money or time to deal with it. I'm wondering if the solution is to just continue renting for the foreseeable long-term and admit defeat that we didn't factor £100k of work into our house buying budget?

I’d continue renting and keep looking/hoping. You don’t have to settle yet, if ever.

You just choose the best you can afford in the least dodgy area, and do the necessary work, gradually, over years.

And I think virtually everyone who goes from renting to owning for the first time will start off by living in less nice surroundings. We certainly did.

So you can't afford what you want - that's not the fault of the market.

There's always a compromise between affordability and ideal standards.

If you can't afford it, you need to be compromising on something - location, condition, number of bedrooms, size of property, type of property (terrace, detached, flat) - in order to get as close as you can to what you want.

If you don't want a project, you need to look at where else you can make adjustments to your needs or expectations. What is a deal breaker versus a nice to have?

For us an absolute requirement is a decent garage due to motorbikes. That instantly cuts out 90% (if not more!) of all properties on the market.

And where are you with rising prices? I'm in Cornwall and prices are definitely dropping.

My DB and his DW are in the same position as you though second time buyers.

DB ideally wants a Victorian house but they’re priced out of most of them and they saw one like that which got away but their flat hasn’t been put up for sale yet.

They’re now looking in areas further away from DM and me and the whole idea is we’d be on hand to help with school/nursery drop offs.

As moving is so expensive they want this to be their forever home.

I also think there’s a big difference between a place which needs work doing to it to or a place which needs completely redoing, especially when like DB you have 2 young children, one a baby.

I sympathise with you OP.

We had a similar issue and we had been looking for about 2 years...During that time, prices somehow even went up a little and the rates went up. Our rent just increased 7% as well. We decided to increase our budget for a location we like but gave up space (we are buying a small flat with a garden). Unfortunately as FTB, we need to give up something significant to get at least one thing we like. Either it's location, curb appeal, space etc. I recommend really thinking about what is that one thing you really cannot give up and will give you the most happiness. For us it was a good location. You can get something much nicer and renovated if you go to a less desirable location, then for you the renovation/size/quality of the house would be what's important. Have a really hard think about it.

Avoiding potential embarrassment seems a costly price to pay for long-term housing security. I wouldn't let that get in your way.

Will you always be too time poor and cash strapped to make improvements or is that something that you think could improve (as children get older/ you progress in your career, say?) and allow you to make the necessary improvements?

When we started looking last summer there were more and nicer options for our money, but we thought it sensible to get a feel for the market before diving in. Now we wish we'd just bought one of the first houses we saw. Hindsight.

We're in S. East England where prices are constantly rising, no matter what.

Our most important requirements are just somewhere that's a walkable and cyclable area. A train station within 10 min drive or bus journey. We both walk and cycle everywhere and have done for about 10 years. We have a car but don't really want to have to buy another one. House wise, something that's not hideously ugly and pebbledashed and doesn't need a full roof replacement or have rising damp would be a good start.

You need to look for something smaller - sounds like you just can’t afford houses of the size you’re looking at in good condition and/or in the right area.

FWIW the first property we owned was a studio flat on a main road, which needed work. We did the work, sold and inched our way up. There was no chance of a proper house for years!

Could you buy a slightly nicer but smaller property? Or the obvious answer is to move somewhere cheaper. If your 400k won't buy a house in a condition you have the skills to improve, you need to look for something else.

We saw a lot of houses we hated when we were looking. The house we bought was in a grotty state but in a lovely position next to woodland. That was what sold it to me. It needed a bit of work on it when we moved in to make it safe (spent about 8k) and then the decor we lived with and did it up over the next two years.

We moved from the most sought-after area in our town when we were renting (five minutes walk from everything) to an area we barely even knew existed... but it's great, we love it and wouldn't want to live in town now.

I agree w you OP. It is galling to spend nearly half a million on a poky little house with box rooms for bedrooms that no one has tended to for 30 years!

Tbh we should be grateful to be able to buy even. But the housing situation in this country is truly a disgrace.

Buying something in poor condition might not necessarily be a bad thing. It depends on what is wrong with it.

Before you go any further, look at the different grants that are available. You may be surprised at what you can get to upgrade cold, damp, poorly insulated properties. At least do some research, and get an idea of average costs for things that you won't get any help with.

Where are you prepared to compromise? Will you take on an ancient kitchen and bathroom, live with it for 15 years whilst you damp proof, rewire, put in new heating and maybe add new roof and windows?

Or are you looking for something that needs a lick of paint?

If you're really honest about what you're prepared to accept, you could probably rule out 90% of the properties without even wasting time visiting them.

I'm not sure it's normal to buy something you actively don't like - but compromise is essential, no matter how huge your budget. £400+ is a very good budget and if you are only looking at run down properties at that price range you must be in a very expensive area. It can be really helpful to look at your compromises and view properties with those compromises to really get your head around what matters most to you. So try broadening your search area to where you can get a "better" house - view the house - figure out if the area compromise would be acceptable. rinse, repeat, until you really know what you will compromise on and what you won't.

Also, you will pay a premium to have the house perfect as soon as you move in - whether you buy it that way or you expect to be able to renovate it to "dream" condition before you move in. Most people manage to eventually get the house just right for them over years as they gradually upgrade kitchens, bathrooms etc as they can afford to. Thinking long-term will always get you more.

I’ve bought a couple that were functional but I didn’t love and a few I loved.

The functional were where we had to move and bought the best thing on the market we could afford. It was always better than renting.

I moved my way up the property ladder to het what I wanted, where I wanted it. I don’t get why FTB think they can skip that part and get instant gratification.

Coming at it from a different angle - how much more are the properties that you actually like? Are there many of them around?

Any train station at all in the SE? Or do you need to be local to a specific area?

In Portsmouth a budget of £400k goes pretty far.

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/148281641

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/144575222

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/143305175

All nice enough areas of Southsea.

You're referring to a house, would you not consider a flat? You're more likely to find a 2 bed flat in budget I'd have thought than a 3-4 bed house. Plus should be in somewhat better condition as structural repairs e.g. to the roof are not the direct responsibility of the individual owners L. Plus flats are more likely to be in the town centre which is what you want?

I get the desire to future proof yourself and buy the 'forever home' as soon as you can (despite the ickiness of the phrase) but the reality is that unless you get a significant cash input from an inheritance or similar most young people just can't afford their ideal home first time around. It's quite normal to buy a flat rather than a house as FTBs, I know people will terrify you about lease issues or cladding or whatever but I've owned many flats over the years as have my DC more recently and never had any major issues (the odd capital repair bill yes). Contrary to popular opinion also it's perfectly possible to raise kids in a flat and also for 2 people to comfortably work from home in a 2 bed flat so long as at least one of you doesn't need some kind of enormous triple-monitor standing desk arrangement. Assuming you currently have no DC I'd find a nice spacious 2 bed flat that will do you for 5ish years at least and see where the market is then...