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Original poster

Offered our dream house but…

184 replies

Battleaxx · 01/04/2023 09:27

we were moving away!

So we have sold our house to a cash buyer, in preparation for a big relocation across the country to be near my parents in Cambridgeshire. We haven’t found a place there yet, it’s ridiculously expensive but we’re looking hard.

Yesterday I was called by an old friend who lives in a beautiful house in our town. It is our dream house and we’ve always said if we could choose any house that would be it: bright, spacious, lovely garden, on a lane and backing onto a nature reserve. Still within walking distance of school and work. There are only 3 houses on the lane and they never come up for sale. Friend is selling and said we could buy it privately and get a bit of a discount as she would save agent’s fees.

What do we do? It’s like handing in your notice and being offered a massive pay rise! We have very good reasons for relocating, primarily being closer to my parents but also more work opportunities. The flipside is that it’s more expensive and we’d be living in something much less good. We are settled where we are but had psyched ourselves up for the move, identified schools, got the kids on board, got family excited that we’ll be nearer etc.

OP posts:
TheLongpigs · 01/04/2023 09:31

For me, it would come down to the reasons why you are relocating. If it's going to benefit you in terms of job opportunities – that's a great reason. However, it never makes sense to me that young families with working age parents and children in school, move great distances to be near parents who are often retired and can move wherever they like.

Given the information in your OP, I would probably go for this house. If your parents want to be near you, they can move, especially as I assume it will benefit them.

Original poster
Battleaxx · 01/04/2023 09:47

I take your point although my parents are still working.

OP posts:
Original poster
Battleaxx · 01/04/2023 09:50

Also I grew up in Cambridge, have a lot of friends there. But it’s so expensive. Completely torn.

OP posts:
boboshmobo · 01/04/2023 10:08

I'd take it and live in it for 10 years then move nearer your parents if needed . If they are still working then they are surely fine ?!

KeepingKeepingOn · 01/04/2023 10:09

What made you look into relocating in the first place - was it that you couldn’t find the right house in your area so had to think about bigger change or was it that you’d outgrown the area in terms of access to great schools and / or job opps?

that would be my starting point. If it’s the former, it’s probably worth reconsidering; if it’s the latter, the house is a distraction and those reasons will come back out again in the future.

Reddickyouless · 01/04/2023 10:12

I’d buy the friends house
then reassess in a few years
your parents can move near you if it’s that important to be closer
dont miss this opportunity, I think you’d regret it

Minimalme · 01/04/2023 10:23

We have just moved 200 miles north from SE, to be a five minute walk from my ILs.

We wish we had quit the SE years ago. The extra hike in living costs crippled us financially and we were already on our knees.

We have bought a house outright in Northumberland and have found the schools and health services to be so much better.

I say don't do it.

dietcokelime · 01/04/2023 10:23

Buy the house!!

Your parents are still of working age, so depending on the age you've got a good amount of time to enjoy the perfect house. Then you can like PP said re assess in the future.

rainbowstardrops · 01/04/2023 10:26

If your parents are still working, what's the reason for moving nearer to them? Would you see much of them?

whoruntheworldgirls · 01/04/2023 10:26

I'd take the dream house. Sounds lovely

CherryBlossom321 · 01/04/2023 10:27

100% dream house.

thebeachisenough · 01/04/2023 10:39

Defo buy the house!

TheJanitor · 01/04/2023 10:41

Dream house sounds gorgeous. Go for it!

Snoken · 01/04/2023 10:42

I would relocate if you genuinely think you will be happier there, which it sounds like you will with family and friends around you. Although I don't know if you have the same where you are now. I have lived in a beautiful big victorian house in a town I didn't want to live in and didn't excite me, I then downsized massively to a 2-bed flat which is also lovely but not anywhere near what the house was. I am so much happier in the little flat because I am exactly where I want to be, and I am near my friends and family again.

endoftheworldniteclub · 01/04/2023 10:49

Dream house 100%. You can always move later, if you really want to.

Twiglets1 · 01/04/2023 10:49

Battleaxx · 01/04/2023 09:47

I take your point although my parents are still working.

If your parents are still working there is no real reason to move closer to them right now. I would buy the dream house and reassess in a few years if you want to move to Cambridgeshire or your parents want to move closer to you.

Blueberrycreampie · 01/04/2023 10:53

Is there scope for building on to the house in the future so your parents could come and live with you, eg a self-contained annexe?

ApocalypseNowt · 01/04/2023 10:56

Buy the dream house.

Sprig1 · 01/04/2023 10:58

Stay. It doesn't sound like you will improve your quality of life by moving.

ReallyShouldBeDoingSomethingElse · 01/04/2023 10:59

It sounds like you would always regret not taking the dream house. Do you think you would regret not moving to Cambridge?

RosesInWater · 01/04/2023 11:01

You will forever regret NOT buying the dream house. Even if you manage to find something in Cambridge you may have to compromise on lots of things because of price etc. and will forever compare. Buy the dream house and re assess after a few years.

It is great that you want to be nearer your parents, but realistically why now? They are still working and appear to be in reasonably good health. Does your husband have family in Cambridge also and is he fully in agreement with the move, what are his views?

Surely you are not on the other side of the world to your parents, and if you want to see each other more often, that can be done without moving.

Thelittlekingdom · 01/04/2023 11:04

What’s the area you’re in now like? I would be tempted to stay for my dream house if it was in an area I loved. Otherwise I’d move. If your parents have no health concerns and they’re still working you could stay put until your kids finish their education.

londonginge · 01/04/2023 11:39

If you're getting the hard to get dream house at a good price now, might it increase in value over the next ten years to allow you to get something better near your parents later?

CheshireCats · 01/04/2023 11:42

How old are your kids? It's a huge thing to move kids from their school/area.
My DC have still not forgiven us for doing this 10 years ago! I would stay put.

Briallen · 01/04/2023 11:49

boboshmobo · 01/04/2023 10:08

I'd take it and live in it for 10 years then move nearer your parents if needed . If they are still working then they are surely fine ?!

I’d also do this. Especially if parents are still young enough to be working