Offered our dream house but…

[Battleaxx]

we were moving away!

So we have sold our house to a cash buyer, in preparation for a big relocation across the country to be near my parents in Cambridgeshire. We haven’t found a place there yet, it’s ridiculously expensive but we’re looking hard.

Yesterday I was called by an old friend who lives in a beautiful house in our town. It is our dream house and we’ve always said if we could choose any house that would be it: bright, spacious, lovely garden, on a lane and backing onto a nature reserve. Still within walking distance of school and work. There are only 3 houses on the lane and they never come up for sale. Friend is selling and said we could buy it privately and get a bit of a discount as she would save agent’s fees.

What do we do? It’s like handing in your notice and being offered a massive pay rise! We have very good reasons for relocating, primarily being closer to my parents but also more work opportunities. The flipside is that it’s more expensive and we’d be living in something much less good. We are settled where we are but had psyched ourselves up for the move, identified schools, got the kids on board, got family excited that we’ll be nearer etc.

I live near Cambridge and I feel so lucky to live near such a wonderful city. There is so much going on and with all the students and focus on education the it gives the whole area a positive outlook and will changes the opportunities and mindset for your children. It is not dull and when we moved here with young children 16 years ago we found there was much more free inexpensive activities to do, beautiful river walks and countryside and the cycling too! I would move to Cambridge.

I live over 4 hrs from my parents and would move closer in a heartbeat but the job market is poor where they live and they won’t move closer to us. They live by the sea and love it so…
I would let the house go as family and better job prospects are much more important than bricks and mortar.

If you want to stay buy the dream house but do you want to stay?
I think it's best not to move the dc during secondary

Well, what do you prioritise? What's most important?

If a better house is all ot takes to potentially put the kibosh on the whole move, it doesn't sound to me as though you really want to move that much. Don't do it just because you're psyched. Reminds me of Diana Spencer's mother saying she had to marry Charles now because her face was on the tea towels.

For me it would depend on the job opportunities in your area now. Would the area your in hold you back? It is just a house, you need to be happy where you live because of the opportunities for you and your children. Also if there are enough opportunities now could your parents move nearer?

I’d move.

Yes, it’s your dream house but you weren’t moving to buy a dream house in the first place. You had reasons. Being closer to family with better job opportunities and near friends. I don’t see what’s changed….

Take the dream house. You’ll regret it if you don’t. Cambridge isn’t going anywhere. We don’t get to realise all our dreams in life, grab it.

Take the house

Move!
Cambridge is streets ahead of the SW in terms of schooling, health and job opportunities.

All those saying it's acres of fens.
Umm yep that's the north side out to Ely.
Ely is nice btw but schools a bit iffy.

South Cambs to Herts border is lovely.
Pretty villages, great transport links.
You could look at Saffron Walden if you want to be out of Cambridge.
If its not too outing Op which schools ?

I am surprised that so many people say that there is no real reason to move to be closer to your parents. As in they are not old and fragile to need your support. It feels odd that people dont seem to understand that some families like to spend time together and be close enough to help each other in day to day life of in case of illness/doctor's appointments etc.

From what you have written OP I think you 'd better continue looking to move.
There is a facebook group called Life after London where people share both succcesful and non-succesful relocation stories if you are interested to hear more perspective.

"All those saying it's acres of fens.
Umm yep that's the north side out to Ely.
Ely is nice btw but schools a bit iffy."

That's the part of Cambridgeshire I'm from. Shit schools, there was absolutely nothing to do in my town growing up, so much anti social behaviour and the bus links were appalling (three hours to get to Cambridge or P'bourgh, last bus home at 7pm- if it turned up). I moved out at 18 to go to uni and did not return.

I'm sure there are nicer parts of the county, just that I didn't really get to experience it.

Sounds like you need to do a good old pro and cons list, you could even get your children involved so that they feel on board and part of the family plans.

Dream house-walking distance of school and work??

Sounds too good to be true!

So you'd stay at least until kids have left secondary school-how does that sound?

As the kids get older they are going to get busier with school/friends & perhaps less likely to want to do weekend trips to GPs.

Would that matter?

Would you go alone?

@DangerousBeans1 this is true. It is a big county and there are nicer parts and less nice parts. Same as SW is a very large area encompassing Bristol and Bath and lots of other cities as well as towns, villages and rural areas, so there are vast differences in house prices and quality of education across the SW. Transport links would be important for me in terms of kids becoming teenagers.

Also a word of warning that lot of schools are oversubscribed (in all parts of the country) so just because there are good schools locally doesn’t mean you’ll get your kids into them. So if your kids have already started school be careful about this too.

Sorry OP but I would still move. You had lots of good reasons to move before you knew about the house and they haven’t gone away. It would be pretty shallow to stay for the sake of a house.

If you’re moving to a part of Cambs with better job opportunities then I imagine it will also be one of the areas with very good schools
for your DC. The move will be much much harder on them in ten years - do it now while they are young.

They’re working??? Dream house instead! You can always sell and move later and if it’s that fantastic it would hold its value! And when your parents retire they can move to you and presumably buy something pretty good

I live in Cambridge and it’s expensive and filled with pretentious arseholes! Oh and it looks like there will be a congestion charge for the city very soon too 😅Go with the dreamhouse, it sounds amazing! Maybe the in laws could consider moving closer to you once they retire, as it’s never ideal uprooting children from their schools and friends?

If you have told the children then you need to proceed very very carefully.

If the decision is to take the dream house and stay in your town indefinitely then fine.

If, however, the true plan is to live in the dream house for ten years and then move to Cambs then you risk really unsettling the children. If you are honest about this then your children will be on a ticking clock with every friendship and hobby. If you are not honest about this then the move will pull the rug from under their feet at a very tender age.

If you stay in your town and take the dream house you need to make a commitment to yourselves that you will see your children through to the end of secondary school before moving. Moving is really unsettling, and I speak from experience. I don’t blame my parents as the moves were unavoidable but in my case it did me very little good and probably did some harm. There is a very noticeable difference between my experience and that of my sister, who is six years younger and coped much better.

The house maybe your dream but the other things that made you consider relocating will still be there. I’d carry on with the move.

Excellent post and I strongly agree. You can’t ask your children to live under the certainty of a possible move one day at an unspecified date. The choice needs to be either moving now, or when your youngest finishes secondary.

Uncertainty!

Take it and delay moving for a few years

That's a bit unfair and quite a nasty generalisation.
There are people of all backgrounds and cultures in Cambridge, far more diverse than the SW!
Your children will have much better opportunities and education.
The congestion charge is to reduce pollution and congestion in what is essentially medieval city.
The bus links run every 20 mins currently, and extensive cycle ways.
Addenbrookes staff can park free at the Babraham P&R and get the bus free from there.
Its free to go to and from the train station by bus for Addenbrookes staff - not sure about Papworth.
Cambridge North opened and they are building a new station near to Papworth, Addenbrookes and A Z.
Bus fares are £2 for a single anywhere from the outer villages into Cambridge until June.
Hopefully they will extend this.
My weekly commuting costs-zero as I walk or cycle .
Really not sure why you are so negative!

Depending on where you are in the SW and what your jobs are, I definitely wouldn't move away. The countryside, the sea etc. is so lovely to be near.

Move to your dream house. We moved 200 miles to be near our families and really wished we hadn’t bothered. We really don’t see that much of them, least before when we visited or they came to us we actually did things things together.

The congestion charge is going to make things very difficult for a lot of local residents, including me. But hey ho, as long as you can cycle everywhere on the shiny new paths that’s ok🙄