Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Property/DIY

Join our Property forum for renovation, DIY, and house selling advice.

Original poster

Offered our dream house but…

184 replies

Battleaxx · 01/04/2023 09:27

we were moving away!

So we have sold our house to a cash buyer, in preparation for a big relocation across the country to be near my parents in Cambridgeshire. We haven’t found a place there yet, it’s ridiculously expensive but we’re looking hard.

Yesterday I was called by an old friend who lives in a beautiful house in our town. It is our dream house and we’ve always said if we could choose any house that would be it: bright, spacious, lovely garden, on a lane and backing onto a nature reserve. Still within walking distance of school and work. There are only 3 houses on the lane and they never come up for sale. Friend is selling and said we could buy it privately and get a bit of a discount as she would save agent’s fees.

What do we do? It’s like handing in your notice and being offered a massive pay rise! We have very good reasons for relocating, primarily being closer to my parents but also more work opportunities. The flipside is that it’s more expensive and we’d be living in something much less good. We are settled where we are but had psyched ourselves up for the move, identified schools, got the kids on board, got family excited that we’ll be nearer etc.

OP posts:
determinedtomakethiswork · 01/04/2023 11:51

If your parents are still working then it isn't as though you'll be saving a lot of money I having free childcare, is it?

Thursdayschild7 · 01/04/2023 11:53

Relocate. You came up with compelling enough reasons to sell your house with a view to moving on. Move on. Who knows what new opportunities relocating may bring?

RegainingTheWill2023 · 01/04/2023 11:55

Where are you now and what are positives to being in this town (dream house aside)?

Realistically what are the barriers to moving in the future as pp have suggested? E.g dc ages and stages of education.

What do you want in your life now, in 10 years in 20 years?

Original poster
Battleaxx · 01/04/2023 12:05

Moving in 10 years would be tricky but not impossible. Kids would be in secondary. The motivation for moving nearer parents was general support rather than childcare, as here we have no family at all. We really like the area, houses are cheaper, quality of life is probably better than Cambridge but we wanted to move because we felt a bit isolated and limited in work opportunities.

OP posts:
owiz · 01/04/2023 12:08

I'm not spiritual...but a house in that much demand coming just as you're wanting to move....that feels like it's meant to be for me!

Original poster
Battleaxx · 01/04/2023 12:13

I know @owiz im trying hard not to tell myself stories about fate!

OP posts:
MarchMadness23 · 01/04/2023 12:23

That's not 'fate' that's just 'Sod's law'.

if you were feeling a bit isolated & wanted to be nearer family, then no matter how beautiful the house is, that's not going to change.

Getting a bigger mortgage - is that really a good idea?

moving schools once in secondary is much harder on the kids & you'll be missing 10 years ( or whatever) of living near family just for a prettier house. Is it really worth it?

yes your parents are younger, working & well, perfect time to spend time living near them. Much better for the kids than waiting until they need help!

I understand it's an opportunity that's hard to turn down, but I would in your situation. I'd go where I enjoyed living, near people I miss & where there's more opportunities for work and I'd do it now while it's easier to move the kids & get them settled befire Senior School.

Can you look at taking the mortgage in Cambridgeshire over a longer period and spending a bit more for a house you like more? But not totally over extending yourself? Or something that has a good base to extend on in a few years?

Build the life you want, don't just buy a pretty house would be my suggestion 🌷

Whowhatwherewhenwhy1 · 01/04/2023 12:27

Well it sounds like its meant to be as it has sort of fallen in your lap. Go for it and enjoy it and once the kids have finished school reassess and consider a move then. Explore opportunities to try new clubs and activities and get involved in some committees or school activities and you will make some new friends

RegainingTheWill2023 · 01/04/2023 12:28

From what you've said OP it sounds like you've felt 'something' was missing in your lives currently.
I guess the question is would your 'dream house' fill that gap?

I moved back to the expensive SE after living in the cheaper East Midlands. I honestly never thought I would but it turned out to be the right choice. Living near family made all the difference for me. But it's such a personal choice.

Roselilly36 · 01/04/2023 12:30

I would relocate and be near your parents OP. No house will ever be the dream, if it isn’t in the location you want to be in, property in Cambs is always going to be more expensive, whether you move this year or in a decade. Good luck OP.

ReallyShouldBeDoingSomethingElse · 01/04/2023 13:05

You like the area you live in.

I understand the feeling of living far away from family and the idea it would bring comfort to be closer by, regardless of tangible practical support.

How about really focusing on building your support network where you are. Over the years I've developed a brilliant support network of people, varying from neighbours, to friends, colleagues, to parents of other school kids etc. If I had to be whisked off to hospital, for example, there's a list of people I can call.

The thing you can't replace is the family Sunday lunches etc. and I know we would enjoy that with my parents and other family if we lived nearer. We visit generally 4 times a year for 1–2 weeks each time (I'm fortunate in that my work can travel with me.)

tiredpuppymum · 01/04/2023 13:13

Dream house

samantha0709 · 01/04/2023 13:18

I'd take the dream house. Lots of opportunities for remote working now. And if it doesn't go to plan you can reassess and maybe move a few years down the line.

But you wouldn't get the opportunity to live right there again probably. Cambridgeshire is really expensive.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 01/04/2023 13:19

if you will relocate in the future anyway, do it now. You are all set up, the kids are a good age. No point delaying it.

2bazookas · 01/04/2023 13:23

Could your parents fit in with you, in friends house in a lovely location?

confusedlots · 01/04/2023 13:29

Do you need the better job opportunities in the new area? Or have you got a good, stable job currently which you enjoy? Do you want to change jobs? Why are you moving to be near your parents? Support for yourself in terms of childcare etc, or to be there for ageing parents?

I'd be inclined to go for the house you love in the area you already live in and are settled in, however i obviously don't know enough about your situation to know if that will be the right decision for your family

Exl · 01/04/2023 13:34

If you have told your parents that you are definitely moving near them, and now you change your mind to get a nicer house, you’re going to damage your relationship with them very significantly. Basically you would be telling them that you like this house more than you love them. Not a I path would go down.

If you haven’t mentioned to your parents that you might move, that’s different.

But in general, I think changing all your plans just because your friend has decided to sell their house, is kinda dumb.

Exl · 01/04/2023 13:36

Battleaxx · 01/04/2023 12:13

I know @owiz im trying hard not to tell myself stories about fate!

There are also a lot of stories in which the hero is on his mission to save the day and then the bad guys tempt him to abandon his mission by offering him everything he ever wanted…

If he accepts the bad giys’ offer, it isn’t a happy ending.

pottydimley · 01/04/2023 13:51

boboshmobo · 01/04/2023 10:08

I'd take it and live in it for 10 years then move nearer your parents if needed . If they are still working then they are surely fine ?!

This makes good sense, and you'd probably make a good profit in ten years time.

Magnoliainbloom · 01/04/2023 13:52

owiz · 01/04/2023 12:08

I'm not spiritual...but a house in that much demand coming just as you're wanting to move....that feels like it's meant to be for me!

I feel the same. You sold your home to a cash buyer at the time you were going to shift to Cambridge. Seems like luck is shining down in you. This is such a lovely (but tough) dilemma to have. Good luck with your decision. Could it be rented out if you decided to move later?

Whatnowfgs · 01/04/2023 15:00

What @CheshireCats said x100
Kids and school moves can be very difficult

RandomMess · 01/04/2023 15:18

What happens if you parents are actually that supportive? It happens so often.

You'd be devastated.

Spiderboy · 01/04/2023 15:20

Buying a house from a friend sounds like a fallout waiting to happen

Gloschick · 01/04/2023 15:37

Are your parents definitely going to stick around? What if they retire in 5 years and decide to move to Cornwall? Then you will be left in a more expensive area, without your parents again.

darjeelingrose · 01/04/2023 16:05

Where are you now? I mean Cambridgeshire is ok, but you'd be going just for family and not really for anything else. Is where you live nice enough to make your family want to move to you? Or is it just the house?