Please critique my house before I put it on Rightmove.

[JamBiscuitBun]

Rarely available and new to the market, this detached, single storey dwelling has been lovingly maintained by the current owners.. and is competitively priced for those keen to get a toe-hold on the property ladder. Close to local amenities, (more trees and a stream) this convienient woodland location is perfect for those wishing to get back to nature. There's a few leaks in the roof which will be fixed before marketing. We're currently looking for a new front door in keeping with the original build. We have excellent relations with the neighbours (birds/rats/mice/squirrels and the odd fox). Central heating is provided by campfire. Comes complete with full planning consent for two dormer windows and a rear extension so long as traditional materials & construction methods are used. We've already had keen interest so early viewing is recommended.

Price: A keg of beer and a round of bacon butties...

Thankfully no. Though the young squirrels bouncing through the branches sometimes drive me bonkers.

@endoftheworldniteclub would that come up in the search?

We considered that but were told it would fail Building Regs if we did.

Could be listed as a free experience..

I've found the perfect buyer for you OP.

I like the blue/grey hints you can see through the ceiling.

Kitchen is a bit too rustic though.

I pride myself on my standards, we all wear shoes in the house..

Run a broom? Who needs a broom? This is an energy efficient house with positive air-flow technology. There's no need for a broom. The ventilation removes all dust.

Is there scope for extension out or up into the loft?

We have planning permission already for two dormers and a rear extension if you read upthread.

Is there somewhere to keep the lawnmower?

English Heritage just called. They're considering listing it as an exemplary of the architecture.

Thanks @JamBiscuitBun . Is the garden south-facing?

I think that you need to have words with the Estate Agent about the blurb. For some reason they haven't mentioned how many years are left on the NHBC warranty.

Oh OP, I love the colours you have chosen for the bathroom but suspect the building is of a non traditional construction and therefore difficult to get a mortgage. With the current cost of living crisis you may have to drop your price.

The garden is 360' it faces all ways

Are there any outstanding disputes with the neighbours we should know about?

I was thinking more about whether the front door faced north, @JamBiscuitBun. I should have been more specific.

😂

We've been awarded a Blue Plaque!!! Apparently, Sherlock Holmes used to hide out here when he was working on important cases..

You will only be able to stay for their for 28 days max out of 365 days or else you will need planning permissions and change of use and that's assuming you own the land rather than some rock fairied !

Helpfully, there is no lawn, only acres of dead leaves.

Any idea whether it would be suitable as a HMO? I'm looking for an investment property.

I love the bathroom

You need a bit of structural work above your runner bean pole though. Otherwise you will have to drop the price and negotiate.

Beer or Butties?

Stealth-boasting? 🧐

I've been considering a move to somewhere more rural to escape the hustle and bustle of London. Fancy a swap op?