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Please critique my house before I put it on Rightmove.

121 replies

JamBiscuitBun · 05/03/2023 18:00

Rarely available and new to the market, this detached, single storey dwelling has been lovingly maintained by the current owners.. Grin and is competitively priced for those keen to get a toe-hold on the property ladder. Close to local amenities, (more trees and a stream) this convienient woodland location is perfect for those wishing to get back to nature. There's a few leaks in the roof which will be fixed before marketing. We're currently looking for a new front door in keeping with the original build. We have excellent relations with the neighbours (birds/rats/mice/squirrels and the odd fox). Central heating is provided by campfire. Comes complete with full planning consent for two dormer windows and a rear extension so long as traditional materials & construction methods are used. We've already had keen interest so early viewing is recommended.

Price: A keg of beer and a round of bacon butties... Grin

Please critique my house before I put it on Rightmove.
OP posts:
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PlaitBilledDuckyPuss · 05/03/2023 18:28

What's the Council Tax band?

SomersetBrie · 05/03/2023 18:28

AlwaysGinPlease · 05/03/2023 18:02

I'd move the stick on the bottom left. Other than that it's lovely OP!

That stick in super annoying. I can't believe you're even considering a sale without dealing with it.

Mossstitch · 05/03/2023 18:28

Loving the waterfall shower in the bathroom🚿 but a bit worried about lack of🚽🤔

JamBiscuitBun · 05/03/2023 18:29

Wherethewildthymeblows · 05/03/2023 18:26

Has it passed a fire risk assessment?

Luckily the whole structure is too damp to ever catch fire.

OP posts:
JamBiscuitBun · 05/03/2023 18:30

PlaitBilledDuckyPuss · 05/03/2023 18:28

What's the Council Tax band?

The Council Tax band is F for 'free'

OP posts:
AlwaysGinPlease · 05/03/2023 18:32

I'm feeling pretty low about our sale falling through and this has really made me chuckle. Thanks op!

JamBiscuitBun · 05/03/2023 18:32

Matildatoldsuchdreadfullies · 05/03/2023 18:28

Are the local schools outstanding?

Funnily enough, there is a woodland early-years school just across the way. It's very sought after.

OP posts:
Echobelly · 05/03/2023 18:34

Needs a 'Live, Laugh, Love' poster.

Meandfour · 05/03/2023 18:34

WinterMusings · 05/03/2023 18:21

You need some potted pops if colour by the front door.

Haha you beat me to it.

MN loves some kerb appeal OP!

JamBiscuitBun · 05/03/2023 18:36

Can I say there's absolutely no truth in the rumours that it has a history of subsidence.

OP posts:
Matildatoldsuchdreadfullies · 05/03/2023 18:39

So now we’re down to the nitty-gritty. Price…?

JamBiscuitBun · 05/03/2023 18:42

Matildatoldsuchdreadfullies · 05/03/2023 18:39

So now we’re down to the nitty-gritty. Price…?

As quoted in the original blurb, offers over 'A keg of beer and a round of bacon butties'...

OP posts:
Matildatoldsuchdreadfullies · 05/03/2023 18:45

… Tries to think of some way to shame the OP for clarity in the original post.

Fails.

Slinks off, and sulks in corner.

MissingMoominMamma · 05/03/2023 18:46

Are you leaving the original flooring down?

I like the rustic look in the bathroom- very cleverly done.

caz114 · 05/03/2023 18:46

Why is the fox odd?

ApolloandDaphne · 05/03/2023 18:49

caz114 · 05/03/2023 18:46

Why is the fox odd?

Foxes are always odd. Never trust them. Sly or what?

SuperPurryAnimals · 05/03/2023 18:49

Hmm, the decor's a bit brown.

Sososocold · 05/03/2023 18:50

Do any of your neighbours have trampolines?

Vitriolinsanity · 05/03/2023 18:50

I think you can have too many sticks. Does it have a log burner?

MrsMoastyToasty · 05/03/2023 18:51

I'm so glad to see that you haven't ruined the facade with a tarpaulin and a couple of breeze blocks to anchor it, as so many have here.

JamBiscuitBun · 05/03/2023 18:52

MissingMoominMamma · 05/03/2023 18:46

Are you leaving the original flooring down?

I like the rustic look in the bathroom- very cleverly done.

😬My dh was keen to take it with us since he chose it himself. But we'd be happy to leave it as part of the fixtures & fittings if you paid extra for it. A 6-pack of pork scratchings to go with the beer should cover it.

OP posts:
Vitriolinsanity · 05/03/2023 18:53

Also, are you a shoes off house? Can you just run a broom? Can't see a roomba working too well. What are the schools like #dealbreaker

JamBiscuitBun · 05/03/2023 18:54

SuperPurryAnimals · 05/03/2023 18:49

Hmm, the decor's a bit brown.

Brown is in this year..

OP posts:
dapsnotplimsolls · 05/03/2023 18:54

Wrong shade of green.

endoftheworldniteclub · 05/03/2023 18:55

Is there an ongoing project called Blair Witch nearby?

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