Dream house dream kitchen anti-climax

[PicnicBunny]

So finally it’s time to buy our ‘dream home’ and renovate it and get the dream kitchen and …I feel depressed. We’ve been married for 30 years and lived in a fairly okay small starter home with garage and had two boys, struggling with our kitchen diner and eventually stopped entertaining family and friends because everything’s so cramped and messy now. Just shoes and books and toys everywhere.

I don’t want to move. We got the keys this week and DH is so happy. I was part of this process! I liked the house too! And we’ve been to some kitchen places and talked about designs.

But I just want to curl up and sleep for a very long time. I barely cook anymore just fast healthy meals whatever the boys like.

i’ve never had a dishwasher (no space) no tumble dryer and now I am angry that I will be too tired and old to entertain and have friends round and cook. I wanted this YEARS AGO! In my twenties! (I’m 47 now) And DH was always investing in some other property or restaurant or business that made sense at the time and now I want to just say I give up on the original dream. It’s not even a dream anymore. The dream kitchen. I don’t even have friends that entertain anymore.

I can’t imagine having even a single person round to eat because the boys are so exhausting with after school clubs and exams and piano lessons and I don’t even enjoy cooking. Mostly on my healthy eating plan and at the gym.

I feel like a teenage drama queen. I hate it. It’s been two days and I refuse to visit the house. I am / was a great cook, and had plenty of dinner parties before my kids were born. He thinks we’ll be entertaining like that again.

We are now on totally different wavelengths. I feel so tired even thinking about having family and in laws round. Lockdown was great for me because I finally stopped entertaining and realised how much I hate washing up and how easy it is to just be me and the two boys and dh.

When do I say, maybe we just buy three dishwashers and get the just-eat app and be done with it. Save ourself tons of money.

It’s been an extra exhausting week with mock exams and I have a sick 7 year old with coughing bug, is that why I feel like this or do I need to put my foot down.

I would rather have more holidays than spend on a house.

We have a third property that we do rent out and has gone up in price since we bought it. It will cover the cost of the renovations. Trying to get that valued and will sell that property.

We will rent out our house (home) in the park. Just so emotional because we bought it before we had children.

Has literally anything ever happened in this park over the decades you’ve lived there that explains your dh’s worry?

remember CGT

House in front of mine got robbed, they didn’t have an alarm and people had been watching the kids playing on their Xboxes from the park. Apart from that DH just thinks it’s quiet, too dark and creepy when it’s winter. I heard someone got flashed. I’m sure there are more incidents that happen. Personally I love it when it’s foggy and looks like Transylvania. I am careful when it’s too quiet and dark.

Kids and I tend to walk around more and meet the same lovely people walking with their dogs, and kids playing.

To me it is not dangerous. Well no more than a town centre is to a woman walking alone on a dark empty night.

I am an artist and design for a living. In the future I’d like to do more art and less designing. The park (leads to a river that runs across and woodland bits) is so wonderful. I take my camera out and go for walks and photograph regularly. I know we are not far away from it, a few roads down actually but actually visibly seeing trees and the park as it went through seasons was stunning. We sometimes just run out when the sun is setting over the trees and it just moved us sometimes like living inside a picture.

*I am an artist and design for a living.*will you have to endure the renovations whilst you work? Do you have any space to work?

We’ll stay here in our house and get the work done before we move in. Xx

It's an overwhelming time. OH moaned for a few years when we moved from a big house in the country to an urban one. BUT he wouldn't spend on the old one which was a bit of a money pit. The urban one had a brand new kitchen, bathrooms, was so easy to clean, the old one became a ball and chain for me. We'd gone from a big family to one son at home. Logically it was time. Emotionally difficult.

But you know what it's like decluttering very freeing. We've made new memories with grandchildren now

@Arrrrrrragghhh

(if my calculation is right) how is having her eldest at 34 'late in life'??

Oops sorry people!!

i hve a live/hate relationship with this new 'feature' of having similar threads listed underneath. They sound an interesting read so I click on them, then forget they're older!! 🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️

Anyway, now I've breathed life into it already 🙄🙄

@PicnicBunny how are you getting on??

House is almost finished now. @VinEtFromage it’s the same. We’ve totally remodelled it. Kitchen going in this week.

I totally understand the similar threads thing and have almost commented on threads and then see it’s from months back.

@PicnicBunny

oh that's progressed well!

how are you feeling about both houses now?