Moral dilemma

[PLNB31]

Hi just wanted a little advise, I have my house on the market as currently (been up for around 2weeks) looking for a bigger house for myself, husband and 4young boys . We are signed up to Rightmove, we want to stay in the current area we are in as our kids are settled in school. 3 days ago a property came up on Rightmove(added that day), My sister put the property on a family group chat and said she was going to see it, straight away I said I wanted to view that property also. My sister is very unhappy I said this and didn’t think I should view it as she was. We have now both viewed the property and both want to put in offers. My sister thinks I should be stepping back and not putting an offer in as she said she liked it first? Should I be putting my sisters opinion before doing what’s right for my family? Am I a bad person for putting an offer In?

@Tavannach lol this is what my husband said

But have you asked her if she is putting her house up for sale or can she buy this house without selling?

@tubbatops no she needs to sell

Honestly I'd say fine fine. You'd like to view anyway in case she doesn't like it your husband is just insisting!

Let her make an offer that isn't taken seriously because she isn't proceedable and let the vendors of the house tell her to jog on. Comfort her and say there there.

Meanwhile, get into discussion and make your offer if you like it.
If it's accepted say nothing - in a month or so say the first buyer pulled out and the EA knew you were proceedable and got in touch tp see if you were interested and you put an offer in and got it.

@Sushiroller the thing is I don’t think we have time to mess about it’s been on the market for 5 days there are currently 10 offers. Today it’s gone to best and final bids so we either pull out today or continue on

Op go for it! And good luck.
This may be your dream house. It may be your sister dream house. Who ever is meant to get the house will get it.
It might not even be either of you who purchase in the end.
Let us know how you get on

At this point the ball is in the sellers court- they have ten offers on the table, so it’s their choice, not yours or hers. Besides, I reckon she would be at the bottom of their list with a property still to sell. Has she even got a mortgage agreed?

@ButtonMoonLoon I don’t know about if she has a mortgage offer and the way she is being at the moment I wouldn’t ask either

@EmbarrassedWoman 10 offers =10% chance it’s so minimal but that’s all the houses where we live they go so quickly, we can’t afford to mess about

Buying and selling houses is a brutal process and disappointments are rife. Your sister could do with adopting a more robust attitude to it all.

Alls fair in love, war and property! Good luck and keep us updated

Make you’re offer but keep quiet, if you don’t get the house no harm done. If you do get it then cross that bridge when you come to it.

What I would do ASAP though @PLNB31 is put on the WhatsApp group that you are moving, you won’t call dibs on any houses that come up BUT you’re looking at ALL 2+ bed houses/bungalows in the local area priced 300-500 (for example) regardless of who else is interested and you will no longer be discussing your house move going forward.
FYI I think your sister is a dick, there’s no way she wouldn’t have known you’d be looking at this house so what she claims she would never do to you she has, in actual fact, already done.
Best of luck.

*your

@PLNB31

And she is not selling IF she doesn’t get this house - Surely this is emotional blackmail

That's not how buying a house works! Does that mean that if she does get round to putting her house on the market and finds a buyer, but the offer on 'the' house isn't accepted, she pulls out of the sale? Not emotional blackmail - stupidity.

I have a sister close in age and we often went to same job interviews etc. I have been asked this question directly (stupid I know)... Do you want the job or shall we give it to your sister? My response has always been. I want the job but if I don't get it I would rather my sister over everyone else. I consider this situation to be similar. Good luck with the purchase. Yadnbu

@Skyfatlass I did that the day my house was put up for sale! I put on the group we are moving but staying in the area!

Your sister has no proof she saw it first. In any case neither of you has sold yet. Certainly view the house. If you like the house put an offer in.

Idk, op, what do you want more, the house or a good relationship with your sister? What does she want more, the house or a good relationship with you? Would be interesting to hear this from her PoV too.

So OP has her house up for sale, with offers on it and no doubt an MIP.

Sister perusing rightmove sees a house she knows will also fit the criteria her sister is looking at, but hadn't even had her house valued, hasn't got her house up for sale, hasn't got any offers.

I can't believe she was even allowed to view it! Technically she is a time waster when she is not in a position to proceed at the point she viewed it.

Put your offer in. You cannot live like this for the next 6 months if you are both viewing houses in the same area. I never told anyone anything about where I was looking when I was moving years ago.

I constantly look at rightmove just to look at houses.

Today it’s gone to best and final bids so we either pull out today or continue on

In that case it's simple isn't it? If you haven't done so already, put an offer in and ignore what your dsis may or may not have done.

If your offer is not accepted, the issue goes away.
If it is accepted, you can then worry about how to deal with your dsis. Hopefully this will involve the estate agent telling her that only bids from those ready to proceed were considered.

There’s 10 offers, and neither of you have sold? This is a non-problem. Someone else’s offer will be accepted.

@Georgielovespie yes this is correct

@Didiusfalco regardless of who gets the house the dilemma between my sister and I is still the same

"There’s 10 offers, and neither of you have sold? This is a non-problem. Someone else’s offer will be accepted."

Exactly what Didiusfalco said. They won't pick either of you over someone SSTC.

@Murmurur the issue is not about who gets the offer accepted the issue is about why she believes she can tell me not to view or put an offer in on a house

[quote PLNB31]@Murmurur the issue is not about who gets the offer accepted the issue is about why she believes she can tell me not to view or put an offer in on a house[/quote]
You’d have been better off posting this in the Relationships board then.

As it’s in the Property board, I’ll just chime in with agreement that until you are SSTC, your offers won’t be taken seriously.