Made wrong move out of London. Help me get it right second time...

[backtothegrindstone]

The title says it all really. We moved out of London nearly 2 years ago to Dorking in Surrey. Its a pretty nice town, but we realised fairly quickly that it just wasn't the right fit for us, and after a lot of soul searching, we've decided that we'd like to move again whilst the kids are still young enough to get over it, with the aim of finding somewhere we can call home for good. There's nothing massively wrong with Dorking, but neither of us can imagine spending the rest of our lives here. There's just too many small elements missing and when you add them all together it makes one big reason not to stay. But I'm terrified of moving again and making the same mistake again. And there are just so many places we could go that I just don't know where to start. I'm hoping people could give me some ideas for places that might be a good fit for us, so I can start looking again?

We were really happy in London as we had a good circle of friends and a nice house, but we didn't really go into central London anymore and spent more and more time in our local neighbourhood. As more and more of our friends started to move out we had less and less reasons to stay and wanted a less hectic lifestyle for our boys. Now we've left, we are fairly sure we don't want to move back to London, but the move out has made us realise that there are a few 'city' things we can't live without that we're just not finding in Dorking. I'm hoping we can find at least most of them somewhere a bit greener and cleaner than London.

So negatives about Dorking for us have been that it's just a little too 'countrysidey' for us. We don't ride horses or have a dog or go mountain biking and we don't really feel like we quite fit in here. We've found the high street just a bit lacking in nice clothes shops and restaurants (especially non-chain restaurants, ideally ones that do brunch!), and it feels like a lot of stuff has closed down even in the 2 years we've been here. We've also really struggled to find a suitable house to buy here (we're looking for a 4+ bedroom detached period house with a decent sized garden within walking distance of the mainline station).

Ideally we're looking to move to a reasonably pretty and leafy 'commuter' town within an hour commute of London (preferably from a station with a minimum of 2 trains an hour) where you don't have to drive to do everyday stuff. Essentials include a supermarket, some decent cafes for brunch and lunch, some nice family friendly pubs, a private gym with a pool nearby, maybe a few decent boutiques and some facilities for kids like parks, playgrounds etc. Oh, and decent schools are a must. Other awesome bonuses would be access to Uber, a reasonable selection of takeaways, some decent bars/pubs and maybe a cinema.

Our house budget is reasonably health, and we're happy to go back within the M25 as long as it still feels green and leafy.

Am I asking the impossible?

Hitchin is lovely and sounds like it could fit your criteria

I loved growing up in Farnham. Used to visit Guildford a lot on the bus and then London regularly on the train as an older teen.

Has anyone said Windsor?

Love Windsor. Especially if you can afford to buy where you can walk into the centre.

Maidenhead?

I think Teddington would tick all your boxes.

Personally I think Teddington too small, too many planes for OP!

Guildford, Kingston, Surbiton, Esher. I'd move to Esher if DH would let us move again!

Here's a thought: how about spending £400k on a flat in London, then £800k on a house in the country? That way, your kids get exposure to London when they're at uni or starting their careers without being hobbled by rip off rents, you also have the possibility of renting out the London flat if your finances change. The thing about London life is you don't need a big garden, you just need a crashpad. Yes, there's additional stamp duty, but after £1m the stamp duty becomes fairly punitive anyway. Just throwing a curve ball in there...

Ah, thanks @leafyhouse, but we already have some BTL property in London. We're just looking for a home now, definitely OUT of London.

Don’t know if this would be of interest.

Actually know the road. You couldn’t get more green or leafy yet within under 1 hour door to central London.

Only issue is any snow and the road is virtually impassable.

www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-61950180.html

Ah thanks @oliversmumsarmy but we’re not in a position to move at the moment. Just tossing the idea around.

I lived near Dorking for years, now live far far away. I think you are quite lucky there to be honest.
Brighton is awful, looks superficially nice but it isn't. I've worked there and loathed every second plus drugs everywhere, not great for growing children.
Haywards Heath, Lewes, Horsham, all awful. Guildford I wouldn't live in, I worked there for two years. Woking, vile, my friend lives there and I go there a lot.
You would probably be better going back over the M25 and back to London.
I've also lived in Bedford and the midlands and it can be grim in places, as you can see I'm really fussy. Tring is the only place I love round there but might be too quiet for you.
I'd probably go back over the M25

Winchester. No need to pay for private school there as the state provision is good. I would live there in a heartbeat if I had the need to live in that part of the UK.

£1.2 Mil would get you a mansion with literally acres of land where I live. It's a 2.5hr commute direct to Kings Cross, and I know many people who do this every day as the price of living is cheaper. Would that be a option?

@PutYourBackIntoit oh wow that is stunning! I love everything about it!

@IronManisnotDead oh god, no! I can't understand how anyone could do that unless they really have no other options. It would literally kill me, plus would mean us never seeing the kids. A big part of the 'no more than an hour from London' thing is because we really relish our family time and want to be sure we can pick the kids up from school every day. We also don't do 9-5 jobs and have rather erratic hours that change at short notice, so need to be on a regular and frequent train service. Anyway, we really don't need a mansion, there's only 4 of us.

Me too IronMan. Shame my budget might only buy the little loo!

But Kemble is great option, station with fast trains to London but in lakes area of Cotswolds. Cirencester Deer park school would be catchment. Buy a flat in London, not to BTL but as your own to use when you fancy.

The other thing you may be in a position to be able to consider is buying stunning property out of London (not using full budget) and not doing London jobs or reducing hours instead?

We moved from East Dulwich to Stroud a little while back. We have reduced our mortgage, and my hours. Our work life balance is a dream. DH cycles to a local job. I work from home as a consultant when I choose to. We're all at home by 5.30 each day. It did take a fair bit of adjusting, but I couldn't go back now.

Surbiton has a better train service into London than Kingston.

What about Sevenoaks? Good commute to London, pretty town it's about Dorking size with clothes shops such as Mint Velvet, Oliver Bonas, White Stuff plus some independent boutiques, lots of places to do lunch/brunch, good local authority pool but has a good country club just outside with gym, pool, spa and golfing (nizells), Waitrose and M&S in Sevenoaks and a huge Tesco & Sainsburys just outside (in Otford) and you're near London and also you are still near the countryside for walks and country pubs. Plus Kent has lots of good schools inc grammar schools.

Thanks @putyourbackintoit. Sounds like you have a nice life that you love. Probably not for us however- we really enjoy our jobs (I’m run my own business and already dictate my hours to some extent so home by 3 to pick up the kids anyway) and not looking to make a life change, just a slight locational one. Also really quite like being near London even if we don’t want to live there anymore

If train times are important, I'd really consider St Albans - 20 minutes to Kings Cross, then on to Farringdon, City Thameslink and Blackfriars within 30ish. It's what swung it for us. And I'm not saying it never has problems, but not to the extent Southern Rail seems to. They do get rammed, mind.

Schools are excellent - you'd have to work hard to find a bad one - and in recent years many of the chain restaurants have closed down and we've gained some lovely independents. Lots of nice parks, a leisure centre, beautiful cinema, easy access to London AND the countryside, fab markets - and did I mention 7 theatres??

Your money won't go as far as in some places mentioned, but for your budget you could still get something lovely.

OP, you sound like you'd love the area at the end of the Met Line in the Chilterns- eg Tring / Berkhamsted? I am similar to you (still in London) and always think that area offers the best of both worlds with countryside and convenience.

That's understandable backtothegrindstone, and great you enjoy your work. It's a great example for the children!

Have you looked at Haslemere? Friends of ours live there and love it.

Kingston, Surbiton, Guildford, Teddington.

Have you looked at Haslemere?

It's an hour just on the train, which when you factor in getting to the station, and whatever journey you need to do from Waterloo to the office, can very quickly become 1hr30m/1hr 40m each way.

Cambridge has a lot of what you want, though you won't get a detached 4 bed within walking distance of the station for £1.2m. But you could get something like this, both less than 10 mins walk to the station:
www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-71276032.html
or this for a bit more than your budget
www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-81009941.html