Things you would NEVER want in your house:

[AlphaBravoHenryFoxtons]

I'll start.

A kitchen island.
A hall console table.
A corner sofa.
New rugs.

I am thinking of getting a plumbed-in Miele coffee machine.

Mine;

Bidet (we have 2, utterly pointless)
UPVC front/back doors
Leaded windows (either modern fake versions or the real ones they just make rooms dark)
Conservatories of any kind (neither one thing nor the other, I'd rather have a proper extension or nothing at all. Plus, the strong sunlight ruins furniture, warps wood and fades fabric)
Open tread staircases (they give me the fear, especially ones with no carpet)
Spiral staircases. (Again, it's a fear thing)

I wouldn't want a sofa that doesn't have removable washable covers. Or a carpet in areas where food is served (like the one we have now).
We also have white metro tiles in the kitchen, thanks to previous owners. I find them quite inoffensive.

I now have the urge to post a picture of my toilet seat, which most people will hate.

Another! We have found our dream house though, it is stunning with one drawback.

It has a hot-tub outside

Those tiles really are the outer edge of hideousness.

Oh, another thing I have which I know ruins the look of the place, but I still love it, is my retro-tastic clutter. It looks like a Hoxton car boot sale round my gaff, but I love it all too much to get rid

You know what I envy and actually always wanted? When I was a kid we had no readies and this big old house, so my parents filled it with stuff left over from building jobs and tatted bits and bobs-- my dad built my bed out of an old chemlab store cupboard with gymnasium ladders put up for rails and so on. It was a crazy house. Anyway, in the scullery and the breakfast room the tiles were scrapped tiles from old pubs my uncles had refurbed, so we had all these strong green and red Victorian colours, and the tiles had this amazing texture, or like, grapes coming out of them, haha. I loved those colours so much. They really remind me of home.

Sometimes when I go in pubs in the NW it's like I'm right back in my childhood - I can reach out and touch it. I would love to have those tiles in my kitchen. Not actually enough to pay "salvo" prices now, jeez, but still: I envy those who do a bit. DH would never have it but I'd have deep dark green Victorian tiles all up the walls in our kitchen, right up. I really would.

bodingading, that sounds fantastic - like something out of a novel

Artex, ornaments, wallpaper, any paint colour other than White on the walls, carpets anywhere, Jacuzzi bath, sauna, bread bin, toaster and Laminate flooring. Out side I would not have a hot tub, monkey puzzle tree and chrysanthemums. The last 2 I find creepy.

On the subject of "things I've always wanted" I still hammer after a hostess trolley. With removable trays to serve from. Our neighbours had one and I thought it was the height of glamour!

Got to say, so long as house has warmth & personality I'm fine with it. Can't be doing with painfully tasteful.

Someone I know has just had a "painfully tasteful" kitchen fitted - no handles, no stuff, no colour. It looks like the perfect place to conduct an autopsy.

I know one of those kitchens - nothing is on display; nothing at all. Not only is the entire kitchen in flat gloss panels, but they've continued the look throughout the ground floor. Cleaning must be a breeze - it looks like you could just hose it down.

Remote controls for TV, can we please go back to having buttons.

Any of the family antiques old tat that PIL have cluttering up their house, and have hinted that one day will all be ours!

Squeezy I'm laughing - my pil have those leaded windows and an open tread spiral staircase.

I have a hostess trolley. I was about 30 when I bought it. It's teh ugliest thing ever and I go to great lengths to keep it hidden from view but two or three times a year it's an absolute godsend.

holly - gahhhhhhhhhhh

• a pot with manky used tea bags in

• I have a loo brush and leather sofas (the horror!!)

Oh god - I have just this afternoon invested in a new food recycling caddy from Lakeland. It says "Peely Bin" on it and I am planning it to be out on the work surface Oh the horror...

Oops crossed post with another horror

Vases of flowers in disused fireplaces. Or even worse, dried flowers.
Someone once suggested I put dried flowers in one of my fireplaces and I banned them from ever visiting again

I think most of you would find my house ghastly, simply ghastly.

I wouldn't Hestor, I have a massive telly AND a leather corner sofa

I have a hostess trolley. It used to be my grandmother's. You pull a little handle on it and it flips down to turn into a table.

Best. Thing. Ever.

I want no Artex in my house, ever. We have loads, thanks to the previous owners. Who the fuck Artexes the ceilings in a Georgian house? (Answer: The same people who put carpet up the side of the bath in one en-suite, and paint the old roll-top bath in the other in custard yellow, black and red with gold toenails on the claw feet.)

I have flowers in one f my fireplaces

@ theHuge

Simmering with jealousy at takes of hostess trolleys (the feminist in me should hate them just for their name but I crave one all of my own)

I also want no dado rails.

I have many dado rails.

at OTheHugeManatee and your many dado rails!