Private school affordability - advice!

[jsemamma]

Hello,

Our DS has done fantastically and gotten an 11+ offer from one of the top London independent schools - we're so proud of him. However we seem to be in the difficult position of earning too much to be able to get a bursary, but in real terms having very limited disposable income, by the time we pay our mortgage and bills (we live in central London so mortgage payments are high).

We're now in the awful position of having to figure out what to do. DS absolutely adored the school, and would love to go to it - he is incredibly clever and very musical so would benefit hugely from everything it has to offer. He does understand though that financially it would be extremely difficult.

I wanted to ask those of you with children in top London independent schools (think fees around £31k per year) - how much disposable income per month do you realistically need to be able to cover the fees? Apart from music, are there extra charges for extracurricular activities like clubs and sports etc, or are these included in the fees?

Our household income is ~£130k gross and we have a fairly hefty mortgage. We also have another DC, and both DCs are currently in a state primary. We have one (old second-hand) car, don't take fancy holidays, and are not into luxuries. I realise every family is different, but just wondering whether we would be stretching ourselves far too much trying to give him this opportunity. Any advice welcome!

You’ve chosen to spend on mortgage, so unless you’re willing to hugely downsize, it is what it is. You can’t afford it. Time to get plan B in order and stop being completely unrealistic.

@Notonyours unless you’re getting massive parental handouts (or bought a long time ago) it is impossible to buy a London house without a massive mortgage even if you earn extremely well. The suggestion that it’s somehow a choice is really frustrating tbh.

I’ve done everything “right” in that I made it from growing up in a single parent household on benefits to a very highly paid career in the city, but with no parental support of any form needed to borrow a lot to buy a family home (and I mean an uninhabitable 3 bed terrace in one of London’s most deprived boroughs by that).

My mortgage is over 4k a month. Yes, we could move further out but factoring in stamp duty, travel costs (and time), and the fact that with 2 kids of different sexes there’s a limit to how much we can actually downsize, the savings are not significant. And btw I earn over a quarter of a million pounds a year.

By contrast there are people who live on my street in identical houses who work in cafes or the NHS but whose houses or deposits were gifted by parents or bought 20 years ago. The imbalance is shocking.

Exactly this. Well said @BurningOutt

On observation of friends and family members. On the accounts of public figures. And last but not least, on a knowledge of human nature.

This is so true. When money is passed down it opens so many doors. Most of the people I know who use private school have had some sort of leg up. Or the grandparents pay the fees.

It takes a lot of effort to raise kids in the UK - especially if no family help. Daily school runs, a life with constraints before 9 and after 5, money diverted to various toys/gadgets/rapidly grown-out-of clothes before we get to private fees. The effort involved contributes to many deciding they do not want kids. Any child thinking about these things 'could' feel indebted. We dont see parents choosing neglect instead though ...

Well, if you consider not sending your children to private school to be neglect, then you might have a point….🤣

We are similar to family and I thought worth sharing how we are doing it for anyone considering it in future.

DC1 is already in private, costing 18k ish a year now with the VAT (not London). DC2 is now starting this year too. Our income is similar to yours OP at 130k combined, our mortgage is perhaps lower (£1500) and that’s the only way we can scrape by…

We have a small amount of savings but we are not planning to use them. We plan to release equity in our house as we have a fair bit of that and possibly take a mortgage holiday of 3-6 months if we need to. We have two years crossover of both kids being in school at the same time, that’s when those levers will be pulled if and when we need to. If we live frugally and income stays solid we won’t need to do those things but having them as back up has meant I feel moderately comfortable about the decision. And if we get really fed up by the lack of holidays and ‘fun’ we will do it.

the other thing I’ve done is while DC1 is there solo I’ve saved £500 a month ready for those crossover years. Realistically it’s not all going to go on school but it’s enabled a buffer of a full year of fees in the bank. That has meant frugal ish living for the last 2.5 years as well as the even more frugal two years we are just on the brink of.

would I choose it again?? Maybe not but the state option where I am is really pretty dire. We live in a lovely area and decided the choice for us was either buying a different house (during Covid) in a better catchment which would’ve cost us at least an extra 200K on our mortgage or spending that kind of money on education, which is what we have chosen to do. Had we bought a bigger house in good catchment we wouldn’t have been able to do this because the mortgage would be £800-1000 more a month minimum and we wouldn’t be able to release equity. As it is we’ve had our house 13 years and built a reasonable amount to draw on as it’s doubled in value.

We are also only doing private for 5 years, not staying for sixth form again to reduce costs.

if I had three children it wouldn’t be possible. Grandparents also contribute a small amount which covers trips (approx 1k a year).

And I appreciate there is absolutely no way whatsoever that we could afford this living in London.