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Private school

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Original poster

Looking for a new private school + area for DC (7 & 4) — single working mum, want diversity not elitism

155 replies

mumcf1987 · 06/12/2025 21:32

Hi all,

I’m hoping for some advice from anyone who knows schools/areas around the Cotswolds, Oxford or New Forest/Winchester.

I’m a single working mum with two DC (7 and 4). Dad contributes but day-to-day it’s very much just me. They’re currently in a private school near Ascot but it’s extremely elitist — we just don’t fit in. Hardly any mums work, the environment is very privileged, and it’s just not the type of upbringing I want for my two.

I’d like a school that:

  • Has bursaries/scholarships available – not because I need one, but because schools that offer them tend to have a more diverse, grounded mix of families.
  • Isn’t ultra-pushy or status-driven, but still offers good academics and pastoral care.
  • Ideally has a strong community feel, where working parents aren’t an anomaly.
  • Goes through to 18 preferably.

I’m also looking to move house, so I’m open to relocating within about 1 hour from Ascot, but not towards London as I need better value for money housing-wise. Areas I’m considering:

  • Cotswolds
  • Oxford / Oxfordshire villages
  • New Forest
  • Winchester

If anyone has recommendations for schools or specific towns/villages with a down-to-earth vibe, good state options nearby (just in case) and safe communities for young kids, I’d really appreciate it.

Thank you!

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Meadowfinch · 14/12/2025 13:30

XelaM · 12/12/2025 01:11

I speak as a single working mother who has put her kid through private education since reception (now thankfully coming to the end of it in Year 11).

With the introduction of VAT, the only people you will find in private schools nowadays are either the very(!) wealthy, stuck like me waiting for their kid to finish GCSEs and run to the state sector or kids with significant SEN. Ordinary working middle class families are opting for state, so you won't find many sticking around in the private sector.

I think you're absolutely mad to go down the private route with two primary-aged kids. It's a complete and utter waste of money that you will never see a return on.

This only applies where the state alternative is functioning relatively normally.

Where the local comprehensive is awash with bullying, dire results, depressed teens and recently an arson attack (nice!), every middle class parent I know is trying to find an alternative - any alternative. The issue with rural areas is often there is only one state school, and where that is poor, private schools will flourish.

11plusNewbie · 14/12/2025 19:24

Snackerbacker · 14/12/2025 08:38

The vast majority of people don’t give a shit about vat on private school it only affects 7% of kids. Rejoining the eu would be deeply unpopular seeing as the people voted to leave and we’re supposed to live in a democracy

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actually a lot of the people who voted for brexit are actually dead now ! and fair few of the others have actually learned their lesson from it

Soundofshuna · 16/12/2025 20:58

What about Bath. Plenty of working Dr mums at all the schools there!

SheilaFentiman · 20/12/2025 13:17

XelaM · 14/12/2025 00:46

Very much wishful thinking on your part. It's unfortunately a very popular tax on the "rich", which the vast majority of people support and only negatively affects a small proportion of the population. I also wouldn't raise your hopes that the UK will ever rejoin the EU (at least not anytime soon).

I would love for both to happen, but it's utopian thinking.

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Agree that we wouldn’t be rejoining the EU even with a Lib Dem landslide- why would they want us back when most major political parties don’t support it and a sizeable chunk of the population don’t want it.

ibeka · 04/01/2026 22:30

Not sure if you’re still following the thread but definitely Crosfields. Sixth form due to open 2028. Very down to earth, incredibly mixed and excellent academic results as well as pastoral care.

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