Private schools - Are you all rich

[Whatsitreallylike]

Divisive I know, and not a popular MN thing to say (name changed), but I want to send my DD to a local private school.

Its 4-11 only, and is known to be a feeder school to the local grammar (nothing guaranteed of course) so I’d like to give it a shot. I know a lot of 11+ tutoring is also required etc.. and if unsuccessful DD will likely be going to local comp secondary if not grammar as nothing else really around (no private secondaries for some distance).

Heres the question, will my DD be bullied for not being ‘rich’.
We have a combined income of £170k pa and not huge outgoings so we’re comfortable, but we’re not rich. We live in a 3 bed semi, have a few investment properties but on the face of it we’re very average. We can afford the extra curricular, school trips, clothes etc… but wondered what average looks like at these schools and will she be faced with comments like ‘you have a small house’, ‘your mums car is 5 years old’ etc… I don’t want her to be an outsider and would rather her at the local state school if she’d be more comfortable there.

With it being a grammar ‘feeder’ I imagine many parents may be in a similar boat to us, comfortable but not flash, investing early in education and hoping for the best. If your kids go to a 4-11 independent school, could you please tell me if I’m right or wrong to be worried please?

Sadly some people can't imagine any existence/experience other than their own

i work in private. A lot of the grandparents pay for the kids to go private. There are some that are on bursaries. No one can tell tbh.
Also depends how much the private school is going to cost per year, including VAT £20k+ a year minimum. Get uniform from second hand uniform through your parent association.

The issue is not whether people earn in excess of £200k per household, the issue is those who do then have the temerity to suggest they are financially STRUGGLING! Thats taking the pi$$

We would be a lot richer if we hadn't sent our kids to Private school

I agree, it's also disturbing how these wealthy types have little or no social awareness which would also suggest they are thick! Yet Rich!

It's not humble bragging, it's literally answering the OPs Q. Why do you find it so hard to believe that a household income can be 200K?

That poster wasn't questioning the income.... she questioned earning 200k and only affording a few days holiday in the UK. thats a little unusual.

Well if they are paying for school fees then I say it is completely understandable. 2 people earning collectively £200K will be paying a decent chunk of tax which is obviously deducted from take home salary.
It all depends whereabouts in country they live + size of mortgage. The fact some can't understand this is worrying

Can't be that think if they are earning salaries above average!

I live in London so understand high mortgages & tax & fees. I repeat it's unusual to only be able to afford a few days annual leave in the UK on that income & of course having a very high mortgage is a choice.

The fact some can't understand this is worrying

The irony, my 5 yr old has better comprehension.

I can see why people who are not on that salary might find it difficult to understand that I’m not rolling in it. It’s because our tax system is broken. To put it simplistically, at our salaries our take home pay after tax, NI and pension contributions is 50%. So if we earn £200k, we’re taking home £100k and do not have the benefit of a lot of the tax breaks that two people on £99k might have - child benefit, a tax free personal allowance or tax free childcare.

Private education is expensive and very much a lifestyle choice. If I didn’t choose it for my child, I would have circa £25k extra a year. To pay £25k in schooling I have to earn £50k.

Because of where I live, my 3 bed semi cost me £1m and my mortgage payments are £48k a year. To pay £48k, on my salary I need to earn just shy of £100k. I could obviously move “up north” and buy a 3 bed semi for 2p instead, but I also wouldn’t earn the same salary.

It is all about choices. Some people might prefer to spend the £25k school fees on holidays. So when I say I can’t afford to go on holiday, what I mean is I choose to spend the money that others spaff on holidays on education.

@BellesAndGraces I certainly haven't said you are rolling in it! I have repeatedly argued on her that wages are low, the frozen tax bands need to move up and the cliff edges are wrong

I m just challenging some of your narrative, why do you need to move up north for example?

So when I say I can’t afford to go on holiday, what I mean is I choose to spend the money that others spaff on holidays on education.

So you agree with what others are pointing out? 😆

It's also quite unusual in terms of my experience of PE to pay out of direct income. Normally higher earners save, invest etc in preparation

I’m clearly not a high enough earner then …

You answered your own question: I live in London so understand high mortgages & tax & fees.

The word you're looking for is "Thick"

Oh please, obviously a typo and I can't edit. Are you always this supercilious?

@BellesAndGraces but there are plenty of houses in London that don't cost 1m...

I’m clearly not a high enough earner then …

You are according to the stats. But maybe not enough for private school. We can't afford it and have more than 1dc.

We pay for private education out of salary. I doubt it’s unusual - even if it’s a minority that do, it would be a sizeable minority. Unless you have stats to the contrary?

Do you?

If that was addressed at me - yes.

Can you share the stats then?

I'm just basing it on my experience as a bursar & within that community, friends & families, threads on here, articles in the paper but I don't believe it's something the government collates?