Daughter had her hair cut at school by another pupil.

[Nicola1983]

Hi there,

Just wanted to get everyones opinion please. On Friday just past i was called over to my daughter class teacher at the end of the school dya to say that another pupil had taken a pair of scissors and cut her hair. I was shocked to say the least but i was told it wasnt all that noticable and that the child in question had had their privillage time taken off them. At this point i may piont out the children in question are 4 and 5 years old.

On further inspection when i got home i could see the extent of the damage and i could have cried. Its awful. My daughter has long hair and right at the back near the crown she now has a clump of hair that is no more that than 1 inch in length. Both she and i are devestated that another child could behave this way to another pupil.

My husband marched up to the school to speek to the headmaster about it and both the class teacher and he headmaster said they would put it in writing to us as to how they are going to deal with this but to be honest im still not happy.

Having spoken to my daughter and other children in the class they were all sitting on the carpet listening to another teacher and the little boy in question ot up, went and got a pair of scissors and just cut off a chunk of my little girls hair - fully intentionally. When i asked what happend to the boy my daughter and her friends told me the teacher told him that that wasnt a very kind thing to do and he was removed from the class to sit int hte quiet room until he could learn how to behave.

My other concearn is that only i was informed about the incident. The parent of the little boy in question were not told about this at all and were allowed to go home and carry on as normal. I have written a letter to his parents telling them what i think about it all and that i will be seeking further action. Had this been an older child within the school, without any question they would have been suspended.

I am now debating weather or not to send my child back to school now. I mean what next - he takes another pair of scissors and stabs her in the eye with them??????

Anyway - any advie or guidlines etc would be much appreciated.

Thanks in advance.

Nicola

Funny how the extra info comes out now OP.

nicola she was safe and unharmed. her hair was cut. it caused her no pain. apart from her vanity which you seem to encourage.

also, if your letter contained the same number of spelling mistakes and grammatical errors as that long post, then i would quite frankly have thought it was a piss-take.

agree with the stealth suggestion. you should really give all facts in your OP.

They are just small,it happens.

Robert White cut my pigtail off with the teachers pinking shears one christmas,did my mum write a letter to his mum?

No,she approached her in the playground and told her what had happened Mrs White apologised and offered to pay for haircut....it was the 70s!! the nearest we got to a haircut was Aunty Sheilas cos she had the sharpest scissors - Mrs White got away with it lightly cos my mum was a rough old bird and would in other situations have not hesitated in leathering that mother in full view of me and my mates .

The fault doesnt lie with school although im curious to see how it happened at story time too......as a parent its our responsibility to teach our children about safety and indeed niceness- at 5 they dont understand actions and consequences....so seeing as you cant borrow my mum or beat the mother up yourself or even sue the school - you just got to accept its over.

Your coming across slightly hysterical and if you have sent that letter expect the other mum to be rather annoyed with you,theres 'ways' of speaking to other mums.

By the way as your so new to all this and im not your dd wont always get to be Mary in the nativity either.

Teach your daughter that there are more important things in life than her hair and you'll be doing her a favour in the long run.

Mary's the worst part anyway. She never has any lines!

Lol shaz,having worked in schools that the one thing about Christmas I dont like.....who is the chosen one.

op you would be better off removing your daughter and putting her in private school as sadly this is what happens when 30 5 yr olds are put together and not enough teachers/assistants to supervise...as they (5yr old)dont know what they are doing (i mean consequences). Smaller private schools get the level of supervision and disipline that you are thinking of...sad but true!

This boy I cannot judge but you say all the parents are having trouble with him...is he being scapegoated is my first question or does he have SNs ie very intelligent and bored so causes trouble or copying behaviours (abuse at home?). It could be anything, even an undiagnosed disorder....which ever it is not his fault!

You must complain though as this will help the boy get the level of support he needs maybe a 1:1 if he is causing trouble all the time like you say. This could only give stability to the boy, your daughter and you plus rest of the class...a parents complaint of other child's behaviour is far stronger than own parents worry of behaviour....as the parent often gets labeled as making it up about their own child and being over protective etc....so yes complain it may help everyone...it has totally changed the contexts though OP as you never mentioned these other episodes which totally changes the story you told initially! So it not fair you critise the feedback you were given...as you have had some great advise here!

DOES NOBODY CARE ABOUT MY PIGTAIL AND THE PINKING SHEARS?????

nickchick you made me laugh

Its not funny tho they didnt even leave neat little zig zags .

aw nickschick I hope you aren't permanently traumatised. Snigger at Aunty Sheila's scissors!

Bloody hell! If someone wrote me a letter like that I'd be terrified.... it makes you sound like a complete obsessive. It's HAIR! And as booyoo said "apart from her vanity which you seem to encourage" your DD has not been hurt.

Maybe this child has issues that are being dealt with. You have NO idea what the school's strategy for this boy is. And you have no right to demand to know either.

Nicola
I think if you'd said that your DD had regularly been bullied and this incident was one of a long list of behaviours targeted agaisnt your DD...then you would have had a different reaction. Writing to a parent is still the wrong thing to do in my opinion.
My DD has been punched - yes punched twice by a boy in school who is very aggressive. He doesn't target my DD he is just generally aggressive with kids. We have been to the head the second time as my DD had a bruise round her eye where he had struck her. I think like someone else has suggested, he actually fancies my DD as he keeps asking her to be his girlfriend...little boys are different from girls and can have issues in social interaction - some do need a lot of help. However, seriously, the head has reassured they are keeping a close eye on him and have regular meetings about this sort of thing. Perhaps you could ask the head what are they doing to address your safety concerns with regards to your DD. Nobody thinks bullying is acceptable and I know how you feel - however if you don't go about it the right way you go from being right to being wrong.
Hope you can take some on the advice on here and help you to get the best outcome for you and your DD. Good luck.

Emy as a mum of 3 boys I have to point out that its not just little boys that can have difficulties little girls do equally.

I am touchy on blaming boys all the time - its my self esteem - Robert White took it..

oh gosh little girls can be the most vicious bullies; not necessarily so physical as boys but still just as damaging.

well I have two boys too so I know what you mean. all I am saying is that little boys tend to be a little more physical, not that they are nastier lol

Aahh - this is about way more than the hair. And, in fairness, if you'd provided all that info in your original post I think you'd have got a very different response!!

The reason I was blase about my DD getting cut by scissors was because the little girl who did it wasn't bullying her and was usually quiet and well behaved - it was a blip.

I wouldn't be blase about the catalogue of rough behaviour you describe though. I can totally see how this would be the last straw and you now want the school to take firmer action.

I hope you get somewhere with your complaint and they start helping this boy/giving him much better supervision.

Perhaps, if your dd has long hair, it should be tied uop at shools - I thought most schools advised this?

I do think that had you put the info about the bullying in your OP (and stuck around to see what people were posting) then you would not have got the reaction that you did.

Of course your DD should be protected from bullying, but there are ways of going about that.

Start a thread asking for advice, there are all sorts of things that you can do. Such as making an appointment to speak to the teacher, asking about the school's anti-bullying policy, speaking to the headmistress if you don't feel that the issue is being addressed well.

Contacting the parents of the boy is not the right way to do things, they are going to be protective of him. Let the school deal with it and take it further if you feel that they are not doing so properly.

I daresay the boy thought he was helping, having heard the teacher suggest that your daughter's hair was too long to be left loose.

The problem lies in whether or not one chooses to believe the hair-cutting was the budding of a future career in a little boy, or a malicious attack aimed to ruin a little girl's life.

Probably a bit of both. Boy stares at hair, thinks how interesting it would be to snip a bit. Boy gets fed up of always being in the wrong and labelled a bully so thinks 'what the hell!' if he gets told off.

I still stick by what I posted previously, regardless of the bullying, I just can't get past the hair cutting. Would those who had said it was nothing and get over it, say the same if it was a teacher posting about the little boy cutting her hair?

Teacher wouldn't just sit there while child cut her hair.

Op, I'd be slightly annoyed as well, but not to the extent of taking my child out of school. Did your daughter just sit there and let the boy cut it? Seems likely to me. He wouldn't have pinned her down.

DS1 came home from school (Reception year) once with his jumper full of obvious scissor marks all over it. He told me another child had done it. When I questioned his teacher about it, he said that DS1 and this child had sat there during free time and cut each others jumpers. . The teacher was busy with some other children when it happened. I made DS1 wear his jumper, refused to buy him a new one. The school though took pity on him and gave him a new one

If a teacher was workng with a group and a child came up behind her and chopped her pony tail?