Daughter had her hair cut at school by another pupil.

[Nicola1983]

Hi there,

Just wanted to get everyones opinion please. On Friday just past i was called over to my daughter class teacher at the end of the school dya to say that another pupil had taken a pair of scissors and cut her hair. I was shocked to say the least but i was told it wasnt all that noticable and that the child in question had had their privillage time taken off them. At this point i may piont out the children in question are 4 and 5 years old.

On further inspection when i got home i could see the extent of the damage and i could have cried. Its awful. My daughter has long hair and right at the back near the crown she now has a clump of hair that is no more that than 1 inch in length. Both she and i are devestated that another child could behave this way to another pupil.

My husband marched up to the school to speek to the headmaster about it and both the class teacher and he headmaster said they would put it in writing to us as to how they are going to deal with this but to be honest im still not happy.

Having spoken to my daughter and other children in the class they were all sitting on the carpet listening to another teacher and the little boy in question ot up, went and got a pair of scissors and just cut off a chunk of my little girls hair - fully intentionally. When i asked what happend to the boy my daughter and her friends told me the teacher told him that that wasnt a very kind thing to do and he was removed from the class to sit int hte quiet room until he could learn how to behave.

My other concearn is that only i was informed about the incident. The parent of the little boy in question were not told about this at all and were allowed to go home and carry on as normal. I have written a letter to his parents telling them what i think about it all and that i will be seeking further action. Had this been an older child within the school, without any question they would have been suspended.

I am now debating weather or not to send my child back to school now. I mean what next - he takes another pair of scissors and stabs her in the eye with them??????

Anyway - any advie or guidlines etc would be much appreciated.

Thanks in advance.

Nicola

It was intentional by the sound of it but probably not malicious. He may have thought he was helping. Maybe his mother tidies up his own hair occassionally. Overreaction sending a letter to the parents. What do you want the outcome to be?

I'm concerned that the OP is so concerned about the way her child will look with a little bit of hair cut out - yes it is annoying that this should happen but it indicates to me that the OP may have an unhealthy obsession with her daughter's appearance - which does not bode well for the future.

Agree with puppymonkey. Maybe the Nicola1983 just needs to be angry about this for a bit. I would be.

But Puppymonkey, she is not exacly just ranting on here is she? Her husband went marching to the HT (OP's word) and she has already written a letter to the boy's parents.

I think veryconfusedandupset has got a point WRT how much fuss is made about it and the implications for that little girl.

This has got to be a wind up. It happens, get over it.

I really think you should hold off sending any letter until the school have responded in writing and you are aware of all the measures they have put in place. How do you know they hadn't been contacted already? Presumably the teacher didn't name names so it is really hearsay. You could accuse the wrong child or a child who has other issues to which you are not privy and perhaps face another 6 years of being at the same school, so it is important that you resist your (natural) overreaction, take a big breath, send your child in as normal tomorrow and wait.

Have feelings about it by all means. But....its happened both in Reception (4-5 yrs old) and in Y1 (5 yr old boy cutting 5 yr old girls' hair) and both teachers, whilst dealing with it firmly, have confirmed that it happens every year. The part the Y1 teacher was most concerned about was that no one noticed it happening (no adult, that is).

Its upsetting, its annoying, but it does happen and the child responsible is young, and yes its naughty, but its not horrific. Kids that age do things 'to see what will happen', or to play hairdressers, or just because they can. If it was my dd it happened to, it would help me to see that the action of the boy in question was almost certainly not malicious.

And I certainly wouldn't go to the headteacher about it, unless a safety issue was being ignored by the class teacher.

Sorry, meant to put 'its happened in dd's school in R and Y1'

LIttle bastard should be hung drawn and quartered IMO!!!

What form are you expecting this further action to take FGS???

And no 4/5 year olds do not do things deliberatley - i.e. thinking about the hurt or upset it will cause someone, they often do things like this on impulse, the thought takes them and off they go. It is not a malicious act that will then follow to stabbing people in the face FGS.

Maybe you should speak top his parents about how upset you are and ask them to tell him that it really isn't a good idea to do this sort of thing but I think sending a letter makes you look a complete prat!

It's only hair, it will grow back. She is not scarred for life. Too much obsession with little girls having long flowing hair.
Pain in the backside if you ask me.
And I've got two daughters with long hair.

As others have said, these things do happen. My cousin cut nearly half of my sister's hair once, and they were both seven. He had a lot more of an idea of what he was doing than this child did.

There's almost no chance that the child here will progress to 'stabbing her in the eye'. That's a bot of a hysterical reaction tbh, although I do sympathise. I'd probably be seeing red in your shoes - I know my parents did when my sister's hair was cut.

You do need to remember that these things happen though, and confine your 'arrgh!' moments to mumsnet or your bedroom. You don't want your DD to start telling people at school about how militant you got - if the school pick up on it they might label you as one of 'those' parents and play down any incidents to you in future, or not take you as seriously if you have a complaint.

This happened to my daughter although she did it herself! she cut most of one pigtail off. I was horrified but I have to say you are overreacting. I certainly wouldnt have gone to the headteacher etc over this it is not a serious incident.

Hmm, the fact that the OP has disappeared leads me to think it was a wind up.

ALthough I agree with comments that the OP is over reacting, I am a bit concerned that at this age whilst doing an activity that doesn't involve scissors this boy could just get up and go and get a pair and do this without being stopped. Is that normal? Surely at this age they should only have scissors when they're doing an activity that requires them and then should be supervised?

A boy in my class cut the tip of my finger off when was in junior school - we were making masks and I had stuff stuck to my finger so rather than pull it off he cut it off! Mind you I was 10.

Not uncommon in reception.IME usually not totally one-sided either ?

I understand that you are upset, I would be, however I really don't think it is fair to have a go at the parents of that child or seek further action, as kids that age can just have moments of silliness and there is not much you can do as a parent sitting at home. My DS cut his own hair (he was 3) and my DD (4) had strongly encouraged/helped to do it. Another girl in my DD school (5) went to someone else's house for tea and cut her own hair (badly hacked) apparently also with some encouragement! So that was just hopefully to reassure you a little that it is a fairly normal thing. I would lie it to rest if I were you, there is not much else the school or the other parents can really do now (unless it happened again - then it might be a different matter!)

Am Very Very concerned that children that young can get a scissors and cut another childs hair without a teacher seeing what is happening and when they were not using scissors for art work. Am sorry that your DD has has her hair cut but I would be looking at the safety issue regarding chidren and sharp objects rather then punishing the child at a later date the the incident it will mean nothing to him in regard to changing behaviour.

where is the op?

Buzzybb they were probably just in a pot at the creative area.

buzzybb
Be prepared to be shocked. In the nursery where I work the 2 and 3 year olds have access to scissors all of the time.Most scissors used by children are rounded end safety scissors, so are not that sharp. The pencils are probably sharper.

exactly PP.Children tend to do more damage to each other with their hands/feet than anything else.

DD has given me a DIY haircut whilst playing hairdressers! No idea she knew where the scissors were until I heard & felt the "snip" at the back of my head

My own lovely primary teacher in the 1950s cut off one pig-tail of the girl sitting next to her, simply because she took up too much room and kept leaning over her work. Girl returned to school with an urchin crop!

Although a bit upsetting at the time, it will become one of those "family" stories and hair fortunately does grow back.

These threads always end with total over young children having access to scissors. And there was one recently where MNers were horrified that Reception children were allowed to use knives at dinnertime!

I feel sorry for the wee boy, with the way your going he is never going to be able to forget this one.

You are upset, we all would be, but they are just little kids. the way you are behaving is really scary.

I would be cross - my dd1 cut her own hair but told me that daddy had already been cross and punished her so she wouldn't do it again - so I didnt get cross but I was upset her hair looked silly [asad]

Op I would be cross and then try to get over it as best you can -perhaps just get soem reasurance form the teacher that this will nto happen agian?