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Primary education

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Original poster

Daughter had her hair cut at school by another pupil.

162 replies

Nicola1983 · 21/03/2010 01:33

Hi there,

Just wanted to get everyones opinion please. On Friday just past i was called over to my daughter class teacher at the end of the school dya to say that another pupil had taken a pair of scissors and cut her hair. I was shocked to say the least but i was told it wasnt all that noticable and that the child in question had had their privillage time taken off them. At this point i may piont out the children in question are 4 and 5 years old.

On further inspection when i got home i could see the extent of the damage and i could have cried. Its awful. My daughter has long hair and right at the back near the crown she now has a clump of hair that is no more that than 1 inch in length. Both she and i are devestated that another child could behave this way to another pupil.

My husband marched up to the school to speek to the headmaster about it and both the class teacher and he headmaster said they would put it in writing to us as to how they are going to deal with this but to be honest im still not happy.

Having spoken to my daughter and other children in the class they were all sitting on the carpet listening to another teacher and the little boy in question ot up, went and got a pair of scissors and just cut off a chunk of my little girls hair - fully intentionally. When i asked what happend to the boy my daughter and her friends told me the teacher told him that that wasnt a very kind thing to do and he was removed from the class to sit int hte quiet room until he could learn how to behave.

My other concearn is that only i was informed about the incident. The parent of the little boy in question were not told about this at all and were allowed to go home and carry on as normal. I have written a letter to his parents telling them what i think about it all and that i will be seeking further action. Had this been an older child within the school, without any question they would have been suspended.

I am now debating weather or not to send my child back to school now. I mean what next - he takes another pair of scissors and stabs her in the eye with them??????

Anyway - any advie or guidlines etc would be much appreciated.

Thanks in advance.

Nicola

OP posts:
ByTheSea · 21/03/2010 19:13

Have only read OP. My DS2 did this to a girl in Year 1 or Year 2. We were mortified when we were told by the school what had happened. Sanctions were given to DS2 by the school and we told him off as well. Other than apologising to the girl's mother, which I did, and of course DS2 apologising as well, what should we have done? I'm so glad the mum at the time accepted our apologies graciously.

FWIW, It has since been confirmed that our DS2 has some quite major emotional and behavioural issues, which were still being assessed at the time.

MaisietheMorningsideCat · 21/03/2010 19:14

Well, you do tend to come up with some rather predictable posts.

rainbowinthesky · 21/03/2010 19:14

Who said you were a troll?

BoysAreLikeDogs · 21/03/2010 19:17

No troll calling on this thread as far as I can tell

daisy243 · 21/03/2010 19:27

You have just described one of my worst nightmares! I have run through this scenario in my head before and can never think what I would do if it actually happened. I and my dd would be SO upset. If you did that to an adult I'm sure it's assult!
The long and the short (sorry no pun intended) is I wouldn't know what to do, but you really have my symphathy and I hope your little girl will be ok.
x
bee

colabottles · 21/03/2010 19:40

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rainbowinthesky · 21/03/2010 19:42

colabottles - are you calling the poster "mrs"??

colabottles · 21/03/2010 19:45

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colabottles · 21/03/2010 19:52

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Ali37 · 21/03/2010 20:07

Sorry but I'm with the mum who posted this. I think that any child that thinks its ok to violate another child by cutting any part of their body is completely out of order the punishment was not harsh enough and I would be just as mad, just not sure what a suitable punishment you give to that age

MrsGravy · 21/03/2010 20:27

Well, a little girl in my DD's class cut her arm last year when they were in nursery so both were around 4.

The first thing I wanted to know was how well the scissors are usually supervised - how did this happen? The teacher was able to reassure me that the scissors were usually well supervised but this little girl had snuck one off by herself. She had a very firm talking to which was enough for me to be honest.

As the teacher took it seriously and the child was punished I felt no need whatsoever for further action to be taken. There has never been another repeat of this incident - the girl in question never went on to impale anyone's eyeball.

I think, sometimes, the consequences of a young child's action can be worse than the action itself. A child at this age wouldn't have any notion of how long it would have taken your DD to grow her hair that long or how long it would take to grow back. Or of the emotional impact on your or your DD if he cut it. He could have been copying something he saw on TV or at the hairdressers or even a dare from another child. Try and seperate the action from how you feel about it if you can. You are understandably upset but cutting another child's hair at this age ISN'T assault or an act of aggression.

MaisietheMorningsideCat · 21/03/2010 20:28

Violate?! Oh FFS!! Children of that age do not understand things as adults do. They learn by example and by coaching, which is exactly what the school has done, I'm sure. Children have cut each other's hair since the year dot - it's all part of childhood, and absolutely no need to get hysterical.

hocuspontas · 21/03/2010 20:42

There are a lot of things that are more dangerous than round-end scissors in a reception classsroom.
Pencils and paintbrushes(the ends not the bristles!) for poking eyes out; sellotape dispensers, musical instruments and whiteboards for knocking someone out; white-board pens for leaving indelible stains on clothing and probably poisonous if licked; drawing pins ('nails' in hammer sets) and paper fasteners for pricking skin and drawing blood; anything else not nailed down that can be hurled across the classroom, etc, etc.
Short of lock down there is always going to be the potential for injury but thankfully most 4 and 5 year olds are sensible. Those children who perhaps have never used 'dangerous' items at home might be more inclined to experiment with them at school?

Shaz10 · 21/03/2010 20:44

The most painful thing I have ever suffered in a classroom was a child kicking me. Can we ban feet please?

MrsPixie · 21/03/2010 20:46

I would be upset too OP, don't get me wrong, if you needed to vent perhaps this was the wrong place.

brassband · 21/03/2010 20:51

My Ds once cut a girls hair because she was teasing him.The school didn't even tell me about it I heard from another mother.They were of the view that it was 6 of one and half a dozen of the other , and so, thankfully was the little girl's mother.

BTW the OP says that she didn't even notice the damage until they got home.

MaryMotherOfCheeses · 21/03/2010 20:56

I'm actually starting to feel sorry for the OP.

So she overreacted, but I don't think she quite deserves the response she's got here.

I'm not surprised she's scarpered!

Kitkatqueen · 21/03/2010 20:56

louisag, Was your childs hair "up" at the time? Yes its upsetting tht the incident occurred but believe me, your dd can't see it and will forget about it very quickly. Learn to french plait and you won't be able to see the damage.

cola LOL! I call people mrs too! what part of the country are you from I'm NFN.

Kitkatqueen · 21/03/2010 20:57

Sorry misread! post above was aimed at op not louisag.

onebadbaby · 21/03/2010 20:58

There are lots of things four year olds do that if an adult did would be a crime....

But a four year old is learning the rules of society and cutting hair is something to be dealt with, but ffs! he is four!!

Charlieandlola · 21/03/2010 21:00

I xan understand the upset and concern re access to scissors.
I am curious as to what "further action" the op is looking to pursue. A solicitors letter ? Civil actions to recover costs of a new haircut ?

onebadbaby · 21/03/2010 21:05

My brother once cut all the hair off my pippa doll- was that criminal damage?? My mum did make him use his birthday money to buy me a new one though!

SiriusStar · 21/03/2010 21:07

I agree that maybe the OP is over reacting a bit, but that's what lots of us do when we are upset about something.
What I can't quite get my head round is how so matter of fact some of you are about the cutting of hair. I would be rather cross too if my dd had her cut by a child at school. Less so admittedly with my ds as he has less to cut.
I used to have nightmares about this happening to me when I was little.
Would it still be "just something children do at that age" if the boy had gone up behind the teacher and snipped a chunk from her hair?

darcymum · 21/03/2010 21:10

I caught my three year old giving another child a haircut at play group once, luckily it was his little sister (thank god). They do that sort of thing.

If I was the boys mother though I would like to know about it and I would offer to pay for your DD to have her hair cut.

lotster · 21/03/2010 21:13

Actually I've just remembered at my primary school the boys used to get extra English while the girls did sewing and once or twice girls would pass needles under the door to the boys to pierce their ears with (!) so it could be worse I suppose. The girls were a bit older too so fully aware of their actions!

Feel a bit sorry for OP now, not like she posted in AIBU..