Oh my God... I just argued with DS's teacher!

[Lycraphobe]

I only tried to have a chat with her about how difficult Ds finds the homework and how this has turned to impossible in the last week. I tried to teach it to him but it was too sophisticated a notion for him and he just couldn't get his head around it. (it was a couple of words in his spelling homework for which he had to write sentences showing that he understood the word).
Anyway the teacher kept saying "well, that's the programme I am following" and "he must do it", even when I explained that it isn't won't but can't, even with my help. The only option is for me to do it for him because she punishes him if it doesn't get done.

It all got a bit heated. She told me to go away and think about what she had said. I suggested that she thought about what I had said and that she spent time considering whether the work she is setting is achievable. At that point she took the huff and basically tried to close the door in my face!

Oh God! I wish I hadn't bothered even trying now! I hope she doesn't take it out on DS (as one of the teaching assistants confided in me: DS's teacher is inexperienced and she lacks empathy). Where do I go from here? He is in Yr3.

DS took a letter home tonight from the head. It was short and sweet.. basically it ignored our detailed concerns (even though we put them in writing) but it did say that the matters raised in our meeting and in our letter are now closed.

DH read it and said "she's just got a big carpet and swept everything underneath it" which I thought was a fairly accurate assessment.

The letter left it with us to contact her again if we wish to pursue things further. I don't think we will, but I am fairly certain that I don't want to put DS2 in this teacher's hands in two years time, so between now and then we will be looking for a new school for our family.

Fishie - i am one of the PTA. I can't do anything.. the head has obviously decided that she values the teacher more than the parents or children (I am not the only one who is unhappy - in fact the PTA gossip this morning happened to cover this teacher - I didn't say anything - no one had a good thing to say about her although all support and admire the head). i feel that the head has badly let me down though and I don't trust her implicitly as I did until yesterday.

Lycrophone...Have you not got any teacher friends who could assess him 'of the record' for you.

jomummuy2 - I know how this must look like an over enthused mother who is blind to the reality. My opinion of Ds is based on everything that every single person who has ever come into contact with him has said since he was a toddler i.e. bright, able child.
I have a friend who is an ex-head and now an ofsted inspector. Last year, she assessed him and said he was about a year ahead of his age group and when I was moving last summer (and looking for a school), she advised that I got him into the new school's G&T scheme.
I didn't tell the school because I didn't want to tell them their jobs and basically i was confident that they'd see for themselves as everyone else has, but the first thing the teacher said after about a week at the school was that she'd listened to him read and decided that he reads fluently and pronounces all the words perfectly, but he hasn't a clue what it is he is reading.
She retracted a few weeks later but I was disconcerted by her motivation for saying that: did she believe it or was she playing some sort of game?

I think it's really unfair that you now feel you have to look for a new school for your children. I have been in a similar situation and wish that I had formalised my complaint. I think you might regret it if you just leave it be. In my case I feel like I allowed a shoddy teacher to walk all over me and with the benefit of hindsight wish I'd taken it further. You ARE in the right.

"Take it up with the government" ? She sounds completely burned out.

A child doesnt go from being bright able child to struggling. Something is a miss here. They obviously clash and you DC struggles with her teaching methods. I would not let it lie and would take it further personally. I wouldn't move schools, why should you? Alot can happen in 2 yrs, she could leave for instance.

Lots of children have the odd 'bad' year in their learnig for a variety of reasons. Minly because a child's learning doesn't go upsteadily but up and down. This can be to do this many factrs including the teacher they have. All i can say is that if they are bright their learning will again accelerate next year and in the meantime if i was me i would use her curriculum forecast (given out every 1/2 term) to consoladate what she is teaching.

Thanks midnightsbrokentoll! No one has ever taken the trouble to troll me before.

Glad to be of assistance - sorry I thought you'd long gone.

I've been reading this thread with interest and I am surprised that the teachers among you haven't pointed out that there is absolutely no way whatsoever that the Head Teacher could have 'agreed' with your concerns about your son's teacher. This is not because she is trying to brush you off, or hide it under the carpet, but because it would be unprofessional of her to appear to criticise one of her staff (and, BTW, it was extremely unprofessional of the TA to say what she did). The HT may be well aware of this teacher's shortcomings but in the case of an underperforming teacher the school has to do its level best to offer support, guidance, coaching etc. to improve their performance. But the HT can't tell the parents because it would make the school look poor, causing parents to take their children elsewhere (despite the fact that all the other teachers may be absolutely spot on) and starting a downward spiral of falling rolls, shrinking budgets and poor results.

This is a really hard one for everyone concerned; with my 'parent' hat on I would feel just the same way as you and be equally annoyed at being apparently fobbed off by the school. But, knowing schools from the 'inside' it could well be that your concerns have been noted and addressed but the HT just can't explicitly tell you that.

Before you start thinking of changing schools, I would suggest that you have a look at the school over all; does it have good results, is it the sort of place that you feel your children are happy at and well cared for (apart from that teacher, of course). Is your son learning and achieving in other curriculum areas? We are halfway throught the school year now. Is his next year's teacher likely to be better?

If he is generally OK, apart from the ridiculous homework, you could take the pressure off him by continuing to 'help' him with his homework and see the year out knowing that things will be better next year.

I think the school is ok overall, in fact I think it is good. Ds2 has a good teacher and I really respect how she copes with her class and the results she gets. I don't know DS1's teacher for next year but other parents speak well of her so I expect that she'd be a positive too. The Y5 teacher is a bit inexperienced too so I am nervous of that, but I know her from helping out in the school and I think she will be very good one day.

My only real concern was that teacher, but even then I wouldn't take DS1 out of the school just for that. Its the thought of DS2 getting her as well in a couple of years time and the knowledge that when it comes right down to it, the head will not do anything about problems, but will appear in denial instead.

I didn't expect her to pass a judgement on the teacher, or share her thoughts with me. What I did expect was to see some small changes to address my immediate concerns and an assurance that going forward young children will not be given unsupervised detention for being unable to complete their homework. I would have read between the lines for the rest and anyway i do think it is the head's business how she runs her school.
But instead she left me with a clear impression that she accepted the teacher's view - so now I don't trust the head as fully as I did.

I think you may be missing maizie's point the head must stand by her staff in public but that does not mean that in private your concerns aren't being dealt with. I would imagine the situation will be monitored very closely.

I have a similar situation recently with my son's school. His class teachers are frankly useless and it has been a very disappointing year particularly as he had a great year last year. My son is undergoing diagnosis for autism and they have been very slow to catch on to things despite lots of external intervention. Eventually, at the end of my tether, I emailed the Head. Not to complain, just to make her aware of developments.

I got a very abrupt reply which suggested she had 'turned' on me in her unquestioning support for her teachers, without investigating the situation.

I challenged this with her and we are to meet and discuss. However, in the meantime, despite her abrupt response, things have changed MASSIVELY ( yes, capitals are warranted!!) for the better in a few short weeks. Everyone is much more switched on and the school are actively assisting.

So, I think maizie is right, sometimes we don't see as parents that the head may be trying to show outwardly that everything is fine while internally acknowledging that things need to be addressed.

It has a shame however that this cannot be done in a more constructive way e.g. my acknowledging parents' concerns and promising to ensure in future that things are better handled. Careful communication can mean that all parties are supported. Unfortunately, my experience to date is that not all heads have the great social skills required to talk this line!!

Go straight to the head