ds is not good at art - now becoming noticeable - help!!

[zebramummy]

i need a strategy to improve ds' mark-making asap per his nursery report.

i never meant to compare him to his class mates at nursery but their pictures appear to resemble trees, people etc. ds is 4.4 but his art skills have actually gone backwards if anything. he only brought one picture home this term and nothing of his has ever been put up for display at nursery (yes, i do this at home before you ask)

i was apparently so good at his age that my nursery school teacher (a trained artist herself) predicted that i would also become an artist one day (i did not do this though remained quite good). i don't expect him to be that good; just able enough to colour the right bits of the picture in suitable colours and try to keep within outlines. his interest in writing has gone the same way too.

is there anything i can do to remedy the situation? so far, i have made available to him every medium under the sun to try out his 'ideas' - finger paints, glitter glue, crayons, chalks, all manner of paper and card.

he loves playdough though uses it more for imaginative play rather than for model-making. likes gloop, clay, helping with cooking but has had no cross-impact.

'more than anything else it is prob because a lot of people in my family are similarly qualified so it is not quite such a big deal'

actually I think this makes you less admirable than you seem to think, it's easy to be well educated when you come from a family of highly educated individuals who value education and challenge you. What is harder is to get a first class degree, distinction in masters when you are the first person in your family to go to uni and you were educated and bought up in a single parent family on a council estate

Anyway, I repeat my insistence of giving yourself a break as I fear this could all end in tears one day.

Blimey... this really escalated quickly.

That'll teach me to check 'Threads I'm on' more frequently.

I can't leave this thread alone - it's like a crusty scab

sb - what a lovely idea about the porch gallery with proper framed pictures. I'll be off to wilkos tomorrow to get some frames in time for the PIL's Christmas visit. DS1 isn't ready for any sort of after school activities yet (totally knackered by school - poor little thing) but I'll keep my eye out for arty after school clubs, because goodness knows he isn't going to get any inspiration from me.

I'm on the look out for a quantum physics after school club so ds can escape from his plebian existence with me .

well, that was the kind of advice i was after as it happens ... it is a shame that i ended up with a load of vitriolic piffle.

missismac - i am actually laughing aloud at your diatribe; i would say that of all the children at ds' nursery (there are 40 in his session alone), ds is the ONLY one who simply cannot contain his joy when i arrive at the end of EVERY session - without exception. this is frequently picked up on by one or more of the other parents around us. he is an adored child who truly adores me back on a grand scale ;not desensitised, attention-craving and vindictive. doesn't sound like a "poor boy" to me??

i do wonder whether a lot of the ferocity can be attributed to basic human jealousy - you want to be sahms but cannot hack it or simply can't afford it. i can see why i would be seen as public enemy number one as soon as i related you to my fortunate circumstances.

before you ask, i meant that i am fortunate enough to have chosen to become a sahm - not because i did the maths and found it to be my best option, nor because of cultural/economic/lifestyle restraints. i gave up a highly-paid job with the specific intention of doing exactly what i am doing now and have never doubted my ability to see it through (nor have i been doubted, only praised by people who know me). i know sahm covers a whole host of circumstances but i am specifically referring to the one scenario i know about.

"i happen to think that i am a fantastic parent and i am very sure of my parenting having put in many, many hours of one-to-one quality time and fortunate enough to have a broad range of knowledge and experience spanning many disciplines; for the record,dh and ds happen to feel this way too"

"ds is the ONLY one who simply cannot contain his joy when i arrive at the end of EVERY session"

"have never doubted my ability to see it through".

OMG, you are so not real, ZM - honestly, no normal person talks about themselves like that!!!!! I hope you don't do it in RL - god knows what people would say about you behind your back...........

zebra- I have enjoyed this thread, and hope you have got some ideas for how you can encourage your DS's artistic development.

In light of your last post, my only advice now is to brace yourself for your ds's teenage years. He may not always adore you back on such a grand scale.

"i am prouder for my work with ds as a sahm than any other job i have done in the past"

*zebramummy" surely that's the problem, no one I know in RL would see being a SAHM as "working" with their DS as if he were a job with targets and Key Performance Indicators

I love this thread. It makes me giggle every time I read it.

OP - if your son greets you enthusiastically every time you pick him up I shouldn't worry too much about your art history aspirations for him. My sobs uncontrollably when I arrive - can't decide whether its my plebian upbringing, lack of a first class degree from Oxford or my jealous twisted attitude at being unable to be a SAHM.

Please tell me more about your life so that I may have something to aspire to.

FYI DS (4) only draws monsters which look like potatoes however he has progressed to adding hair now so I feel there is hope for him.

your ds is probably scared that you can't take anything other than perfect adoration from him, zebramummy....what child (and what mum for that matter) doesn't have arsey times?

(I really want to believe that this thread is a wind up!)

If he is 4.4 what is he doing still at nursery, surely he should be in reception? Ds did art on the computer in reception.

This sentence makes me wonder if he actually doesn't like nursery:

"ds is the ONLY one who simply cannot contain his joy when i arrive at the end of EVERY session"

When my ds was at nursery he was pleased to see me on the odd occasion that I skived off from work managed to collect him but he was also very happy to be there. Likewise school now and he frankly gets rather annoyed that he can't go at the weekends .

I don't feel sorry for zebra's DS, I feel sorry for any woman he goes out with - surely none will live up to the perfection of mummy

Seriously though, OP did you really want any tips or did you just want us to reiterate what a clearly fantastic job you are already doing. No, no need to change anything, you are doing everything possible for your DS

Yes it is true. I am a WOHM who can't afford to be a SAHM. That explains why I think the OP is a loon being a little intense.

Oh. hang on....

zebramummy Mon 07-Dec-09 19:50:52

"i do wonder whether a lot of the ferocity can be attributed to basic human jealousy - you want to be sahms but cannot hack it or simply can't afford it"

or could it simply be more life experience?

many of us have older children/several children/experience of many other children than our own

I for one have seen many cases of children flourishing and developing their talents- but also of children burnt out and stressed out by parental expectations by the time they reach university
(as a university teacher I do get to see this)

and of children who reach adulthood full of regrets because they have felt they had to follow their parents' interests when this wasn't really how they wanted to spend their lives

ime the children who do best in life and are happiest are not usually the ones who are taught to look down on everybody except their immediate family

I dump my son with people who don't love him. They do a darned good job of looking after him though. Due to this sane, healthy detachment they are not desperate for him to develop an interest in the history of art by the age of 4.

OP you sound like a loon.

So we have poeple with first class degrees who think the OP is coming across as idiotic.

SAHM's who think she sounds like a loon.

Women who through choice, not monetary pressure or inability to 'hack it' at home, decide to work part time in their satisfying professional flexible houred jobs, who think the OP is making some very bizarre statements that display a scary level of lack of slef awarenss.(that's me)

Hmm, so where is the jealousy coming from??

Fitsr class degree not in logic I suspect??

Infact i ma now beginning to suspect the OP as not what she seems. The statements are becomig so extreme, offensive and ignorant they must be delibrately planned to wind us up and not the thoughts of a real women. Also surely someone with a firts class degree would not come across as quite so dim? guranteede they may be a numpty, but much of this is ill informed clap trap.

Very very odd.

She is certainly not like any of the Oxbridge graduates I have ever met.

Zebramummy, haven't you missed something? You seem to claim that you are better at parenting and stimulating your ds than all the other parents, yet you also say that the other children can do things that he can't. It can hardly be the teacher's fault, if the other children are managing it. The only possible factors must lie either with your son or with you. So doesn't this rather suggest one of two things:

either

a) the other parents teach their children better than you do

or

b) this is due to factors beyond your control, such as the rate of your son's development, or possibly even a lack of talent

Posters have tried to suggest explanation b. You don't seem willing to accept this. So are you going to fall back on explanation a?

Cory, all I can say is LOL.

I know this is bad form but I just searched some of zebramummy's threads to see if this was a special wind up one off, and er, it isn't. Does anyone remember the "can my child opt out of computers" thread. That was her.