School asking absent child to come in later

[TreeXmasTree]

Hi

My Y4 child woke at around 3am sneezing constantly with a runny nose and said he didn’t feel well enough for school. He’d been awake from then on, so I kept him home and left a message with school saying he had a cold.

School called back asking for more detail and said that under NHS guidance sneezing/runny nose alone are fine for school. I explained that I’m normally quite strict about attendance, but given he’d been up since 3am and was exhausted, I didn’t think he was fit for a full day. They said that was ok but suggested he could possibly come in later for the afternoon register if he’d had some sleep.

I said I’d see how he was and let them know before 1pm register. Just wondering where others stand on this - am I being overly cautious, or is it reasonable to keep him home for rest in this situation?

His attendance has always been over 99% so I’m a little shocked at how the school is handling this (although I realise this is due to pressure from DfE)

Please share your thoughts? What would you do?

TIA

Absolutely this. It’s like we learned nothing from COVID.

The attitude to sickness at work/school in the UK is just ridiculous, I live abroad now and it's so nice to not feel guilty about me or my kids taking a sick day. The attitude of workplaces/schools is if you're sick, stay home, recover properly and don't infect everyone else. The school even wrote to parents asking them please to not send their sick kids in just before Christmas; if I go into work sick, they send me home. It's so much less stressful and healthier for everyone when the approach is proper recovery rather than endless pressure to attend regardless of how well you actually are.

I think there’s some projection going on on this thread! All the school have said that he can come in later if he’s feeling better.
if he’s not then keep him off.

They just care about their attendance record, they’re not acting in your child’s best interest (or other children/teachers who would inevitably catch whatever he has). You are right to keep him at home.

I am a primary teacher and when my kids are ill they stay at home. That's my decision, not the attendance policy. I also will say that there is so much pressure on the schools with attendance, it gets checked, reported on etc. Sending kids in when they are unwell just spreads it around the rest of us. If attendance is otherwise good they wont follow up in it.

And I bet people don’t just have this attitude that we all have to accept being constantly ill September to March. UK attitude to illness is awful.

@TreeXmasTree no if my child was not feeling well and had hardly any sleep, they would not be going in. You know if he is well enough. And for them to phone back is rediculous.

If they call again, I would say I’ll keep him home an extra day for every phone call they make 😅

In future volunteer less information.

”My child is ill and won’t be in today”

I’ve sent my child in with the snuffles before but then kept her off the following day when it was a full blown cold and she was clearly struggling. It was a Friday, so she also rested Saturday & Sunday before returning Monday. Do what you think is best for your child

I would be fuming at this. The child is sick - the end!

I'd politely tell them to fuck off. If a child is sick, they are sick. Better that they take whatever time they need to properly recover so that they can return ASAP, instead of going to school when they're still not 100% and making themselves sicker (and spreading their germs to others).

I have worked in primary schools for 14 years and have never come across this at all. If a parent has made the decision to keep an unwell child off school, especially a child with excellent attendance, then that decision would be accepted.

I'd keep your son off school. You run the risk of your son wanting to go to school, even when very poorly, because he's now frightened to stay off unwell.

Goodness, I work in school and I’d say keep him home resting and keeping hydrated. He’s never going to be learning or be attentive in class if he’s so tired and run down.

Right. I'm actually ill much less often these days because I can actually take a day or two to really rest up when I need to, so the illness isn't prolonged through physical stress, and therefore my immune system actually has a chance to recover and I don't immediately get sick again 2 weeks later. It makes so much more sense this way.

No, the school has put inappropriate pressure on a pupil who has otherwise good attendance to come to school even though his mother has decided he is too ill. If a pupil with good attendance is kept home, it should be understood that this has happened for a good reason. Now the child is stressed and anxious for no good reason at all. The school is completely in the wrong to act this way. Whatever pressure the DfE applies, they should be only chasing up pupils whose attendance is suboptimal.

As he’s only 4 there no legal requirement for him to be at school. School isn’t mandatory until the term after his 5th birthday so the school have no right to question you on attendance whether he’s ill or not! Snuggle up, enjoy your rest day and teach your son from early on to put his health (mental and physical) first. This is coming from someone who almost always had 100% attendance at school and got attendance awards and the first time I didn’t was when my grandad died…

He's Year 4; not 4 years of age. Likely around 9 years old.

Children get sick and they do need time to recover when they’re not right. With my children, they can often have a bounce back in the afternoon but I think it is always worth having a buffer before sending them back in. I would only bring a child in for the afternoon if they had been off a while and were literally bouncing off the walls or had been waiting for a 48 hour exclusion period to finish.

I would keep at home too as they could get more run down if forced to go in esp during winter. Even colds can move to secondary infections if not careful especially if they have PE that day. I would obviously offer to take them in if feel better. My kids thankfully are conscientious and don’t like to take time out of school either. In fact when my son says he’s ill he
often has a fever. I think because of COVID they’re trying to get kids back to say it’s ok to go to school if you have a cold. But you know Covid was deadly to some and hardly had an effect on some people. Our school however following an inspection said they were going to analyse the data more and have metrics around this 🙄

Did you take him in? I would have just asked him if he felt well enough tbh. He knows himself by Y4 I would have thought. I don’t think many adults call in sick with a cold do they? I’m only mentioning that because you said something about putting yourself in his shoes. You always feel crap 1st thing in the morning when you have a cold and I think it’s quite nice that you could have a slow start to your day, have a nap, have some medication and then go to school if you’re feeling a bit better. The afternoon sessions are shorter and it feels like self care but with autonomy and being sensible and understanding that school attendance is important if you feel up to it. I wouldn’t have taken it as pressure, more that they are happy to have him for half a day if he feels up to it. I’m not sure why some people find that offensive really, of course they’re under pressure from DfE and it doesn’t sound like they were heavy handed about it.

Thw amount of parents that have said they would be furious about school making a suggestion / offer is ludicrous. Also, the reason that the teachers that are actually good at their job are leaving in droves because frankly we can get paid better elsewhere without someone constantly being furious at us. Don’t be mad when you only have 21 - 23 year old ECT’s teaching your children because they don’t stay in teaching.

You know your child. There are colds and colds. I am almost never actually unwell with a cold (and find the American habit of saying they are “sick” when they have a cold very bizarre) and yet, from time to time, maybe once every 2-3 years, I will get a cold where I do feel quite poorly and need to take it easy for a day or two. It sounds like this is the case with your son. You obviously don’t keep him off at the merest hint of a sniffle. But sometimes rest is what you need. The school are not doctors... and they don’t actually have your son’s best interests at heart. They are only doing it for the attendance records. I doubt he’ll learn much just going in for 2 hours.

Because you hate your child and want them to be as thick as mince so you can win an imaginary battle with school?

They didn’t put pressure on the child. They gave his mum a suggestion that if he felt better after catching up on some sleep he could come in later.
A suggestion which she was free to override should she see fit.
It’s a decent strategy to improve the attendance of some children who haven’t slept well and would otherwise miss a whole day. Obviously this is a rare occurrence for the OP’a child but not for many others.

Abso-bloody-lutely……you are spot on with this x

i cannot understand schools’ attitudes to colds. I understand of course that colds can be mild and I know schools are under a lot of pressure to keep attendance up. But,
colds can also make you pretty ill. Going to school with a bad cold and then passing it on to other kids and staff sounds line a very bad idea or me.