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Original poster

School asking absent child to come in later

155 replies

TreeXmasTree · 28/01/2026 10:16

Hi

My Y4 child woke at around 3am sneezing constantly with a runny nose and said he didn’t feel well enough for school. He’d been awake from then on, so I kept him home and left a message with school saying he had a cold.

School called back asking for more detail and said that under NHS guidance sneezing/runny nose alone are fine for school. I explained that I’m normally quite strict about attendance, but given he’d been up since 3am and was exhausted, I didn’t think he was fit for a full day. They said that was ok but suggested he could possibly come in later for the afternoon register if he’d had some sleep.

I said I’d see how he was and let them know before 1pm register. Just wondering where others stand on this - am I being overly cautious, or is it reasonable to keep him home for rest in this situation?

His attendance has always been over 99% so I’m a little shocked at how the school is handling this (although I realise this is due to pressure from DfE)

Please share your thoughts? What would you do?

TIA

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
frecklejuice · 28/01/2026 13:06

CactusSwoonedEnding · 28/01/2026 12:47

It's mostly common sense but with this level of poorly I wouldn't be allowing any tv or video games at home and the child's boredom/activity level is then a good barometer for whether they are well enough for school in the afternoon. Wanting to just stay in bed/nap/read = ok stay at home. Moaning about boredom, creating mischief, actively playing = well enough for school.

Fuck being your child and off school unwell! No tv? Whenever mine have been off school ill they have always been put on the sofa with a blanket and the tv on so they can rest but not be bored, maybe colouring or something depending on age. Most kids unless very unwell wouldn’t stay in bed just resting or napping without tv or anything.

Op tell them you know you’re child best and he’ll be back when you think he’s up to it.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 28/01/2026 13:07

You know your own child best. If you think he’s too tired for school, keep him at home.
If, OTOH, he’s increasingly full of beans and bouncing around….

Ihatelittlefriendsusan · 28/01/2026 13:10

As above, I am a governor and regardless of attendance normally schools are under a huge pressure to chase up on all absences.

To be honest having a cols and a runny nose is a really poor excuse for not sending him in. I appreciate he has been up half the night but they are right to suggest some sleep and coming in later if he is well enough.

They have a duty of care and a safeguarding responsibility to fulfill.

Ihateitsomuch · 28/01/2026 13:11

I'd have kept him home. I also keep things brief with school "DD is home today as she is unwell" they've yet to call and ask with what (she's 11)

Ihateitsomuch · 28/01/2026 13:12

Ihatelittlefriendsusan · 28/01/2026 13:10

As above, I am a governor and regardless of attendance normally schools are under a huge pressure to chase up on all absences.

To be honest having a cols and a runny nose is a really poor excuse for not sending him in. I appreciate he has been up half the night but they are right to suggest some sleep and coming in later if he is well enough.

They have a duty of care and a safeguarding responsibility to fulfill.

It's about attendance records not safeguarding.

lanthanum · 28/01/2026 13:12

It might be useful to know that going in just for the afternoon would be okay with the school.
I remember ringing the school once to say that DD was full of energy, and since her 48 hours after sickness would be up by breaktime, could I bring her in then?

usedtobeaylis · 28/01/2026 13:14

It wouldn't even occur to me to send my child to school in the afternoon, even if she was feeling better - especially not after being up through the night.

Do people understand that colds have varying levels of severity? I've just had one and it didn't impact me at all. I've had others where I could hardly breathe or was up coughing all night. Its not a 'poor excuse' at fucking all.

Poppingby · 28/01/2026 13:15

Ihatelittlefriendsusan · 28/01/2026 13:10

As above, I am a governor and regardless of attendance normally schools are under a huge pressure to chase up on all absences.

To be honest having a cols and a runny nose is a really poor excuse for not sending him in. I appreciate he has been up half the night but they are right to suggest some sleep and coming in later if he is well enough.

They have a duty of care and a safeguarding responsibility to fulfill.

Respectfully, this is absolute balls. If you have a cold and you feel rough, you are allowed a day off. The school being pressured about attendance should not be on the head of a sniffly 7 year old and they have fulfilled their duty of care by ringing up to check on him. Children are human beings and learning is best done when you're not feeling really crap.

usedtobeaylis · 28/01/2026 13:15

Ihatelittlefriendsusan · 28/01/2026 13:10

As above, I am a governor and regardless of attendance normally schools are under a huge pressure to chase up on all absences.

To be honest having a cols and a runny nose is a really poor excuse for not sending him in. I appreciate he has been up half the night but they are right to suggest some sleep and coming in later if he is well enough.

They have a duty of care and a safeguarding responsibility to fulfill.

Safeguarding, sure. All those schools that do the square root of fuck all about bullying are all about the safeguarding when it comes to illness.

Its about their attendance figures.

Usernamenotav · 28/01/2026 13:16

Kids don't need to be at school until 5. I'd gently remind them this and keep him home.

VaccineSticker · 28/01/2026 13:16

CaptainMyCaptain · 28/01/2026 10:25

This

Show quote history

What’s the point? If your body is ill and fighting a bug, it’s telling you something and therefore it needs to rest. Sending child to school once calpol has masked the symptoms is great parenting hey?
Anyway, all core subjects would have been taught in the morning, even less reason to send PM time.

Schools are under lots of pressure from DoE to keep up with attendance.

ImSweetEnough · 28/01/2026 13:16

Keep him off. And I would do so especially after that call because it would irritate me that someone didn't take 2 minutes to look at the child's attendance record to establish that this isn't a regular occurrence, the school only care about this anyway for their OFSTED and as with so many things, a few people spoil things for everyone else so people who do take attendance seriously are subjected to the same hassle as those who don't.

usedtobeaylis · 28/01/2026 13:17

VaccineSticker · 28/01/2026 13:16

What’s the point? If your body is ill and fighting a bug, it’s telling you something and therefore it needs to rest. Sending child to school once calpol has masked the symptoms is great parenting hey?
Anyway, all core subjects would have been taught in the morning, even less reason to send PM time.

Schools are under lots of pressure from DoE to keep up with attendance.

Edited
Show quote history

Also a child can feel well enough to be up on the couch watching TV but not well enough to navigate the sensory wonderland of school - just like adults.

NotQuiteUsual · 28/01/2026 13:17

I've been known to drop my child off for afternoon register. My son gets migraines and sometimes calpol does the trick and clears it up. Other times it doesn't touch the sides. I think it's fair for school to suggest it. I wouldn't worry about it though. He's either well enough or not.

justasking111 · 28/01/2026 13:19

travelallthetime · 28/01/2026 10:32

honestly with attendance like that you clearly dont keep him off on a whim. My response would be 'I am the parent and I will decide if my child is fit enough for school' (and under my breath, so keep your bloody nose out). School should be more concerned with children who a persistently late and have days off every week, not kids with 99% attendance

This. Let him rest and recover. I was floored by a virus ten days ago. Two duvet days, lots of fluids and sleep, day three I felt much better.

needapokerface · 28/01/2026 13:21

I think the School's have gone mental, of course it's a great idea to send your child back to school with a cold, sneezing and coughing over all the other children, who will in turn be off in the coming days.

And don't get me started on unqualified people quoting NHS guidelines....thats exactly what they are guidelines but seeing as no people are the same and symptoms hit everyone different the guidelines are bloody useless.

All I can say is I am glad my two are now in work and able to make their own decisions to stay of work or not.

Hope your son is feeling a bit better and tell him not to worry the teacher was just having a moment.

Terfarina · 28/01/2026 13:21

A day off resting properly means he will get better more quickly. With little sleep and day one of a cold how much would he benefit from being in school anyway. Plus, kids are most contagious day one so better not to share it around.

JanuaryJasmine · 28/01/2026 13:21

I'd be telling them to fuck off (slightly more politely, but not a lot) their attendance rating is their problem. I'm not sending my sick child in to make it look better for them!

tell. DS to stop worrying, tell him chool are just being silly. He needs to rest & get better.

Politicians247UnderwearExtinguishingService · 28/01/2026 13:21

So your DS is forced in, not in a mindset to learn and likely unproductive with feeling under the weather and not being able to focus on anything because the next sneeze is always on its way... then tomorrow, most of the other kids in his class (and likely the teacher too) catch it and feel the same.

Then, tomorrow, that's goodness knows how many more kids whose parents call in sick for and who don't come in, and whom the school is constantly having to phone to urge to send them in anyway.

The all-conquering obsession with attendance is ridiculous. A young child is feeling really ill and, instead of caring about him and wishing him well, their first response is to go online and look for reasons why they can override a parent and dismiss his illness as irrelevant. Disgraceful.

youalright · 28/01/2026 13:24

Schools really are ridiculous. Imagine ringing in sick to work and your manager ringing you back to say come in later on in the day.

Swissmeringue · 28/01/2026 13:25

This is ridiculous. If your kid has good attendance and you decide they are too ill for school then the school should be trusting your judgement. Use your judgement, if DC needs to be at home then the phonecall from school is irrelevant.

liveforsummer · 28/01/2026 13:25

Absolutely not. For a start I’d be wanting to keep him awake albeit tired so he went to sleep at the correct or slightly earlier time tonight. If not hugely ill, going back to sleep to the get up for afternoon of school would have a knock on effect

Tryonemoretime · 28/01/2026 13:26

TreeXmasTree · 28/01/2026 10:23

Exactly! I tried to put myself in his shoes and imagine I’d likely call in sick. My son is now worried about the call from school and volunteered to go in later if I want him to. He said he’s just very tired. But I see no point in getting him dressed for school for less than 2.5 hours of school

Mmm. So if you'd had a bad night because of a cold, you'd call in sick? Half the workforce of teachers and teaching assistants would be missing in action if they had that attitude 🙄

WimbyAce · 28/01/2026 13:27

Can't believe they phoned you! I would be fuming! Could potentially understand if bad attendance but otherwise that is ridiculous. The parent makes the decision!

trappedCatAsleepOnMe · 28/01/2026 13:27

If it happens again don't say Cold - or runny nose/sore throat - just go with too ill for school and mention exhaustion and up all night if really pushed.

They more they know more they tend to argue about going in.

My kids had good attendance but we had a lot of push back at times when they had odd day off - and I found it was the best approach - they are ill and off school today.