One hour drive to primary - so overwhelmed

[liveinhope100]

My daughter got into the third choice. This school is meant to be 15 minutes away from me. With rush hour and now an unbelievable amount of roadworks, it took me an hour to get there today. I’m pregnant and finding all of this too overwhelming. I’m seriously considering taking her out of school whilst I sort out my property so I can sell and move. There is not much within my price range near her school so I think I will end up having to move her anyway.

My question is, do I take her out of school now or try to slog it out for the next 4-5 months. It’s filling me with absolute dread but I’m not sure what to do. Struggling to even think straight at the moment with all these hormones.

Get on the waiting list for the closer school?

How old is she?

I think you need to contact council re: waiting list for closer schools and what happens if you pull her out.

Are you eligible for school transport based on distance? How long are the roadworks due to last? Did you check Google Maps for the best route based on the time of travel?

I personally wouldn't take her out, but look for alternatives. Selling your house is extreme and will take a long time, but I know pregnancy can make you unable to see the woods for the trees.

Are you working too, or just trying to do the hideous school run?

@MidnightPatrol she is 4. I think that’s a good idea, I will call them tomorrow. Thank you

If she's only 4 and you're at home anyway you can just her out until she's compulsory school age.

Step back a bit.

Is moving on the cards anyway?

Can you put her on the waiting list for a closer school? My experience is that there’s a fair bit of movement in reception.

How long term are the roadworks? Will this be a short term issue?

Can you leave earlier before rush hour, then take breakfast and a book to read together in the car when you get there? Means leaving earlier but takes away the stress about being late.

@CatsorDogsrule she is only 4 so I don’t think school transportation would work. I’ve checked all routes currently all 3 options are saying an hour. I’m not sure with the roadworks but first one on route has been there a month.

I’m working as well, in the opposite direction so I’m doing 2-3 hours driving a day currently.

I have to sell my place anyway as it’s only a one bed and I’ve got my little one due in May. I blame myself for not really considering rush hour traffic and roadworks but just can’t seem to find a solution except for taking her out. Alternatively I just suck it up and deal with this feeling of dread everyday for next 4-5 months until I move.

Thanks for your reply and advice really appreciated

Moving will take a while. Call LA and ask which other schools have space and if you can go on waiting lists. There may be one with a place available nearer your work, for example. Do you gave a partner who could share drop off or pick up?

@KnitKnitKnitting i really like that idea of getting up early and going to get breakfast nearby. I would do anything to miss sitting in that traffic for an hour.

I’m definitely going to put her on waiting list for closer school I just don’t know what area I’m going to move to but trying to figure that out now.

And yes moving is on cards as I’m in a one bed and I will have two children by May!

Thank you

Is there a breakfast club at school?

It may be worth getting in touch with a councillor from your local council - parish council not the county council. Explain where you live, the school and how long the drive is taking due to roadworks and ask if they are aware of any quicker routes, how long the roadworks are going to go on for etc. I’m assuming as it’s a 15 minute drive it’s too far to walk or cycle but it may be worth checking this if the cycle/walking paths aren’t affected by roadworks. Or could you park somewhere before the roadworks and walk part of the way possibly? I had similar questions when we had building work and found my local councillor very helpful.

I would also look at the closest schools as the crow flies/any walking distance to you and call them all asking to be put on the waiting list and checking if they have any spaces currently.

if there is a breakfast or after school club could you book her in for that - would that help with the traffic etc? Are there any other mums who live near you who you could carpool with so you’re only doing the journey once a day or something? Or could you and her Dad share the driving/ one do pick up and one drop off?

Could you wait and pull her out after 2nd October? That's census day for schools - all their money for April 26 to March 27 is based on how many pupils are on roll on census day.

I am guessing waiting lists for your nearest school. Other than that I am sorry to read this, sounds a bit rubbish.

Yeah no wonder you are struggling. That's a lot.

Is the area you work in within the same council boundary?

Is that the direction it would make most sense to move? Just wondering if there's a school in that direction with any capacity. Even if it's further at least it's the direction you have to go anyway.

Where is your husband in all this ?

That’s also a lot for a little one starting in reception - it’s tiring enough anyway for them. Good luck getting it sorted.

If her birthday is April-August she doesn’t have be in school until next Sept (speaking from experience)

Why would you assume OP is married? Odd.

Does the school have wrap around care?
Could you drop her early a couple of times a week so that you're not in traffic to give you a bit if respite?

You can't take her out. What will you do with her while you are working?

Why not drop her early, miss rush hour and get her into wraparound.

if you deregister your child then you would need to see what spaces are available when you want to start school again. What childcare will you have if you are at work until maternity leave starts? What is your plan for providing an education when new child arrives?
can the other parent support you?

speak to admissions and find out where you are on the waiting list for closer schools. Can you put her in school near where you work? Obviously once you start mat leave it might be another ball ache if it is further out.

there are plenty of home Ed groups you can join to find out how others provide an education.

if you are overwhelmed now then having two kids at home is going to be crazy.

Don't deregister. You're stressed, this is not the time to make an irreversible decision.

If your child is not 5 till later in the year, education is not compulsory right now. My boys are the same age and we are doing a very extended settling in phase with them (with school's agreement) so they wont be doing full time until their birthday. Doing something along those lines would still be better than just straight pulling her out.

Do you have a partner who can share in the stress?

Can you leave earlier and have breakfast when you get there?

Is there a breakfast club/tea club so on at least some days you arent trying to go at rush hour?

Is there an alternative method of travel thay would be less stressful at the moment? E.g. getting a bus would still take just as long, but you could spend the the time reading/eating breakfast etc. Or if the roadworks are near the school can you drive to nearly there, park and then cycle/scoot?

Do put her on waiting list for a closer school. But bear in mind you don't want to keep moving her about a lot and if you're moving house soon think carefully about where might work for where you want to move to.

How far is it in distance? Could you cycle with a child seat? I wouldn't pull her out, unless you are going to defer and start Reception from scratch next year. They cover a lot of curriculum in that year.

what would you do all day if she doesn’t have school? Sounds like an awful commute but surely the roadworks are temporary?

A 15 minute journey turning into an hour journey seems quite extreme! And if it's due to roadworks will obviously be temporary