One hour drive to primary - so overwhelmed

[liveinhope100]

My daughter got into the third choice. This school is meant to be 15 minutes away from me. With rush hour and now an unbelievable amount of roadworks, it took me an hour to get there today. I’m pregnant and finding all of this too overwhelming. I’m seriously considering taking her out of school whilst I sort out my property so I can sell and move. There is not much within my price range near her school so I think I will end up having to move her anyway.

My question is, do I take her out of school now or try to slog it out for the next 4-5 months. It’s filling me with absolute dread but I’m not sure what to do. Struggling to even think straight at the moment with all these hormones.

Home to school transport has to cater for all age groups. I teach in a rural school and lots of them come on the school bus!

So many people were asking if the dad could help, no answer.

It's not rocket science. Either continue as you are or change schools.

It's that simple.

Ah, I’ve just had a look at ours and for primary pupils, it’s one mile. For high school pupils, it’s 3 miles.
(also any distance at all if the route is deemed an “unsafe walking route” so distance doesn’t matter in that case).

My kids are in high school now and I just assumed the change was for all ages. It used to be 2 miles for high school kids here.

You don't know what a cargo bike is.

It sounds like you're unfamiliar with cargo bikes for kids. See picture. Fixed balance on 3 wheels, kid(s) in the carrier. Cycling in the dark isn't inherently unsafe - it all depends on the route.

OP, electric cargo bikes are great, many young kids in North Western Europe get brought to school on one.

@Meandmyguy

Oh I didn’t realise I had to reply in your timeframe.

It may be a simple solution for your simple mind. Yet all these lovely people are offering plenty of different options so clearly it’s not just a choice between the two.

Your advice is not required or appreciated. You can leave this thread now.

@Bobiverse

i completely understand you weren’t trying to be disingenuous, that wasn’t directed to you at all. I appreciate your advice and suggestions. I will definitely mention to him about flexible working, I didn’t even realise that was on option so thank you! Also going to speak to the school and see if they can offer any flexibility with arrival times too, that would definitely help until I get everything sorted.

She's pregnant

I’ve tried pointing this out. Not to mention that we are coming into winter.

I am familiar. Also familiar with winter, roadworks, that you can’t control any driver other than yourself. Cycling in general is more dangerous than driving when you measure it in terms of fatal or serious injury per mile travelled. Combine that with the roadworks, reduced speed limits, hazards, driver frustration - all of which are known to increase accidents.

Also familiar with an ever changing centre of gravity, pregnancy, SPD, morning sickness and not wanting to drop several thousand pounds on subjecting myself and child to this when all being well, it’s likely a temporary thing.

My next door neighbours have one of these. Only ever seen it in summer. Can’t understand why.

It still doesn’t sound great in the winter weather and dark with an increasingly pregnant woman and then a newborn too.

@Bobiverse I'm fairly sure it's illegal not to offer free transport over 2 miles. The law states it's two miles or even less if there's no safe walking route.

I wonder why people are like this, what do you get out of it?

@FrondsofFriday
Thank you for this advice, i really like this sound of this but I didn’t realise it was possible. I plan to speak to the school about my situation and see if they can offer any flexibility. She turns 5 in Feb by which time I should have this all resolved.

I thought I would be penalised for bringing her in later or potentially missing out on days but it sounds like they can’t until she is of compulsory age?

I think I can hear a thousand Dutch pregnant women cycling to school every day having a good laugh at the OTT-ness of that.

@Millionsofmonkeys and I are just suggesting an option that the OP may not have considered. Let's not go back to the days of pregnancy confinement. Her partner works in the City so they may well be able to afford to spend a few thousand. They could use it until the youngest is about 4-5. Cycling to school should be encouraged.

I'm sure if you're used to cargo bikes you can keep doing it whilst pregnant. I'm not sure I'd wanting to be taking it up as a new activity when pregnant.

@liveinhope100 there has to be a better solution than pulling the child out of school. While legally its an option it means shes missing out on part of her education and part of that is learning to be around other children.

I'd definitely be asking about school transport. And ive used school transport for a 4 year old child I'm north of the border so not that uncommon.
This is where the application system in England makes little sense. When the majority of kid end up in catchment school then its easy for LA to sort transport

I would just drive it. The road works are temporary, your housing sounds temporary, pregnancy is temporary. Move house and then get her on the waiting list for schools near there. It’s too unsettling to keep moving her.

Set off a bit early and play games in the car. It’s not ideal but you did put it as one of your choices.

Ah yes, the Netherlands. Well known for its hills isn’t it…

Completely different terrain to the UK.

Tell me you are a cyclist without telling me you are a cyclist.

The thing about cyclists is - if OP was a keen cyclist she would have already considered this.

The other thing about cyclists is that they find it absolutely impossible to comprehend that if you aren’t already a cyclist - this sounds fucking wretched.

I think it might be worth talking to the school. If the alternative is to remove your child, they may accept her into the breakfast club early? Worth a shot.

I am a cyclist, extremely pro-cycling, and I have cycled an electric bakfiets in the Netherlands, and there's no fucking way I'd be doing it in the UK while pregnant. Apart from being incredibly expensive, they are unbelievably heavy and it really takes some getting used to to balance them, not to mention the difference in braking compared to a normal bike - not something I'd want to be trying to get to grips with while pregnant. And that's without even touching on the vast difference in safe cycling provision between the UK and the Netherlands.

(In case it wasn't clear, that was me agreeing with you @OldGothsFadeToGrey !)

There's no need to be sarcastic. OP presumably lives somewhere urban given traffic levels, and it's unlikely to be the Himalayas.

It was just a suggestion in case the OP hadn't considered it. I am sure she is capable of deciding if it's an option that might work for her. She doesn't need you to come along and vehemently dismiss it on her behalf.

I think I can hear every health care professional in the OP’s local A&E and maternity units saying ‘nooooo’.

Thank you for sharing your experience! This is pretty much what I pictured 😊