One hour drive to primary - so overwhelmed

[liveinhope100]

My daughter got into the third choice. This school is meant to be 15 minutes away from me. With rush hour and now an unbelievable amount of roadworks, it took me an hour to get there today. I’m pregnant and finding all of this too overwhelming. I’m seriously considering taking her out of school whilst I sort out my property so I can sell and move. There is not much within my price range near her school so I think I will end up having to move her anyway.

My question is, do I take her out of school now or try to slog it out for the next 4-5 months. It’s filling me with absolute dread but I’m not sure what to do. Struggling to even think straight at the moment with all these hormones.

I expect all thousand of those women are following the widespread advice for pregnant women of, if they feel well, to continue the exercise types they are already doing frequently. No doctor however has advised a pregnant woman who doesn’t cycle that she should take up cycling for commuting on roads while carrying a child.

It would be really helpful to have some feedback re walking? It's a much calmer way to start the day.

Re. cargo bike, fab idea. I live in a really hilly city, horrendous traffic. Loads cargo bike around. (Yes including pregnant women, gasp)
Newborns in a basket/car seat in the wagon bit.

It's the way to travel 💅

If baby isn't due til May she is hardly heavily pregnant. Like 1 month gone....

I'm with others no blinking way would i be taking a cargo bike anywhere when pregnant.

Where i live is a long, slow climb, of about a mile, even the lycra bridgade and their ££££ lightweight road bikes struggle on it.
Then throw in a couple of blind bends and the occasional truck. And you'd be taking your life in your hands.

The answer has to be school transport or walk.

Waiting lists where we are stay open for the whole of the first term (before spaces start being managed independently by the schools) so definitely worth phoning the council and asking about nearer schools with places. Headteachers I'm sure would be supportive if you went to meet with any who had spaces.

Well in that case she should spend that money and start cycling through those roadworks in all weathers. Honestly, pregnant women these days, in my day we were up harvesting at 4am in the snow!

Oh yes, gasp! OP really needs to toughen up! When I was pregnant I’d cycle ten miles up hill and use the built in basket to put my morning sickness bag. Whenever I see a pregnant woman now I tell her to buck up buttercup!

Only 4 so no need for her to be at school.

And what about the child's education, jumping back into school won't be easy,with friends or getting back into routine.

Plus getting used to school at the same time as the new baby makes an appearance just sounds like a nightmare.

I'd get council to sort transport.
I wouldn't entertain the idea of a bike unless there is a well used dedicated cycle path.

FfS why are people acting like suggesting cycling what should be a 10 min drive and is therefore probably 3 miles max is such an outlandish suggestion? Why is cycling 6 miles when pregnant akin to getting up at 4am and harvesting snow? A 3 mile bike ride takes about 20 mins on average. A very slightly pregnant person is generally perfectly capable of cycling 20 mins on urban roads, even if it's raining, and especially on an electric bike. There might even be a cycle route that isn't accessible to cars; for example where I live one could use a former train track or a canal side towpath.

It was just a suggestion that OP is perfectly capable of considering and dismissing herself. Some of you oh so sarcastic folks are acting like I suggested she crawl there and back over broken glass whilst carrying an elephant.

Sure, but we’re not talking about a short term situation are we? We’re talking about an ongoing situation with a pregnant woman who already says she’s struggling. Breaking news - she’s going to get more pregnant. Sure, if you were doing it consistently before you were pregnant, you might feel comfortable carrying on for a while. Even then, it would be quite reasonable to decide not to continue.

Maybe it might have been reasonable to say ‘OP have you considered this type of bike’ and then back off when she says that that wouldn’t actually work for her. But to keep going on about it when clearly it wouldn’t be something everyone would feel comfortable with, pregnant or not, is tone-deaf.

The exaggerations - it’s called hyperbole and serves a purpose here.

Actually yes, roadworks are usually temporary.

I haven't "kept going on about it," and OP herself hasn't made any response to the idea. I made the post, then a number of 'mean girls' piled on ridiculing a perfectly reasonable suggestion. All my other posts have been to say OP is capable of deciding herself whether she's up for it, and a 20 minute bike ride isn't as outlandish a suggestion as you are making out.

I just find the ridicule and scoffing unpleasant. There's no need for it.

I’m genuinely sorry if it came across as ridiculing, that wasn’t my intention. I can imagine that the two years that OP refers to for the roadworks probably does feel pretty permanent at this point though.

The pile on I see is people piling onto OP telling her she can cycle or walk.

It's a 15 min drive on a good day. It's unlikely to be a 20 min cycle, especially with a 4 year old in tow. And even if it were, that would be 40 mins of cycling before she gets in her car and drives to work. I can only imagine how I would react to that suggestion when the problem I was bringing to the table was that an hour's driving is too hard on top of everything else she is doing.

We've had a lot of long term (normally replacing gas/water mains) round here and it does effect the traffic.
However if they've just gone up it's normally really bad, but it tapers off quite quickly as people discover different routes/go at different times and adapt around it.

So beginning of last week 4 way temporary traffic lights started on my route.
Normal journey out of rush hour takes 23 minutes.
Normal journey in rush hour (when I have to go) 28 minutes.
10 days ago it took 49 minutes
By the end of last week it was taking just under 40 minutes
This week it's been around 32 minutes, but every day has been slightly quicker, today was 30 minutes.

Even without the traffic lights you do get some variation - worst I had was 90 minutes when a main road was closed, but no sign until I was pretty much there, and then I had to backtrack to an alternative route - as everyone else was.
But generally it takes between 25 and 35 minutes.

So don't despair yet! It'll probably improve quite a bit in the next week or so.

They are within catchment

Where has Op said they are within catchment?
A 15min drive on a good day means that its probably over the 2 miles so school transport should be an option.

And if its less than 2 miles then walking and scootering are probably quicker than sitting in road works.

People are still going on about bikes, not at chance would I try to cycle my child to school unless your in a flat area with proper cycle lanes, you'd be taking your life in your hands.
Even at that their are a crazy number of accidents involving cyclists in the UK. Its not that long ago from an experienced cyclist was killed on a cycle lane in Glasgow. She'd told her family about the junction where she met her end with a truck.

I don’t think you get school transport if you choose an out of catchment school. No idea if this school is catchment or not but it was one of OP’s choices.

I have a distinct feeling that Dutch roads are far more equipped to deal with bikes...cycle lanes etc etc. There is not one cycle lane between where I am and the town 4 miles away for example, so you would be comparing apples and oranges.

@Gratedcamembert I don't really understand how the English school system works, but it was her 3rd choice school. Surely that means closer schools are full or move the child to a closer school

@Barrenfieldoffucks
Totally agree the Dutch have been designing their towns and cities to accommodate bikes since about the 1960s.
The UK hasn't and has become very car orientated with loads of 'out of town' stuff thats impossible to get to without a car.

I’m with the person who said leave an hour earlier and do breakfast together. It may not help in the afternoons but you won’t have the stress at both ends of the day. I don’t blame you for moving. I did that for exactly the same reasons as you. Best thing I ever did.

LA are obliged to fund transport if the child is attending their nearest suitable school and it's over 2 miles away. There are some complexities round that but roughly, if there's a closer or catchment one that she didn't list as a preference then she is deemed to have "chosen" this school over that one, and would not be eligible for transport. However if she listed all closer/catchment schools above this one and didn't get them then her daughter IS attending her closest suitable school, catchment or not, and she gets transport if over 2 miles away.

You're right that generally children don't get transport out of catchment when the parents have chosen to send them there, but it's different when they have made "best endeavours" to get them into their catchment school by putting that higher on the list.

However it's probably a moot point, I don't think OP is up for the transport option. I hope school can come up with something that helps you OP.

OP says this school was on her 'pick' list, her 3rd choice, so she is responsible for getting her there.

This is why I always advise parents to only list catchment schools or schools they are willing and able to get their children to on their own.

Denmark is fantastic for cycling: flat, safe, separate, well lit and well maintained cycle lanes.

Everything the UK is not when it comes to cycling.

I don’t believe that’s the case, is it? A school can be your catchment school, and be your first choice, and if it is that distance away, depending on the LEA, then they absolutely do provide transport.