4 year old starting reception…sending 4 days before CSA

[user1485276096]

my 4 yo starts school in september, cant quite believe it and i havent taken to it ‘well’ and ive been extremely sad which is something i never expexted. I have always ‘gone against the grain’ and never been that traditional, i would of liked to home school but my 4 yo is asking/ wants to go to school and is excited ti go.. so ive had to push my feelings aside and she has a place in september.
after weeks and months of thinking, feeling sad, thinking how things will work i still cant shift my feelings of sadness and dislike of the school system at such a young age..
i am set on sending her 4 days not 5 untill she reaches the compulsory school age of 5 - the term after they turn 5 so works on january for us. I dont feel missing a day a week wil have an effect at this early reception stage and i feel it will create a fair balance of home, school, family and outside school learning , yet obviously when you tell people your plans your met with opinions on both ends. Just looking to see anyone else has done part time before CSA and if it was due to having similar reasons to mine.

Exactly. I love that parents have the right to defer or be flexible before CSA if their desire to do so is for the benefit of their child. I am for parents fighting for their child's needs.

When a parent makes a decision based on what they want, simply because they can, it can become a selfish decision. The child should always be at the centre of the decision. Reading the OP, this is clearly a case of me me me what I want because I can.

They make a good point though. Whilst I don't know whether your daughter's school is oversubscribed or not, let's just say for arguments sake that it is. It would be pretty frustrating for those parents whose child missed out on a place at their preferred school to find out that someone who got a place was only intending to use it part time initially.

I know that's kind of irrelevant to the issue in question, but I understand the point the other poster was making.

Have you considered speaking to her school? Speaking to professionals about what is best for your child is much better than some facebook groups.

Serious question OP, have you considered private school? If they are some of your issues with our school system, it sounds like private might be the way to go.

I'm not normally an advocate for private education at all, but after reading this comment it occurred to be that it might be a better fit for you.

Asking a question / asking a request to a school is certainly not damaging, the council actually encouraged the question to be asked ( they said its common) . Its more damaging to not ask questions and shove them in the front door.

i wouldn't take my child permanently out of school.. but if i did you do no thats legal right? Shes not gettinf abducted by aliens.. legally you are allowed to flexi school, home school or unschool. You may not like it. But its allowed and ir happens

Its not something i have looked in to but i know someone who sends their child to one - theres no holiday fines and things are dealt with in a different way - one of my friends little girls class mates was off for 3 months on a world trip and the school encouraged it was educational.. but obviously having one day a week off in reception at state school is seen as the devils work🤣

Do you have the skills for home schooling? Good spelling, use of capital letters and punctuation for a start.

That's not what I'm saying though.

I'm saying you've already decided that you know better than school and you are already on collision course with school because they WILL say it's disruptive and will not help socially. At that point given your views about always going against the grain (cos you are anti-establishment) you will see it as proving your own preconceived views.

You are basically looking for ways to back yourself up against your own expressed view by your child so you can go 'oh well I did the right thing because...

You can see it from our space where your head is and who is more important - you or your child.

That's just not true.

Children don't have to go to school full time until the term after they turn 5 ... with agreement of the school.

I did something similar with 2 of mine because they were summer babies. Worked out fine.

Hard disagree.

I've been lucky enough to be at home for DS the whole way through Primary so I could have done the same. He was one of the youngest in the year so it would have meant missing weeks worth of schooling across the year which, as an educator, I recognise can have negative affects on learning.

We get a lot of holidays in the UK. Sending a child to school for 5 days a week is hardly any different to 4 and there are plenty of opportunities for days out, plus many schools run their own forest schools etc so DS may want to use those, rather than external clubs.

My point is, you should go with what your DD wants, not what you are seemingly craving, which is a period of transition for YOU to get used to her being at school full time.

Didn't want to read and run...

Sure as hell the modern edcuational system is swell :)

Just look at how well we are doing globally across all measures ....

😂😂😂😂

“I think the big mistake in schools is trying to teach children anything, and by using fear as the basic motivation. Fear of getting failing grades, fear of not staying with your class, etc. Interest can produce learning on a scale compared to fear as a nuclear explosion to a firecracker.” -Stanley Kubrick

OP, in case this might be of interest to you
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I’m assuming you don’t work? Just make sure all the chores are done whilst your DD is at school so that you can spend the weekend focussing fully on family time. And when she’s sad at half term because she has to have a week off school and misses her teacher / friends / school dinners, you’ll understand that for the vast majority of little ones, school is a great place!

Given how keen your child is on starting school, and their age, I’d start with 5 days knowing you can drop to 4.

from what you’ve said I think they will love school and won’t really be up for part time. My youngest is like that. She hates missing school. She’s already asking when she can go back.

”i would of liked to home school”

OP if you do end up home schooling, please ensure that your grammar and punctuation is up to scratch, because it’s not fair to teach your child incorrectly.

You know you’ve won on here when others resort to criticism of your spelling, grammar or punctuation!

Absolutely this.

sorry OP but I think you need to put your grown up hat on and get over it I’m afraid. There are many of us, some with children actually younger, that have bit the bullet and are sending their kids full time before CSA. It’s building structure and routine, getting them used to school and socialising with lots of different children/adults.

Through your child’s life are you just going to opt out of things because it makes you sad?? Personally don’t think it sets a good example to demonstrate oh we don’t like something so we won’t do it. Where does it end.

Gosh OP you want to spend time with your daughter - which will also be educational. Walks in woods , making cakes etc etc . Four is very young for school. Trust your gut and do what is right for your daughter . Missing one day a week for a term will make no difference what so ever. Mine all had staggered starts as was the norm years ago . One daughter only had a few weeks in reception as starting after Easter was delayed due to school building work . She is now a professional with several degrees.
But can I suggest also getting involved in school life . Maybe offering to volunteer with reading (won’t be your child’s class) , join PTA etc. This may help you to feel part of the school too and not separated from your daughter .

I have a degree… just because I make errors whilst typing on a phone doesn't mean shit🤣

I actually have a degree.. but luckily for me I don’t put all my brain power in to a mums net forum.

Because it meant i had 4 days with her. Not 2.

This.