4 year old starting reception…sending 4 days before CSA

[user1485276096]

my 4 yo starts school in september, cant quite believe it and i havent taken to it ‘well’ and ive been extremely sad which is something i never expexted. I have always ‘gone against the grain’ and never been that traditional, i would of liked to home school but my 4 yo is asking/ wants to go to school and is excited ti go.. so ive had to push my feelings aside and she has a place in september.
after weeks and months of thinking, feeling sad, thinking how things will work i still cant shift my feelings of sadness and dislike of the school system at such a young age..
i am set on sending her 4 days not 5 untill she reaches the compulsory school age of 5 - the term after they turn 5 so works on january for us. I dont feel missing a day a week wil have an effect at this early reception stage and i feel it will create a fair balance of home, school, family and outside school learning , yet obviously when you tell people your plans your met with opinions on both ends. Just looking to see anyone else has done part time before CSA and if it was due to having similar reasons to mine.

This. It's all ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME. Your 4 year old seems more mature than you OP.

If it was based on your child's needs - fine.
As it's not, it's about your needs - shitty parenting.

I know such a terrible parent sending her to school and also having an openness to home school.. damn me

Please don't go into her school years being arbitrarily difficult. She is starting school at the usual age. Reception is a lot like a good nursery pre-school. She will be fine doing five days like all the other children her age.

Reception is normally a lot more fun and engaging than nursery so I wouldn’t compare them

"I've always gone against the grain" or similar sentiments feature a couple of times in your posts. I wonder if this is more about your desire to be "different"/ rebellious? If so, it's a rather adolescent impulse.

I assume you are aware that whilst you may not be fined, if the school has a waiting list they may choose to de-register your child and give the place to someone else.

Remember a large part of parenting is to not be selfish and do what’s best for your child. Home Ed is fine for some but your child has already vocalised that it’s not what they want. Everything you post so far is about you and what you want. It’s no longer about you.

Arbitrarily difficult. HAHAHAHAHA I just snorted tea and showed that to my Reception class teacher friend. She rolled her eyes and said oh yeah there is one in every year group.

Why is this one child incapable of 5 days when every other one in the class is? Oh I wonder. Sounds like OP needs to get a job, or a hobby.

I assume you are aware that whilst you may not be fined, if the school has a waiting list they may choose to de-register your child and give the place to someone else.

That would be unlawful, @IntrepidCat. Read the School Admissions Code.

This!

Id rather be ‘that’ parent than be the one celebrating after the 6 weeks is over as i cant stand my own kids

I dont think its that deep. Im self employed, flex job and have never agreed that young kids should go to an institution 5 days a week, its a lot for an adult to do that never mind a 4 year old

@user1485276096

You aren’t going to get the answers you want here as most posters are so preoccupied with institutionalising young children with a one size fits all approach. There are some great FB groups (flexible admissions for summer born children I think is the name of one) come and speak to like minded people !

I live in Scotland, grew up here and have 2 children in school. I also work in a sector that has close contact with schools.

Have never come across someone flexi schooling.

I was also coming on to say you're not going to get useful replies if you're only hearing from parents who send their kids to school and never even considered any different.
We used to use a home ed forest school that was actually mostly kids who went to school 4 days a week and did forest school for one day. None of them had problems at school.
Reception classes don't cover a subject once and then assume all kids know it, it's constant recapping.

I am surprised though that you're letting your child make such a big choice. If you don't feel she's ready, or that school is the right thing for her, you can make the decision to home educate if it's the right thing for both of you.

Actually, until the term after a child reaches compulsory school age, a child doesn’t have to go to school at all or can go part time. Under the updates school attendance guidelines, it now requires the agreement of the head teacher as to how that attendance happens.

I'm a reception teacher and in my experience this is something which has become more common, particularly since covid. It is completely your right to send your child to school part time until the term after they reach CSA, the school cannot refuse it, and a good school will work with you to discuss the day(s) which would be least disruptive and balance the child's needs alongside this. Often we have children who don't attend on a Wednesday so that they have a little break mid-week.

Just my opinion, but I've not noticed a difference academically between those who are in full-time and those who are at home for part of the week. Generally, the parents who wish to have more time with their children are also the ones keen to read with them, expose them to additional opportunities etc. You just need to do what feels right for your family 😊

Your kid will be one of the oldest given they’re turning 5 in the first term. They’ll make loads of friends and spend basically all of their time playing one way or another. Don’t make them miss a day a week of fun! Your attitude is crucial for both their education and socialisation, keep that in mind.

Nursery was 3 days 9-6, school days will be shorter and usually finish around 3 so you will be gaining extra time from end of school until 6pm. She doing long nursery days already so shorter hours over 5 days only equates to a couple more hours a week than she is spending in nursery now. Plus, unlike nursery you will gain all the school holiday time with her. With regard to being against the institutionalising of children I have trouble seeing your point when you've already sent her to nursery for long days. Even at the most relaxed settings they are expected to conform to some degree

My twins start school in just under 3 weeks time aged 5 years and 2 weeks after we delayed them going into school for a full year as we knew they wouldn’t be ready at 4 years and 2 weeks - in fact, they wouldn’t have got in to our first choice school if we had applied last year.

You do what is right for your child as you know how they cope with things as they are already!! You may well find that, by January, she’s ready for 5 days a week whereas she might not be now!!

You have a child at a perfectly normal age for starting school who is excited to go. Happy days, she'll probably take to it like a duck to water.

You don't seem to know a huge amount about Reception, which is fine as you haven't been through it yet. They learn through play, and it's incredible how much they pick up. My DD (who turned 5 in the April) started the year barely willing to write her name and finished it writing simple sentences independently. And they don't even realise they're learning. The teachers are wizards. She came on hugely socially too, even though she was a nursery kid and very confident going in.

If she's excited about starting, not crazy young and you've no worries about additional needs I just don't know why you would put her at odds to her classmates (she'll miss out on trips, or PE or forest school, or things like planting the seeds and such as others have said), or start off on a difficult footing with the school.

As others have said, your post is all about you rather than your DD's personality or needs.

It does sound a bit like this.

It also sounds quite social media driven. There’s so much discourse online, especially if you find yourself in “alternative” parenting groups, not to make mainstream parenting decisions or follow the herd in any way (following the alternative herd however, is mandatory 😅). Also a lot of discourse about the evils of the school system, hence the pressure to insist on flexi schooling, or to home school…

The school system in this country is far from perfect but it isn’t all bad. Sometimes I think our parents’ generation had it so much easier, not having the internet around making them question everything they did.

It does sound a bit like you're trying to make yourself feel better, rather than doing what is best for DD.

In your emotional state, I can see why keeping control of a bit of the narrative would make you feel better but, again, it's about you, not DD.

You need to let her give this the best possible shot, IMO. Hopefully she will love school, settle well and absolutely fly but you need to prepare yourself for dealing with any issues that arise (arguments with friends etc) in a way that doesn't result in you projecting all of these big feelings onto the school and reacting in a way that hinders her, rather than helps.

If she really wants it then it sounds like she's ready.

You need to help her become resilient, now. It's a different role but it's an important one.

Part of the reason the schools don't like it is they get to see how this hinders the kids who aren't there as much.

It's incredible how much kids learn in Reception.

I don't understand why you'd want to hinder that.

I'm inclined to be another that agrees with this wholeheartedly!

Honestly you sounds pretty self centred in all of your posts, your child is excited about school despite all your crying, moping and trying to be different let the poor kid go to school and remember it's not about you, it's about her.