4 year old starting reception…sending 4 days before CSA

[user1485276096]

my 4 yo starts school in september, cant quite believe it and i havent taken to it ‘well’ and ive been extremely sad which is something i never expexted. I have always ‘gone against the grain’ and never been that traditional, i would of liked to home school but my 4 yo is asking/ wants to go to school and is excited ti go.. so ive had to push my feelings aside and she has a place in september.
after weeks and months of thinking, feeling sad, thinking how things will work i still cant shift my feelings of sadness and dislike of the school system at such a young age..
i am set on sending her 4 days not 5 untill she reaches the compulsory school age of 5 - the term after they turn 5 so works on january for us. I dont feel missing a day a week wil have an effect at this early reception stage and i feel it will create a fair balance of home, school, family and outside school learning , yet obviously when you tell people your plans your met with opinions on both ends. Just looking to see anyone else has done part time before CSA and if it was due to having similar reasons to mine.

Because a four year old can’t possibly know what’s best for them or what being in a school environment will demand of them!

Trouble is that she'd then miss the non-academic stuff a lot of the time. This could then lead to thinking school isn't fun and with a parent who is struggling with the idea that her baby is grown up and ready/wanting to go to school, you can end up creating a school refusal situation.

Op you don't love your dc any more than the rest of us!! Send the poor kid to school! My ds was 4 on August 10th and went in fine. Some days he was asleep in the carpet at home time though!

Until they compulsory school age fines and absences are not regulated until the term after they turn 5 - https://www.gov.uk/schools-admissions/school-starting-age#:~:text=Your%20child%20must%20start%20full,fifth%20birthday%20%2D%20whichever%20comes%20first.

ive even spoke to the council who confirmed you can basically do as you please until January ( term after they are 5) - the school may not like it and its best to tell them what you are doing but nothing can be done by law at this point.

the absence code for under CSA comes under X which is an ‘under school age’ absence and authroised

I dont think its a crime to want to spend one day a week with my child at this young age - like i said id like to home school, but im not doing that as she wants to go. If i was completely self driven id of gone down that route and not applied to school.

this is my concern. She goes 3 full days to nursery 9-6 and gets fed up of that sometimes…

Send your child to school full time and see how they get on. In my experience they will be absolutely fine and there will be no benefit to sending them in only 4 days a week. Other than to make you happy.

If I’ve read this right, your child turns 5 in the first time. They’re one of the oldest in their year.

i understand that YOU want to have the day in the week with them.

I also see you acknowledging that your child WANTS to go to school.

I suspect very quickly your child will want to go to school 5 days. They won’t want to miss out on what their friends are doing.

Seeing our children grow up is really hard. They do grow up though and as parents we need to let them.

Yeah i was unsure it was common or not im on a few flexi schooling pages and alot are sending them part time pre csa and alot less 2 days a week for example. Its 100 percent a mind field which i have to invovle my
own feelings and hers. Im open minded though and happy to change my mind either way. Yeah, its a tricky one for sure.

@user1485276096 move to Scotland. Loads flexi school. Average at three days a week but some do four. Very few bother with a Friday, half day anyway here. Lunch 11.30 then home

Completely untrue , child who is not CSA can attend whenever the parents want them to.

If she wants to go 5 days id happily let up the day in the week. She goes to nursery 3 days at the moment and sometimes
gets fed up of that to be honest and says she wants to stay home and doesn't want to go.

What will you do when she is CSA and says she's fed up and doesn't want to go?

That's awful that the school lied to your friend. It was 100% their choice and not the schools.

I saw this! It shocked me how different it was

Do you work weekends @user1485276096 If not you will still have two full days as well as the time before and after school with your dc. They are also only in school 38 weeks of the year.

I hear what you’re saying. My summer born child will start school at compulsory school age (this September) and it’s a whole school year after she was technically able to start school. So I’m not adverse to doing things differently.

There is no way I would do any kind of part time schooling unless it was for health reasons eg a child recovering from surgery who needs to maintain schooling and friendships.

At my children’s school they learn a new phonics sound a day and learning to write it, by Christmas they will be reading simple books and by the end of the year they will be writing sentences with support. If they’re missing 20% of education that will be difficult.

If it became a problem / she didnt like school we have always said wed look in to other educational methods. As its a long time to be unhappy but Theres a difference of not wanting to go because you are a bit tired or not going because it makes you unhappy

I understand, its a difficult choice isnt it. I have always gone against the ‘norm’ and just because everyone does something doesn't mean its right for all or it shouldn't be questioned or challanged . Theres alot we dont agree with the school system the fines etc..

Exactly - so she's not unhappy at this time, send her and see how it goes.

Ill happily try it and see how she finds it first

It's worth remembering that this first term is bloody exhausting too @user1485276096 so she probably will get tired and more fed up quicker. It doesn't mean she's hating it. You also need to take everything they say with a pinch of salt at this age...when they say it is boring, they did nothing, didn't play with anyone...it's usually quite the opposite!

I’m surprised at negativity! This is a GREAT idea. For any summer born dc you can defer or choose to go PT - any days/ times you want!
Or just do PT till the child is CSA (term after 5th birthday)

It should not be one size fits all- some children need a much more gradual introduction to school. They won’t suffer they’ll benefit from pacing.

Do what’s right for your dc !!

I think the negativity @Abuseandptsdsurvivor is around the part-time option as it's potentially quite disruptive for all involved - and the concerns here seem to be that she'll be fed up (which isn't really a valid reason in my own personal opinion). A better option would be just to start them the term after they are 5 as you are entitled to do so.

I am a summer baby myself and my mother started me in the following September.

3 days doing 9 to 6 in childcare aren't really the same as doing 9 to 3 (give or take) in a structured school setting that's specifically catered to the year group they're in.