ok, ds2 claims the teacher pushed him, what can I expect to happen?

[kittywise]

Ds2(8) has a supply teacher covering for a teacher on maternity leave.
The class do not like the supply teacher, but I have said to ds2 that he just has to put up with it etc.
Today he came home and told me she had pushed him on the chest when telling him to sit back down.
Now he can be a naughty boy at times, not awful, just pushing the boundaries like many 8 year old boys, I am under no illusions.
After great questioning and giving him a chance to 'retract ' the statement I phoned the head and told him what ds had told me.
So, now what can I expect to happen?
I wish none of this had happened, either way it's a very tricky situation.

Divastrop on Fri 14-Mar-08 12:08:16
"just replying to the op so i cane come back later...i am shocked by how many people think this is ok.'but he should have been doing what he was told'wtf??

if a teacher pushed my child(as opposed to guiding them in the right direction with their hand)then i would expect them to be sacked.it wasnt even acceptable whn i was at school."

I think the problem for many of us is that we weren't there, we can't really know if it was a gentle guiding or a push. Nor can the OP, really, without speaking to other eyewitnesses.

I have known one of ds's mates to come home with some quite scary stories about things that have been happening at school, and then ds (who is a calmer sort) has said to me afterwards, 'well, I was there, Mum, and it didn't actually happen like he said'.

Kittywise, having read all the posts (just so you don't accuse me of having skipped most) and keeping to the calm and tone of my previous posts, the person who has been most "nasty" has been you.

You have repeatedly pounced on all those who disagree with you as not caring about their children's welfare. This is an unnecessarily cruel thing to say and not the way to win your argument.

The overwhelming response has been along the lines of "You don't know for sure what happened, speak to his teacher to hear both sides of it", which you ignored (personally I thought Twigglet's advice particularly sensible).

I am not attacking you, I think you need to calm down a little. It is your animosity that posters have responded to negatively.

I hope it all works out with the school and there are no further problems with this teacher.

I was the rudest though, I thought

I have to apologise, I rarely swear when talking to people. It must have been a bit of a 'moment'. Sorry.

Naughty Flight!

You will be grounded for one weekend - an irresistable pun

Piffle I wasn't being patronising just pointing out that groups of parents (mothers) can in my experience be a "force to reckon with" when they get their teeth into an issue or sometimes into an other parent or teacher. Like all gossip rumours start to fly and information often gets "muddled" and what started as a minor incident can blow out of all proportions. I really don't see going in "all guns blazing" is best for anyone. Get both sides then decide what to do.

I find it hard to believe that any head teacher worthy of the job would be discussing with parents that he is keeping a 'log' of complaints against one of his staff. Sounds like a shite head teacher to me.

now i have really seen it all.the op was rude becuase she defended her 8 year old son on a thread where he was basically being called an asbo case for not sitting down?
8 year old children deserve to be pushed if they dont do as they're told?

is it ok for parents to push their children when they dont do as told then?

oh sorry,i forgot,we have gone back to the victorian ages and you husbands probably have sticks to beat you all with when you are 'defiant'

kittywise i'm sure knows her ds, whom she has said is a good worker, and a sensitive, thoughtful boy. he hardly ever complains about teachers. he comes to mum with a valid complaint and she acts on it, bearing in mind that there have been other incidents.

i don't understand the assumptions that people have made, and continue to make despite kitty's protestations:

her son is a yob, the headmaster is incompetent, and the poor supply teacher is a victim.

the world has truly gone mad. unbelievable.

No one said he was being an asbo case, Diva, they said he was being disobedient - which he was.

No one is advocating violence towards children, Diva, they are suggesting KW get all the facts first.

That's right, Diva, we are all children beating scum who are in turn beaten by our husbands

I work with 15 year olds - so little experience with younger children (other than my own of course ) - the number of parents who have absolutely no idea of what their child is like at school is astounding.

My 10 year old comes home with tales of what his friends have done or said, but when they're with me they are perfect and polite.

KW's son is not a yob, he is a normal 8 year old as far as I can see. The head teacher has behaved unprofessionally. The supply teacher has not been consulted by the op, no one is saying she is innocent, but nor is she proven guilty.

I am in entire agreement with KW.

An 8 year old is a child, unlikely to be perfectly behaved all the time.

A teacher should be able to deal with children's behaviour good and bad.

I do not condone ANY adult pushing my children, not me, not their grandparents but most of all not a teacher. Why? because they more than us are suposed to be trained to work with children.

This was not an adult sized, aggresive teenager, but an 8 year old boy.

I would do exactly what KW did and I suspect the head would have the same reaction to KW's head.

Yes, children/people lie but I know when my children are telling the truth so KW knows when her child is telling the truth. Why are a bunch of mothers doubting this mothers instinct.

Be ashamed of yourselves for picking faults with KW's posts, her child, her attitude.

If we don't stick up for our children then who on earth will.

I don't think it is a case of anyone lying but often what a child construes as a "push" may not be considered as such by an adult. Which makes it doubly important to hear both sides before deciding if any action is required.

It's 6 o'clock. Anyone ready for a glass of wine?
I've seen this sort of stuff going on with teachers - usually supply teachers - before. Once a negative opinion takes hold amongst children and parents, it's well-nigh impossible to stamp it out. So, who knows what really happened? I don't see anyone on here advocating the beating of innocent children, just some suggesting, not unreasonably, that the OP is sure of her facts before setting off an irreversible chain of events. And I might also say, as a primary school teacher of 22 years' standing, that I have seen the nicest kids in the world play up teachers whom they (and their parents, interestingly) think are weak. So yes, the OP may well have cause for concern in that case, but tread carefully. Someone's livelihood may be at stake here.

yes, dp is off out on the razz and I'm muchly looking forward to a night on my own infront of the tv with some glasses of G&T

I have 'bothered' to actually 'read' all of the posts on this thread thanks. And I wouldn't be happy about my DCs being 'pushed' by a teacher. Your's wasn't. I think (not sure as you keep changing your story, but according to last report) that he was eased back into a sitting position from a kneeling position. I wouldn't have had a problem with that-but then it wouldn't happen because my kids have respect for authority, even supply teachers. And I make a point of not gossiping about teachers with other mums. Please don't take the moral high-ground. You really have no right to be there.

I like your post scanner - good point. Kitty is just being a good Mum by being concerned.

did i miss something?has it been confirmed(maybe by cctv footage?)that kitty's ds was 'gently guided back to a seated position'?

but of course,yes,everyone must do as they are told without question or face the consequences...

hellooooo!we are in the 21st century now.

did i miss something?has it been confirmed(maybe by cctv footage?)that kitty's ds was 'gently guided back to a seated position'?

but of course,yes,everyone must do as they are told without question or face the consequences...

hellooooo!we are in the 21st century now.

did i miss something?has it been confirmed(maybe by cctv footage?)that kitty's ds was 'gently guided back to a seated position'?

but of course,yes,everyone must do as they are told without question or face the consequences...

hellooooo!we are in the 21st century now.

LE were you there? Are you infact ds2's supply teacher ( it's all coming clear now). What ds2 demonstrated to me and had the head demonstrate on him it was certainly much more than a 'gentle guiding' I wouldn't particularly have a problem with that. What ds2 showed was indeed a shove/push.
So you read the posts? Perhaps comprehension is an issue then. You kids have "respect for authority". So they are never disobedient/naughty? Are you at school with them all day. Do you know what goes on when you're not around? Come on, that was a foolish thing to say.

So your kids must be the only ones in the history of mankind that don't get told off because they commit a minor indiscretion at school!!!!
If you truly, truly believe that then they are right royally pulling the wool over your eyes.

Sleepycat I have never tried to say that he shouldn't obey teachers. I have said this many times in this thread. It doesn't change the fact that she shouldn't have pushed him.
I know my son. He wouldn't have batted an eye at 'gentle guiding'.

He is no different to any 8 year old boy; Sometimes good, sometimes 'naughty' sometimes curious and over enthusiastic etc etc.
No one deserves to be pushed. It is somewhat irrelevant how hard she 'pushed' the fact it is it was inappropriate and unnecessary and showed a distinct lack of self control and classroom management ability.

The parents of the children in that class have serious worries. I am just one of them.

In order to dismiss someone you have to build up a lot of evidence and many procedures have to be gone through, verbal, written warnings etc. I'm sure that keeping a log of reported incidents is legal requirement.

Let's look at it from another angle.

What, Kittywise, do you think the teacher should have done given that your son was not listening to her?

Bloody hell. Given that kittywise knows her own child and knows the context at her own school, I am guessing that she knows better than we all do whether there is a possibility that the push was something inappropriate, rather than a guiding touch.

And as for 'inconsistencies' in her story, those are probably down to the fact that she stated the facts casually, on a chat site, not with the forensic consistency that some posters seem to expect.

Her approach to the school was pretty moderate, and seems to have been constructively received.

This thread is really odd.

Thankyou ringworm

ScienceTeacher what she should have done was to tell him to sit back down. If he got up again she should have given him a warning that if he were to do it again he would /would not___ (fill in the blanks).

What I suspect happened is that she felt stressed and exasperated generally, (he was kneeling up to look at the dragon heads they had made, according to ds2), it was a loss of control, knee jerk reaction, he sat up, she pushed him back down.
It is her job to stay in control. But from what I have heard from the children she has sudden 'outbursts'.

But repeated telling/ignoring is disruptive to the whole class...