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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

ok, ds2 claims the teacher pushed him, what can I expect to happen?

279 replies

kittywise · 12/03/2008 16:58

Ds2(8) has a supply teacher covering for a teacher on maternity leave.
The class do not like the supply teacher, but I have said to ds2 that he just has to put up with it etc.
Today he came home and told me she had pushed him on the chest when telling him to sit back down.
Now he can be a naughty boy at times, not awful, just pushing the boundaries like many 8 year old boys, I am under no illusions.
After great questioning and giving him a chance to 'retract ' the statement I phoned the head and told him what ds had told me.
So, now what can I expect to happen?
I wish none of this had happened, either way it's a very tricky situation.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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Flight · 15/03/2008 14:11

I'm sure they won't, ST. CPD would be a result. Nobody said it was like Pulp fiction.

I'm off

Scotia · 15/03/2008 14:14

I agree with mrz, the head teacher would not leave an allegation of assault on a pupil like this. Nor would he accept one side of the story without investigation.

And if I honestly believed my ds had been 'physically assaulted' by any adult, I would have informed the police and in this case would definitely not allowed him back in that class.

ScienceTeacher · 15/03/2008 16:49

Let's look at it from the Headteacher's point of view.

If there were genuine concerns, they would have given her the big E. This allegation would be enough to tip any feelings (about her cameradie with the class) over the edge. They would be quite ruthless about it, IMO and IME. They would not get rid of her for this incident but for her general teaching and management - the incident would give them the concrete reason for getting rid of her.

They could get in a daily supply teacher to see them through the week or so that it would take them to find someone to take over the mat leave.

The way to deal with genuine classroom management problems (from an otherwise good teacher) is to work with the teacher to develop appropriate strategies. Even though the teacher is temporary, the school will not write her off for a minor indiscretions.

I did two years of contract/supply work (after my very long maternity leave), and I was given plenty of opportunity for CPD. In each of my contract jobs, I had personal training as well as getting involved in whole school insets. I was definitely given help in dealing with behavioural issues and general classroom management. I didn't get in as daily supply, but then I didn't ask for it (it was something I was entitled to though).

You certainly don't write off someone's career because they blocked a disobedient child from moving in the wrong direction.

Pomi · 15/03/2008 17:36

To be honest the teacher has done nothing wrong to discipline.

Divastrop · 15/03/2008 21:30

pomi-physical punishment in schools was outlawed in the uk in the early 80's iirc.

therefore it is wrong.

mrz · 15/03/2008 21:55

Divastrop what physical punishment? Have I missed something here?

If there was the slightest evidence of "physical punishment/assault" the teacher would be immediately suspended pending an investigation of the complaint which as the OP has indicated the teacher is still in school doesn't seem the case.

ScienceTeacher · 15/03/2008 23:39

I don't think the teacher used his hand to punish the child but to guide him into the correct position for learning.

Original poster

kittywise · 16/03/2008 07:27

Ds said that she was cross at the time. She was cross at the time. His was the last group on the carpet with him, the rest of the class were at their desks but some children were being loud and wouldn't quieten down.
So, ds2 kneels up and she has a knee jerk reaction and pushes him back down. I asked him whether he had been warned to sit on his bottom and he said he hadn't. It was the first time he knelt up to look at the masks they were going to wear for their school concert.

Anyway, I not supposed to be here any more. bye

OP posts:

Divastrop · 16/03/2008 11:42

oh well,as you lot were there at the time and i wasnt obviously you know exactly what happened and im just reacting to the op's ds saying his teacher pushed him.

mrz · 16/03/2008 12:54

No Divastrop we weren't there and neither was the OP. As I have said before sometimes what a child calls a push would not be the same as what an adult considers a push. Also if the head believed that a teacher had behaved in an inappropriate way he/she would have no option but to suspend the teacher which clearly has not happened. And finally if a push did occur (which only the child and teacher actually know) I still would not refer to it as physical punishment.

WriggleJiggle · 16/03/2008 13:12

KW - you know that if you want this to be taken seriously you have to put it in writing to the head, not just talk to him. Without a complaint in writing, and the follow up investigation, the head is (legally) unable to issue any warning to the member of staff.

What are you hoping to achieve? Either you need to complain properly, or let it drop.

Poor teacher, not only is she on supply covering a god like teacher, and whom she can never hope to live up to, but she's also going to have to leave part way through the summer term as Mrs Wonderful wants to be able to claim her summer holiday pay.

Divastrop · 16/03/2008 15:40

but the op's ds was there and the oop knows him and knows when he is telling the truth etc,unlike anyone else on this thread.

ok,maybe not physical punisment,more like an act of aggression.still unacceptable.well,i would hope so anyway!

mrz · 16/03/2008 15:47

I didn't say the OPs DS wasn't telling the truth just what an eight year old views as a push may not be construed as such by an adult.

clam · 16/03/2008 16:11

Oh, if I had a pound for every time a parent has sworn their DC is telling the truth when I've witnessed the opposite, I certainly wouldn't be teaching anymore, but sunning myself on a desert island somewhere. KW, that is no reflection on your DS, by the way. I've no idea what happened in this case, as has none of us, because none of us was there, including KW. I do wonder, though, what it has done to the teacher's authority, for the head to have told a child to come straight to him the minute something happens in class he doesn't like....... hmmmn....

Highlander · 17/03/2008 11:28

here'as the flip side.........

SIL is a reception teacher and a couple of years back had a very difficult child who was violent (threw chairs etc). In the first few weeks, she would, once a day, have the child removed from the classroom to give her a chance to demonstrate a bit of peace and quiet with the other kids (who had just started school and were also a wee bit unsettled).

The difficult child was being particularly tricky one day and she called for the head to remove the child. Upshot is, the head 'confessed' (with no regret apparently) that he had 'been a bit rough' with the child ouside the classroom to try and quieten/calm the child.

I was horrified that SIL was so laid back about this. I asked if the mother was informed (no). What would happen if the child told the mum? (SIL) - 'well, no-one will believe him given his behaviour in class, and let's face it, violence seems to be the only language he understands.'

Don't worry I completely got on my soapbox about how 4 year olds aren't inherintely evil, it's ciopied behaviour from home, it's her job to guide him appropriately, blah, blah.

She sorted him out and he was a lot calmer by the end of the term, but the whole conversation haunts me. I feel very suspicious of schools now.

Quattrocento · 17/03/2008 11:35

"This is only the second time in 6 years of being at this school with various children that I've had cause to mention a teacher's behaviuor."

Gosh. Six years in and I've never had cause to mention a teacher's behaviour. I'm sure I could have found cause, had I been that way inclined.

Original poster

kittywise · 17/03/2008 11:40

Yeah well you probably haven't got a many kids

OP posts:

Divastrop · 17/03/2008 12:00

i suppose if your dc get picked up by the nanny and you only see them for half hour at the end of the day then you may not have any idea what goes on at school,i think this is why alot of people on this thread are so jealous scared of the 'playground mafia'.its somehow 'wrong' to stand around chatting while waiting for your dc to come out of school

either that or my time hole/victorian theory is correct.

GooseyLoosey · 17/03/2008 12:16

There has been one occassion where ds's reception teacher confessed to having pushed him. He did not want to go to after-school club and was confused and upset. She needed to get him to go and he would not be reasoned into it. Eventually, after trying to calm him down and talk to him, she man-handled him out of her classroom and turned him over to the after-school carers.

She told me the next morning that she had done this and was clearly very worried about what our reaction was going to be. I do not like this teacher and do not think that she likes or is fair to ds but I asked myself what I would have done in the same situation and tbh, after trying to talk him into it for a while, I would have ended up hauling him to where he should be. I cannot condemn her for acting the way I would have done.

I realise that this is not the same as your situation Kitty and I do not know what I would do in a similar position, but I do not think that it is always wrong for a teacher to man-handle small children.

Original poster

kittywise · 17/03/2008 12:54

or QC maybe you're somewhat not bothered unaware of things going on?

OP posts:

Quattrocento · 17/03/2008 14:44

I have to say I do try to be as unaware as possible of what is going on. As soon as anyone approaches me looking inclined to gossip, I leg it.

If anyone mention "Friends of ... School" (the PTA type thing) and I leg it too.

If anyone asks for a cake, I send a cheque. By post.

Original poster

kittywise · 17/03/2008 16:45

QC I'm of that mind too most of the time, best way to be

OP posts:

FGW94 · 25/07/2018 14:06

I'm with you ' kittywise' I was pushed to the floor as a child by a student teacher in something of a sinister setting (it was at lunch time, there were two teachers present but nobody else). I was shouted at, pushed to the floor, my gender questioned(?) and felt utterly humiliated. And what was the reason which had brought about this chastisement? I should have swapped my lunchtime with someone else so that another person could go playing football. The thing was, nobody had actually involved me in any of the preceding arrangements - not that this should forgive this vile and abusive behaviour. Obviously this was a long time ago but let me tell everyone who reads this, unresolved issues like this ricochet throughout adolescence and into adulthood. I realise this is one year after the event but I would like to know how your issue progressed.

Hersetta427 · 25/07/2018 14:17

FGW - you just resurrected a 10 yr old thread - good effort. How on earth did you find it??

user789653241 · 25/07/2018 14:45

@FGW94, I hope you realise this thread was from 10 years ago. I doubt OP still hang around primary.

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