ok, ds2 claims the teacher pushed him, what can I expect to happen?

[kittywise]

Ds2(8) has a supply teacher covering for a teacher on maternity leave.
The class do not like the supply teacher, but I have said to ds2 that he just has to put up with it etc.
Today he came home and told me she had pushed him on the chest when telling him to sit back down.
Now he can be a naughty boy at times, not awful, just pushing the boundaries like many 8 year old boys, I am under no illusions.
After great questioning and giving him a chance to 'retract ' the statement I phoned the head and told him what ds had told me.
So, now what can I expect to happen?
I wish none of this had happened, either way it's a very tricky situation.

ok vp, I appreciate the tone of you comment

hysterical thread, y'all lambasting kitty for overreacting!! Just reread yourselves to illustrate the word! Playground conspiracy theories... Mafia type undermining... Give it up! If teachers pushed every kid who least forward ( god forbid they should be keen or curious) they'd be no time to teach. Sure punish the little criminal via agreed school parent agreement. But if you need to be using your hands to get a child to behave then you've lost control.
Supply teachers do have shiteous job though that said.

piffle have you ever overheard playground conversations? I have as both a parent and a teacher.

I'd have bollocked my child for his behaviour. I'd be also very concerned that the head was telling me confidential things and worry what else he was saying elsewhere he shouldn't. I'd be concerned that if the situation really was as is painted that the school didn't simply go back to the agency and ask for a different supply teacher.

If I genuinely believed my son had been pushed in the way you believe he has I would take it further and not simply gossip about it in the playground. SOmeone pushed your son with force and that's it???

I hope your son doesnt know how you feel but I am guessing he does as you are party to gossip about the teacher.

I did take it further. The very first thing I did was phone the school. I am happy with the outcome thus far. I wanted it noted and now I shall watch things very carefully.

However I am not of the mind set at all that I am waiting for this teacher to trip up.

I want everything to be all right. I am concerned though.

kittywise you have changed the story to some extent:

'Today he came home and told me she had pushed him on the chest when telling him to sit back down.

He maintains it was a push backwards, she was standing up over him and he was kneeling down.

Twiglet, he WAS sitting down, he was leaning forward to look at something and she pushed him back.'

However the fact remains that if you are not happy about it you need to talk to her, not listen to gossip. You also need to accept that 8yos may not like having a change of teacher and may play her up. Also realise that not all teachers are fantastic and not all kids are perfect. You should also think very carefully about making a decision about what you do regarding such a serious issue on the say-so of the playground mafia. As you are a teacher yourself I'm surprised to find you take this line really.

But you think the teacher actually forcibly shoved your child and that's all you are doing? I don't get it. If that happened to my child I'd expect something to happen and I mean far more than logging it.

quite hercules

This is a depressing thread. No wonder there are so many problems with discipline in schools. Teachers come on here and post about parents who have a pop, but I've not come across it IRL.

I think I would be concerned if my DS1 came home and said a teacher pushed him. I would ask him what happened and what led up to it but I would certainly cobntact the school and ask questions.

Which is what you did Kitty so I am unclear as to why everyone is jumping on you! I think you have been quite reasonable.

Do you know how long she is there for Kitty?

A few weeks ago my DS1 came home and told me that one of the teachers told him "get your hair cut". I was livid because I do not want a teacher publically himilating my child. If she felt his hair was in his eyes she should have spoken with me, not made him feel small in front of everyone.

BTW my children go to an extremely strict and traditional faith school and in now way do I countenance disobediance, but I agree that teachers need to respond to defiance/disobediance in an appropriate way.

You are right to question this Kitty

mrsz you come across as patronising. I have three kids aged 14, 5 and 12 mths, I have taught also. I know the way I behave and what limits I set on my behaviour, but then I'm a soft Montessori type.
I certainly talk in the playground luckily ours is concerned with too much homework/ not enough or Easter parties.
I have had to lay a formal complaint recently against my eldest sons teachers for bullying. I am very considered on this. Actually, so do feel free to inform me of your qualifications to post on this thread then? seeing as it seems to be needed?

hercules, I took it as far as it needed to be taken, no more no less, It is not a question of all all nothing, there are shades of grey, life's like that you know

fitfox, she is there until the middle of the summer term.

The head's reaction 'implied' that I was not some sport of barking mad mother. He did breach any confidences at all.

pushing a child is no good.

Piffle what has been the outcome of your complaint? What happened?

''kittywise you have changed the story to some extent:

'Today he came home and told me she had pushed him on the chest when telling him to sit back down.

He maintains it was a push backwards, she was standing up over him and he was kneeling down.

Twiglet, he WAS sitting down, he was leaning forward to look at something and she pushed him back.''

As Iamdingdong says, this is why people have reacted the way they have. If your son had been really shoved by a teacher I am sure the response would have been different. My DCs are kind, sensitive etc too, but I can honestly say that if they had come home with this story I wouldn't have been concerned, other than to ask them why they were misbehaving. You can't post stuff on a site such as this and ask for opinions, get a huge number of replies, and then cop out by saying you have lost faith in MN because they don't agree with you. Most of the responses have been balanced and informed. Just because we disagree doesn't mean we're wrong. And I don't blame your 8 year old. I blame you.

Nobody like supply teachers, they take bets on how long it will take to make one cry/get them to loose their rag.

If my eight year old daughter doesn't sit down when told to by the teacher she will have more to worry about than getting a little push I can tell you.

Since when did teachers become fair game, kids have too much power over them these days, its guilty until you can prove your innocent.

Nothing very measured in most of the responses as far as I can see, but there you go.

LE, if you bothered to actually read all the posts, which you clearly haven't, you will have read that I said I don't mind anyone having a different opinion.
You will also have read that many of the posts had an unpleasant tone.
Clearly however, you couldn't be bothered to read them all.

So you are the type of mother that would happily allow you child to be pushed by a teacher and say nothing? Great, lucky for your child

Just wanted to second Flight's comments to the effect that the reactions on this thread are weird.

I have loads of sympathy with teachers, the constraints they often face in controlling children, and the huge demands that are made on them.

But if my son was faced with a teacher whose control of the class was very poor, who often shouted and got angry, and who then pushed my child, I would feel anxious.

I wouldn't get on a high horse and launch a big complaint about bullying. But neither did kittywise. I would consider mentioning my anxieties to the head, like kittywise did.

When teachers get 'angry', it's usually an act.

I can only think of a couple of times when I have been genuinely angry (but managed to control it). If a child thinks that the angry 'act' is genuine, then they have reacted the way the teacher planned.

What a strange response to my question. WHat has shades of grey got to do with anything? I repeat, if someone pushed my son in the way you say he was I'd want to know why the teacher was still in class the next day teaching and nothing had been done.
Unless of course you realise that it was more than likely a gentle push to reiterate her point when he was refusing to do as he was asked.....

Hercules there are varying degrees of suspect behaviour by a teacher - there have been several incidents with one of my own child's teachers, which made me sit up and take note - I witnessed them - but did not seem quite to cross the official line.

Lots of little things can be suggestive of a bigger problem.

I would guess that is why the head is keeping an eye on the situation.

Why does that sound so strange?

Completely baffled here.

hercules, the point is no pushing of a child is acceptable imo.
I don't want any teacher pushing my child, any child. Pushing is nasty and aggressive behaviour.

Why do you find the concept so difficult to grasp?

Oh I do like a good ruck

just replying to the op so i cane come back later...i am shocked by how many people think this is ok.'but he should have been doing what he was told'wtf??

if a teacher pushed my child(as opposed to guiding them in the right direction with their hand)then i would expect them to be sacked.it wasnt even acceptable whn i was at school.

i think some people are still living in victorian britain.

Either that or collective lunacy has taken a grip!!