ok, ds2 claims the teacher pushed him, what can I expect to happen?

[kittywise]

Ds2(8) has a supply teacher covering for a teacher on maternity leave.
The class do not like the supply teacher, but I have said to ds2 that he just has to put up with it etc.
Today he came home and told me she had pushed him on the chest when telling him to sit back down.
Now he can be a naughty boy at times, not awful, just pushing the boundaries like many 8 year old boys, I am under no illusions.
After great questioning and giving him a chance to 'retract ' the statement I phoned the head and told him what ds had told me.
So, now what can I expect to happen?
I wish none of this had happened, either way it's a very tricky situation.

Has it occurred to any of you that the child is possibly telling the

TRUTH?

Mrz - i appreciate what you're saying, but he didn't reveal anything about the possible extent of the 'log', he merely suggested to Kittywise that her reporting of the incident (as reported to her) was important, because if there were other complaints it would help build a picture of the whole situation regarding this teacher.

How is that breaching confidentiality?

He didn't sit her down and say, 'well, Mrs Bloggs said she bit her son, and Martha Todd's mum thinks she looks rubbish in her Boden skirt' or anything.

Its pretty clear that the parents have been discussing this teacher and have come to a collective view.

I find it telling, also, that (as Flight pointed out) in relation to the "logged" incidents:

"they have yet to receive any that are actually 'actable on' "

Indeed.

I think this woman is a 'crap' teacher.
The school chose badly
This is only the second time in 6 years of being at this school with various children that I've had cause to mention a teacher's behaviuor.

I do not go running to teachers defending my kids. Most of the time I only talk to the at parents' evenings.

You lot are talking shite

Yes I would hope that the parents might discuss their children's teachers in the light of several reported incidents.

It means little whether these incidents are officially reportable or not. The fact is they are alleged to have taken place and as such should be logged.

The OP is upset that a teacher allegedly used possibly minor physical force against her son. Why the hell is everyone talking to/about her as though she is a blind-to-his-faults, idiot mum who refuses to believe he could possibly have deserved to be told off?

It is the fact it was physical, we don't know how hard, and unnecessary - not to mention illegal - and if it took place, demonstrative of the level of her disciplinary skills.

I am blown away by some of the comments on here.

Flight I am afraid he is breaching confidentiality by saying there have been other complaints he does not have to reveal the details of those complaints to be giving more information than he is allowed.

Threads like this seem to happen from time to time Kitty - I had one once - it went crazy, it was really illogical and as though people had lost their minds. It really upset me at the time.
It's Ok, most of the posts on here are shite.

I lose my faith in MN at moments like this.

He DIDN'T say there were others.

'He said for all I know I could be the fifth person that this has happened to.'

"Why the hell is everyone talking to/about her as though she is a blind-to-his-faults, idiot mum who refuses to believe he could possibly have deserved to be told off?"

Well, I'm guessing it's because her earlier posts didn't seem to show much awareness of the fact that it might not have happened quite as her son described, because she went to talk to the head before even bothering to find out what had happened, and because she said some factually incorrect things about touching kids being illegal.

Thankyou flight, really appreciate that.
It is insane what they're saying , I know it is, sometimes Mn gets into this lunacy mode, being contrary for no reason other than there is a kind of feeding frenzy going on.
yes I have lost faith in it tonight.
it is not to do with others having a differing points of view it is the nastiness with which things have been said.
After years of feeling supported I too feel as if I have lost faith.

'i did mention it to a couple of other mothers this morning and apparently a log is being kept of complaints about this teacher so i am clearly not the only one. I was not aware of any such record being kept.'

This is simply a result of several of the parents having presumably been told that he will log their individual complaints - that would, obviously, make it a log of several complaints. No?

Kathy, I thought her earlier posts were about fair actually. I'd have gone to the head because I don't think a confrontation between the two parties involved would have been helpful at all.

Why would it have to be a confrontation though Flight? Surely most adults should be able to at least try to clear things up in a friendly and non-aggressive manner?

As a teacher, I'm rather in two minds about all this. Using any kind of physical restraint is incredibly poor judgement IMO. And it might well be as simple as guiding him back into position, but, particularly where there are classroom management issues anyway (and this teacher cannot be unaware of the mutterings), it does strike me as poor professional judgement. Which is a worry. And of course, if it were any more forceful than that, it would be misconduct.

The Head seems to have given kitty the impression that this is part of a bigger picture. And if he did, then that is also unprofessional IMO.

It is a very difficult situation, particularly as there seem to be many concerns over this teacher's performance, and I wonder if any of the parents have actually approached the Head and expressed their concerns generally. And what support the Head is providing to the teacher in question. Because however you look at this incident, she needs support.

Unless you actually know what happened, then the debate about whether the teacher was right or not is meaningless. Everyone is just offering opinions based on what they believe to be the cause.

The head should speak to the teacher, take a view and give you his or her opinion.

Kathy, I meant 'confrontation' in its literal sense - not implying any aggression etc.

I still don't think it would have been helpful. It would have been simply 'My son says you did this' against 'I don't recall doing that'.

It needed arbitration imo.

Ah. Actually I have used physical restraint once. On a boy who was throttling (literally) another. I removed is hands from the other boy's throat, and it took some doing.

Now, I don't actually think I did exercise poor professional judgement in that case (so a caveat to what I said above - in some situations etc...), but I was very concerned about possible consequences. All teachers are surely?

Good post TFM

x posts - 2 good posts, tfm!

I am merely trying to explain that I think she has gone about it the wrong way by reporting an account from her ds (who dislikes his teacher) to the Head. I think the correct thing would be for the OP to have spoken to the teacher first and then taken it further if she was not happy.
I am not pro-smacking as accused.
I am anti bullying of anyone, child or teacher, and hate gossip as I know what harm it can cause. This should really not have been discussed with anyone on RL without speaking to the teacher first imo. That is where the OP has gone wrong.
The hysterical use of the words 'violence' and 'bullying' and 'abuse' by certain people are telling too.
The OP herself says that he was not hurt .

You mean you don't think a face-to-face meeting would have been helpful? Will have to beg to differ there then!

(that was to Flight btw)

Ok

Vp not physically no, but he was pretty upset. There doesn't have to be physical damage done in order for there to be misconduct.

I'm not actually saying it's wrong that a teacher should guide a child back into place. I hate the "don't touch children at all costs" attitude.

But given the situation, it was probably unwise.

However, I agree with nkf.
The Head needs to make a judgement about it really.

No, I agree with that, I was merely quoting you.
I actually think it is important that your DS can tell you something like this and see that you take it seriously. I don't agree that he should be punished when he got home to you and re-told his account. I would hope the school had disciplined him if it was necessary and then the parent then re-inforces what has been said, not making any further punishments as I believe warnings should be given before punishment.
But I really really think you should have spoken to the teacher first and not discussed it with anyone else AT ALL until she had given her account. If she merely stated 'I have no recollection', then I would say that it seems odd and I feel I should let the head know......
Not easy I agree but the decent thing to have done IMO.
Of course teachers are not perfect, but they are human.