ok, ds2 claims the teacher pushed him, what can I expect to happen?

[kittywise]

Ds2(8) has a supply teacher covering for a teacher on maternity leave.
The class do not like the supply teacher, but I have said to ds2 that he just has to put up with it etc.
Today he came home and told me she had pushed him on the chest when telling him to sit back down.
Now he can be a naughty boy at times, not awful, just pushing the boundaries like many 8 year old boys, I am under no illusions.
After great questioning and giving him a chance to 'retract ' the statement I phoned the head and told him what ds had told me.
So, now what can I expect to happen?
I wish none of this had happened, either way it's a very tricky situation.

Yes I bet she is very miserable and now has this on top if it all .

Agree completely with Twiglett.

Yeah, I'll do that twig. I really don't want any bad feelings.

I have to say what I picture when you say what happens is your ds leaning forwards kneeling, and the teacher gently placing her hand on him, applying minimal pressure to sit him back down - not shoving or jerking him back, just gently pressuring him into place. Any child would describe this as a push - it is a descriptive word that states that a force was applied, it doesn't indicate the amount of force.

Please tell me you didn't react with horror in front of your ds. If you did then that would simply encourage him to embellish the situation (not lie, but to mis-remember in his favour - adults do this too), as it took the focus off his bad behaviour.

It sounds like it has been blown all out of proportion and your ds has had his bad behaviour reinforced.

Sorry. But that is what it comes across as from what you say - which, in turn, comes from what he says. Of course you're emotive about the issue; he's your child. But re-read what you have written, and understand why so many have said you are over-reacting. I'm not saying the teacher is in the right - I wasn't there - but you should have spoken to her about it first.

oops, crossed posts.

Good idea to speak to her first thing.

Was he kneeling or sitting as he appears to have been doing both according to your account?
and why is it relevant to say "the whole class hate her"? not a good message...

I pushed a child on Tuesday. It was probably the most physical I have ever got in 14 years of teaching. He was a year 7 Polish boy who was being told off in our library at the end of my lesson by the librarians who he had been extremely rude to the day before. As they were explaining to him why he wasn't welcome in the library at break-time, he shrugged at them, swore at them in Polish and tunred away from them. I told him to go back to them at once and he shouted at me. I was standing by the exit dismissing the rest of the class and he tried to push past me so I put my hands on his chest to stop him. He was so angry he pushed me out of the way so I held his shoulders, trying by this time to get eye contact and calm him down as I was afraid he'd hurt himself or someone else. He pushed into me again and I tried to hold him but decided at this point I had probably already gotten too physical and let him go.

Yes, different circumstances from the OP, but it is quite possible that boy went home to his parents and told them his teacher had pushed him - which in fact I did. I'm not happy about the situation but there were plenty of witnesses and I think I was acting fairly responsibly. I am well aware it could get nasty though if the boy decided to take it further. Do my 'reasons' make the situation acceptable? If so, what's wrong with taking the situation described in the OP (scant in detail though it is) and trying to find out more about the circumstances?

I think it's relevant in that she does things that the class dont like.

Apparantly she gets very angry very quickly and shouts a lot. The children are easy as a class I can't understand why she would need to get so angry, and there are strict teachers at the school so the kids are very used to towing the line. ds has never complained about the strictness of other teachers. It just all makes me feel that something is amiss.

She is there to teach the children not to do "things they like".

She is new. She is a supply teacher. Children do test boundaries when faced with change - as I'm sure you know. Teachers often need to be more strict,and compare badly to whoever they have just replaced.

Did ds really like his previous teacher?

"Apparently"

"The class are easy" - how do you know? Have you taught them?

Lots of assumptions being made. Maybe your gut feeling is right and the class aren't having the best time with this teacher and she's not as good as their usual teacher. But it doesn't help your case at all by making these assumptions based on ...well, what, exactly, other than what your ds has told you?

(Moomin, I think you did exactly the right thing BTW - )

I also don't think it helps the teacher if the children think that their parents will run to the head if they complain about their teacher.
Doesn't bode well for a good teacher child relationship

Moomin - reading your post makes me glad I'm not in secondary. Reading this thread makes me glad I'm not a supply teacher.

Kittywise,

What a experience, how sad when you ask for advice on MN you get slattered regardless.

No body should be judging your son and his ability to listen etc to the teacher, the fact is she pushed him and this should not have happened.

Good luck with speaking to the head and try to forget the not so nice comments others have made.
Lets just hope they dont need to post for anything similar.

Actually indamb, the fact is the child SAID she pushed him.

Personally I don't think it's right at all, I don't want anyone shoving my child, no matter how gently. If they can't get their point accross without violence, and yes it is violence even if a lesser one, then they shouldn't be teaching.

I don't smack my children and I certainly woudln't expect a teacher to push my child, I would be livid. I would deal with the problem of my child not listening but that does not warrant a push.

Is that what we teach children these days? That if you don't do what someone asks it's ok to push them? What a great example to set the rest of the class. I can't believe so many people think it's ok.

We are the people our children come to to protect them and look after them, make them feel safe; allowing an adult to push them isn't fulfilling that duty. Imagine how intimidated an 8 year old would be by an adult? It's like a big man pushing a small woman, I'm sure if someone's husband pushed them we'd say it was wrong but a child is ok?

Scotia the child is 8 and not 2, surely his mum knows if he is not telling truth.

Nobody has said it's okay. Most people have said she should have spoken to the teacher first to find out exactly what happened. Then go to the head if still not satisfied.

The point is was he pushed or was he shoved or did something else happen? Was he kneeling as OP says at the beginning or was he sitting as she later claims? There are always two sides to every story and judgements can't be made without knowing the facts.

Judgements seem to be clouded by "the whole class hate her" so she must be bad.

Blimey. I could tell lies at 2 but doubt I will be able to at 8...

One of my chn was 'smacked' by a teacher when he was much younger so I know how it feels.
However I have also come across children claiming that teachers have pushed them when there has been an innocent explanation. It's always a teacher they don't like.

I had a child in my class who was very spoilt and when I wouldn't drop everything to do her bidding, threatened to tell her mum I had hit her. Luckily there were three other adults nearby including a parent helper and the head who overheard her.