ok, ds2 claims the teacher pushed him, what can I expect to happen?

[kittywise]

Ds2(8) has a supply teacher covering for a teacher on maternity leave.
The class do not like the supply teacher, but I have said to ds2 that he just has to put up with it etc.
Today he came home and told me she had pushed him on the chest when telling him to sit back down.
Now he can be a naughty boy at times, not awful, just pushing the boundaries like many 8 year old boys, I am under no illusions.
After great questioning and giving him a chance to 'retract ' the statement I phoned the head and told him what ds had told me.
So, now what can I expect to happen?
I wish none of this had happened, either way it's a very tricky situation.

What do you mean 'physical restraint'? We're hardly talking pin down are we? It sounds like she's having a really hard time, with an angelic class (not) whose parents believe they can do no wrong, or if they do it's not their fault. I'm glad the OP and her DS aren't in our school

Who is keeping a log of complaints about this teacher? The Head or the parents? This is just an awful situation.

I really don't think you have handled this well Kitty. Sorry. I think your son knows how to "push your buttons" and has done so.

He should have sat down when he was told to, that's what I'd have said to him! Obviously he's put a spin on things that makes him sound angelic - that's what children do. It surprises me, if you have teaching experience, that you can't see that as a possibility.

So you have not actually spoken to the teacher to hear her version of events because she would be on the defensive?

Good grief - no wonder you DS feels he can go running to you without impunity even when he is has done wrong!

I have spoken to the head today he was very nice. I was a pains to tell him that i wasn't out to cause trouble but that I felt he needed to be told about this. He was in absolute agreement and said that I should always come to him if something like this has happened .
He said for all I know I could be the fifth person that this has happened to.

He also told ds that if anything like this happens again, whether pushing, pulling, 'rough' handling then he must come to him straight away.

The teacher was asked about it and said she had no 'recollection' of it .

Yes my son knows how to push buttons, but having known him since his birth I am quite used to him, I know how he operates , I also know when he's trying to pull a fast one. This time he wasn't. Call it mother's instinct.

Cornsilk, the head is keeping log.

IMO pushing a child is a vile thing to do.

I also know from the general ethos of the school that pushing from a teacher would be considered unacceptable. It is not how the school disciplines.

I think it's lunacy to say that I should have told ds that he should have been doing as he was told because that's as good as saying "you had it coming"

He was in the wrong so was she. She's the adult.

Sounds like an utter management failure to me. You've got a teacher so poor that it's common knowledge among parents that the Head is keeping a log of her indiscretions, accepts that the teacher has been "rough handling" children and asks for further instances to be brought to his attention, yet she remains in post?

Something is wrong here.

Perhaps your initial questioning of your DS has resulted in his feeling unable to retract what might have been an exaggerated account.."Pushing" is a very vague term, could cover a wide spectrum of incidents, some of which might (I think) be understandable and acceptable. I don't think "pushing" a child is necessarily always a "vile" thing to do.

Haven't read all the thread, just the first couple of pages...

I am a teacher and my son (4) is now at school. If he were upset I would hope that his teacher or adults in his class would give him a cuddle. I don't want the adult to be so afraid to comfort my son if he needs it.

As to the 'push' the head needs to ask your son some qusetions and those who were around him to assertain what went on. Heads are good at this and can/should do this without asking leading questions. I agree your son shouldn't have been 'pushed' if he was, but I also agree that you should have some anger towards him in asking him why he didn't sit down when asked.

Also, something you mentioned in your post about the class not liking the supply teacher...why? What is it that your son doesn't like? Could he be prejudiced?

ooops forget that as I've just ready the last few. Sounds like a dodgy teacher
sorry

Kittywise .. I am stunned that you profess to being a teacher and yet condone and take part in the bullying attitude of parents gossiping together in the playground .. with every gossip you fuel the fire. And yet you still attempt to take the highground on this thread?

a 'dream class' that has all the gossiping parent's children in it doesn't sound very much like a 'dream class' to me?

I wasn't there .. but from all you've said I think you're making a crisis out of bugger all and it sounds very much like your child was misbehaving and being rather brattish .. as is the way of 8 year old children at times.

Kitty, now that you've logged the issue with the Head, have you spoken to your son about his behaviour?

Bloody hell.

I can't quite believe what I have just read on this thread.

Kittywise I want to say how well you have been handling this barrage of ridiculous assumptions and dismissive comments directed at you.

From the general 'teachers are to be obeyed at whatever cost' to the condemnation of your child as 'spoilt' and dishonest, 'pushing your buttons' etc etc

Need I go on

Fucking ridiculous

I am completely with you on this.

Sorry you had to endure this response - has everyone gone mad?

So the Head has informed paremts that he is keeping a log about incidents regarding a teacher he is employing and is inviting them to contribute to it. This sounds incredibly bizarre.

No, it doesn't. what would you expect him to do if there are complaints?

He is obliged to log them.

Then why is the supply teacher still in her post? Yes he is obliged to log complaints about any teacher but to openly invite parents to make complaints about a particular teacher is strange.

I don't read it as inviting, merely suggesting that if they have complaints he must be informed and will log them.

I imagine they have yet to receive any that are actually 'actable on' and are in a difficult position - they don't want to condemn her out of hand without enough evidence, obviously.

it's just more playground gossip if you ask me

no head worth his or her salt would dream of letting parents know there's any such log of complaints

that's just bad practice

Agree Twig - it sounds more like a vendetta against the woman.

" By Flight on Thu 13-Mar-08 17:26:23
No, it doesn't. what would you expect him to do if there are complaints?

He is obliged to log them. "

But he is breaching confidentially by passing this information on to parents if it is true.

My friend once taught in a school where they called a certain group of parents "The playground Mafia" I wonder if it is the same one.

Our school definitely has a playground mafia. Can be very damaging - an NQT teaching year 3s was seriously undermined by a group of parents who decided they didnt like her, and started a very unpleasant vendetta. The whole thing was ghastly and of course made the poor teacher's position fairly untenable.

The aspect of this that I find slightly strange is that the OP was going to speak to the teacher herself, but then

"having discussed it with a couple of people they thought it was best that it was 'left'. Their opinion was that if I approached her she would immediately be on the defensive and it would make matters worse".

Sounds like decision by committee (or possibly mafia)..

Thankyou flight

Yes there have been some nasty things said about me and my son on this thread.
How pathetic that you are nasty about a little boy.
I listened to your comments before you started using words like brattish.

Many of you are very of order and should feel ashamed at yourselves for attacking my child. a little boy who is naughty at times, like all little boys, but loving and sensitive and kind.

I hope that your children are never in such a position.

Why on earth are you blaming my child?
He was pushed by a teacher. He was the one who has had something done to him that shouldn't have been done.
It is utterly astonishing that not only do you CONDONE her awful behaviour but that you think my son deserved it and should be admonished even further by me as if being pushed in the chest by a grown up wasn't enough.
Perhaps next time she should cane him and then I can slap him around when he gets home.
Actually a simple telling off will suffice.
You might think it's ok for your children to be pushed around but I don't.

You've pissed me off.

I reckon there must be a full moon, that would explain the collective lunacy here.

I guess you are all pro smackers as well, you'd have to be to be ok with her behaviour. It's a sad world indeed.

minesalemon, don't jump yo ridiculous conclusions
The two people I spoke to do not know each other and are not parents of children in that class.

I think people are blaming YOU and your attitude actually and not your child, who is an 8 year old.