2 days off for a wedding

[lollipoprainbow]

We have a family wedding in May in Wales and I have requested my dd9 is away from school on the Friday and the Monday. It has been refused ! What do I do now. It's non negotiable to be honest and she won't be at school those two days. I like the headteacher and don't want to fall out with her.

The rules for what headteachers are able to authorise are really strict. I think they'd only allow time off if the wedding was a parent. Technically you could travel after school Friday and back Sunday so you can see why school cannot authorise it.

Having said that whilst on paper they won't do it I bet any teacher would say go, have a lovely time!

You won't be fined you only get fined if it's more than 4.5 days

Just go and have a wonderful time, you won't be fined as it's under 5 days. Ignore the posters saying come home on the Sunday , you do what suits your family best.

We have a wedding next week (Sunday) abroad my brother in laws. DD will be a flower girl. (Covid test permitting I'm nervous 😬 )We are flying back Monday late evening. So DD will probably be off school Monday and Tuesday. That has been refused aswell OP. I am just going to send a reminder email/possibly a phone call Monday morning to remind them.

I'm afraid I'm another who would not take that amount of time off for a wedding, even if I had to pay for a nights accommodation I didn;t use.

I would travel up on the Friday night and travel back on the Sunday.

Just go and have a lovely time. The head’s hands are tied which is why she refused time off but you’re not going to be fined and at age 9 your DD doesn’t have important exams this year.

It’s not worth getting in a froth about. The head has no option but to say no. They can only say yes in exceptional circumstances. She’s not forcing you to send your kid that day, she knows she will be away and honestly, she probably doesn’t mind either way. If attendance is good then it’s no biggie. No need to challenge it, just crack on.

@Comefromaway

I'm afraid I'm another who would not take that amount of time off for a wedding, even if I had to pay for a nights accommodation I didn;t use.

I would travel up on the Friday night and travel back on the Sunday.

But why. What do you actually think will happen?

But why. What do you actually think will happen?

Probably nothing. I wouldn't have been fussed about fines anyway, I can afford them. But I don't like my children to miss school, it disrupts the and it disrupts the class. A family wedding on a Saturday would not be good enough reason for me.

I recently asked the deputy head at my daughters school about a similar situation and she said fill the form in, I will say no and then you just go anyway, fair enough! It's been authorised though which surprised me! It is only for a day though, maybe that's why

The rules for what headteachers are able to authorise are really strict

No, they aren't. Many heads seem to like to give that impression, presumably because it takes some of the pressure off them when they say no, but there are no rules. It is entirely up to the head to decide whether a particular request for a day off qualifies as "exceptional circumstances". However, most would not agree to time off for a wedding unless it was the child's parent(s) getting married.

You won't be fined you only get fined if it's more than 4.5 days

You can't say that definitively. It depends on the LA. Some will only fine after a single extended absence or a series of shorter absences, but there is at least one LA that fines for any absence.

Yes, it will be refused. But just go and take the unauthorised absence....

Travel home sun night

Clearly you're going to take the Friday and Monday off, so just do it.

but if you did want to avoid taking your daughter out of school strictly you can leave as soon as she's registered on Friday afternoon - that will mean she counts as present.

Ex teacher here - who are all these people flapping about a kid missing two days of school?! Get a life 😂 It’s two days. My kids missed far more than that poorly so far this year (& waiting for bloody PCR tests to come back). We are going to Centre Parcs in term time in March, missing Friday & Monday and she’s also missing a couple days in Spring Bank as we have a Thursday wedding on the south coast (we are in Yorkshire). I’ve not even asked for permission, I’ve just emailed & said she’ll be absent on these days & we accept there could be a fine. School emailed back & said OK, it’ll be unauthorised but we hope you have a lovely time. I really love our headteacher, he’s so nice. We will do some home ed stuff with her, we get lots of games & activities on Seesaw each week & I’ve still got access to Twinkle to get some worksheets.

Have a great time OP!

I’m sorry @Comefromaway - how does a child having a couple days absence disrupt their class? I taught for years and kids are off ill pretty regularly. It might disrupt the absent kid a little bit (but the vast majority very quickly catch back up.. bit of a pain for the teacher but a few days really is nothing in the grand scheme of a 12+ year education) but it in no way disrupts the class as a whole. They notice Johnny & Jane are off today and then crack on with the day 🤷🏼‍♀️

In real life, most jobs allow you take annual leave when you need too for events such as weddings & holidays, so you can’t even say it’s a life lesson. School with its set holidays is nothing like the working world unless you become a teacher. That’s one of the reasons I left, there is just no flexibility. Now, I get less holiday but it is far more meaningful holiday to me. It’s anytime, for any occasion & I can go away with my husband when it doesn’t cost £1million pounds.

There’s a balance to be found. A few days is fine. Persistent absence is not.

My DDs headteacher would say on record "I can't authorise" but would likely tell the child to have a great time

Just go! As you have completed the absence request form the school will know where you are on those days, she isn't absence because you just couldn't be bothered to get her to school. It will be marked as 'holiday unauthorised.'