Page 5 | 2 days off for a wedding

lollipoprainbow · 2022-02-10T22:26:30+00:00

We have a family wedding in May in Wales and I have requested my dd9 is away from school on the Friday and the Monday. It has been refused ! What do I do now. It's non negotiable to be honest and she won't be at school those two days. I like the headteacher and don't want to fall out with her.

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Pamlar · 11/02/2022 08:25

Just go. Sometimes life events are more important than stupid rules. If she's utterly exhausted from it all she'll have a lousy day in school anyway.

NewModelArmyMayhem18 · 11/02/2022 08:26

I think you'll find HTs are much more amenable to authorising such things if you really show your willingness to work with them to find a solution that minimises disruption to your DC's learning and to school attendance records!

Sally872 · 11/02/2022 08:27

Go and enjoy the wedding. The head teacher may be unable to authorise the absence that doesn't mean they don't understand and I expect she has many more people on her list of difficult parents, this is not something she will fall out with you for.

For a primary aged child with good attendance I would not hesitate to take them out for a family wedding. Make the most of it and have a good catch up with family. Don't give school another thought.

An email day before to inform them child won't be in is fine.

Sirzy · 11/02/2022 08:27

That’s because your options are simple.

You go and accept its unauthorised.

You go but cut it shorter - but still there for the whole wedding - and don’t miss school.

Original poster

lollipoprainbow · 11/02/2022 08:27

@bonetiredwithtwins no we couldn't get a nearby travel lodge the wedding is in snowdonia. But thanks for your helpful comment.

OP posts:

MajorCarolDanvers · 11/02/2022 08:27

You just go and it gets marked as unauthorised.

Don't lose any sleep over it.

Original poster

lollipoprainbow · 11/02/2022 08:28

@NewModelArmyMayhem18 I'm not missing a wedding just for the sake of 2 school days jees !!

OP posts:

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 11/02/2022 08:38

@Wolfiefan

Depending how far I wouldn’t take four days for a wedding. It’s a one day event. Drive there Friday after school. Back some time Sunday?

Depending on where outside Wales and where in Wales, it could easily take many hours to drive there - in the Friday night rush hour. If the OP lived just an hour or two’s drive away, I doubt she’d be asking for the Friday off.

FloBot7 · 11/02/2022 08:40

I don't think we're being harsh by pointing out that going away for three nights is a choice. If you really cared about the rules, you could shorten your stay and just not use the accommodation for the whole time you've booked. I still agree that the rules are harsh and stupid. The head teacher probably agrees too. If I were in your shoes I'd enjoy the full 3 nights. But you're acting as if there's no choice other than for your daughter to miss three days of school when really, it's a preference. An understandable preference but a preference all the same.

FloBot7 · 11/02/2022 08:41

Apologies that should say 2 days of school!

Bitezbabe · 11/02/2022 08:41

Just go ahead with your plans and enjoy the wedding and time with your family. Two days of missed school is not going to impact on your daughters education. Time spent with family is precious and we have missed so many family occasions over the last couple of years. Go and make happy memories. Enjoy.

harriethoyle · 11/02/2022 08:43

YABU not to travel til the Monday when the wedding is on the Saturday.

Mumdiva99 · 11/02/2022 08:49

@lollipoprainbow leave the thread now. Please don't keep reading the comments. Once again I say enjoy the wedding. It sounds like you need a positive family event.

WTF475878237NC · 11/02/2022 08:49

Really odd. Yes you paid for Sunday night but I'd still drive home late Sunday.

LuckySantangelo35 · 11/02/2022 08:49

All this ‘just travel back the day after the wedding’ maybe OP wants to have a few drinks on the day/evening of the wedding, properly let her hair and stay up late, drinking and dancing etc (as people oft do at weddings) without having to worry about getting up early and organised and a long drive home. Is that so incomprehensible?

Sirzy · 11/02/2022 08:52

@LuckySantangelo35

All this ‘just travel back the day after the wedding’ maybe OP wants to have a few drinks on the day/evening of the wedding, properly let her hair and stay up late, drinking and dancing etc (as people oft do at weddings) without having to worry about getting up early and organised and a long drive home. Is that so incomprehensible?

Which is fine. But she then has to accept the fact that the absence from school will be unauthorised.

It’s a pretty clear decision that only she can make but it’s not the head teachers fault

Inspectorslack · 11/02/2022 08:52

She could get up at lunchtime? If she’s taking kids with her she shouldn’t be writ off anyway.

PurpleDaisies · 11/02/2022 08:53

Everyone has said to go and enjoy the wedding @Mumdiva99. Everyone.

Some of us were confused about why it was essential to miss all of Friday and Monday. It turns out it isn’t essential but it’s a choice the op is making. That’s also fine.

It doesn’t seem to be ok to say that the op is choosing to take her out of school for two days rather than being forced to by circumstances outside the op’s control. I don’t understand that.

It’s fine to choose to miss those school days. It’s fine for the headteacher not to authorise it. No need for any more drama. The op just needs to email the school with the dates so her daughter can be marked absent on the register.

twinmum2007 · 11/02/2022 08:53

Just because you have taken the accommodation for a minimum of 3 nights, doesn't mean you have to stay for the third night. OK so you've paid for it, but no-one will be locking you in until Monday morning surely. Personally, I would just swallow the third night's cost and drive back on the Sunday.

MazzleDazzle · 11/02/2022 08:55

I work in a school and in my experience pupils are only allowed to give permission for absence in circumstances such as a medical appointment or a funeral. Anything else goes down as unauthorised absence. It’s not our choice, it’s what we’re told to do.

Most parents just write a note explaining that their child will be off because of a wedding, we log it as unauthorised absence and that’s the end of it.

PurpleDaisies · 11/02/2022 08:55

@LuckySantangelo35

All this ‘just travel back the day after the wedding’ maybe OP wants to have a few drinks on the day/evening of the wedding, properly let her hair and stay up late, drinking and dancing etc (as people oft do at weddings) without having to worry about getting up early and organised and a long drive home. Is that so incomprehensible?

It isn’t a choice most people who work would be able to make. They’d be back for 9am Monday morning. Plenty of people still have a wild time on Saturday night and turn up at the office on Monday.

Again, there is nothing wrong with choosing to take the extra days but it’s a choice not a necessity.

LuckySantangelo35 · 11/02/2022 08:55

@Sirzy True.

OP, @lollipoprainbow just accept the absence will be unauthorised and go and enjoy! 🥂

worriedatthemoment · 11/02/2022 08:56

I can't understand why your gobsmacked as heads can not authorise things like this now and even less so as realistically you could travel friday after school and drive home sunday ( you may have to pay the night they don't care if you actually stay)
I don't blame you for wanting to go 4 days though and if mine I would just take them
The worst case is you get a fine ( very unlikely ) most likely just have 2 unauthorised days marked on report etc which whoever sees
No point appealing they can back track

Clymene · 11/02/2022 08:58

Absolutely take her out of school. But of course it can't be authorised.

worriedatthemoment · 11/02/2022 09:00

** can't backtrack
As others have said go and enjoy and don't worry about it
I took mine abroad and meant missing 2 days off as was £1500 cheaper , that was difference of having a holiday or not, they were marked as unauthorised ( although out head also said have a nice time)
I didn't care if we even got a fine as still cheaper and it was 2 days