Page 6 | 2 days off for a wedding

lollipoprainbow · 2022-02-10T22:26:30+00:00

We have a family wedding in May in Wales and I have requested my dd9 is away from school on the Friday and the Monday. It has been refused ! What do I do now. It's non negotiable to be honest and she won't be at school those two days. I like the headteacher and don't want to fall out with her.

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worriedatthemoment · 11/02/2022 09:04

@Mumdiva99 most people are not being harsh just being honest that school cannot authorise it and its not personal just the rules
Also pointing out that 2 days don't have to be taken which would be how school could view , but take them anyway and just go and enjoy and not worry about it
Also advising not to appeal as that won't get them anywhere

Howshouldibehave · 11/02/2022 09:06

why can't we come back Sunday etc

It’s a perfectly valid question and one that the head teacher is probably also thinking.

But you're acting as if there's no choice other than for your daughter to miss three days of school when really, it's a preference

This is the crux of it though. You want 3 days away-own it as a holiday. Staying Sunday night is entirely your choice-it is not essential, or non-negotiable. It’s not ‘out of your hands’, or the holiday owners fault-it’s your choice.

It’s interesting that you’ve heard of parents being fined for absences, but don’t seem to have heard of the fact that heads can’t authorise time off for holidays/weddings.

Go to the wedding and get the unauthorised marks in the register and pay the fines, but accept that it’s your decision to do so.

Snowywintersundays123 · 11/02/2022 09:09

We are taking Ds out of school for a holiday next month, full expect it won’t get authorised. Doesn’t mean we won’t go… I’ll just pay the fine. Still cheaper than going during the holidays.
Schools have v little discretion these days however You won’t get fined as it’s only if over 5 days. You’ve told them she’s going away. They will be aware. Nothing else needs doing.

Derbee · 11/02/2022 09:16

You’ve made a choice to stay away for a few days for a one day event. Of course it can’t be authorised by the head, whether you like eachother or not. No point appealing or telling the head you’re doing it anyway, when it’s not been authorised.

I don’t understand all the prickly arguing. Your daughter will be out of school for 2 days and you’ll probably be fined. Just pay the fine. Enjoy the wedding, and accept the fine as an extra cost.

MrsSkylerWhite · 11/02/2022 09:17

Can’t you travel back on Sunday?

gogohm · 11/02/2022 09:18

Yabu, you can travel at lunchtime on Friday and return on Sunday. If you request picking her up at 12.30pm on the Friday they would have been understanding, 2 full days off is not essential

Ducksurprise · 11/02/2022 09:19

Honestly ignore these miseries, just tell them she will be away. The HT isn't allowed to authorise it, doesn't mean she doest agree with you going. Honestly so much angst over primary school pupils missing a few days, the government have brainwashed us all into thinking a few days at primary will make all the difference.

PurpleDaisies · 11/02/2022 09:21

@Ducksurprise

Honestly ignore these miseries, just tell them she will be away. The HT isn't allowed to authorise it, doesn't mean she doest agree with you going. Honestly so much angst over primary school pupils missing a few days, the government have brainwashed us all into thinking a few days at primary will make all the difference.

The “miseries” are telling the op to do the same as you are. Take the time off and don’t worry about it.

Clymene · 11/02/2022 09:22

@Derbee

You’ve made a choice to stay away for a few days for a one day event. Of course it can’t be authorised by the head, whether you like eachother or not. No point appealing or telling the head you’re doing it anyway, when it’s not been authorised.

I don’t understand all the prickly arguing. Your daughter will be out of school for 2 days and you’ll probably be fined. Just pay the fine. Enjoy the wedding, and accept the fine as an extra cost.

She won't be fined. It's usually 5 days for a fine

Sockpile · 11/02/2022 09:24

I took DS on a term time holiday as due to exceptional circumstances at my DDs school they had an extra holiday. The head and teacher told me they couldn’t authorise it but ‘have a lovely time’. There were a few others in the same situation, all unauthorised and but fines issued.

gogohm · 11/02/2022 09:24

If you want/need to go just go, but it won't be authorised, you may get fined (but unlikely, we weren't however the wedding was in Germany on a Friday hence 2 days off school - we went Thursday to Sunday). The head can't state the Monday is exceptional circumstances

Sockpile · 11/02/2022 09:25

Meant ‘but no fines issued’

Wexone · 11/02/2022 09:27

Oh my word cant believe what everyone is saying, if i was in your shoes i would go Friday and come back Monday. Its a family wedding the wedding is Saturday, if it was me i would be driving Friday morning to allow myself good time to get there, not stressed or tired by time i get there, have time in the eve to catch up with people or have a nice dinner and relax. Enjoy wedding Saturday, on Sunday then have a nice lie in and breakfast knowing that i don't have to load the car back up and drive all the way back home that day . Catch up with Friends and Family Sunday or do my own thing. Then load up Monday for a nice easy drive home, be home in by early eve and relax to prepare for Tuesday. Your probably like the most of us OP, this is your 1st big family do since Covid and 1st time seeing alot of people so make the most of it and enjoy your planned days. Just tell the head that your kids wont be in them days.

Ducksurprise · 11/02/2022 09:27

Well purple I wasn't talking about you obviously, but look at the post above mine. I'd waded through posts saying travel up Fri night and down sun morning etc I mean what a lot of crap.

Ducksurprise · 11/02/2022 09:28

@gogohm

If you want/need to go just go, but it won't be authorised, you may get fined (but unlikely, we weren't however the wedding was in Germany on a Friday hence 2 days off school - we went Thursday to Sunday). The head can't state the Monday is exceptional circumstances

And this is bollocks. You need 10 registrations to trigger a fine, so five days.

Pembertonrd · 11/02/2022 09:30

Go.
Have a great time.
Don't think about school.

JustGettingReady · 11/02/2022 09:30

It will be fine OP, I did this and I was not fined.

I requested 5 days as the wedding was in Thailand (the actual wedding day itself was a weekday so I'm not sure if that made a difference?). We were going for 2 weeks and only 1 of these was the half term.

School authorised 3 days and declined 2 of the 5 days.
The 2 declined just went down as unauthorised.
They said their policy was to give 3 days for weddings; a day of travel there, the day of the wedding itself and a day for travel back.

I too like you worried about any repercussions, the school were lovely about it and said that they only became concerned when their students hit a higher level of absences (I think it was a figure around 10% of the academic year?) so for 2 days it was fine (assuming sickness didn't take us close to the figure for the rest of the year).

We went, enjoyed the wedding and my son went back to school telling all the teachers what an amazing time he had. They loved hearing about his adventure to be a 'ring bearer' for his uncle.

Enjoy the special time at the wedding and don't worry

ambushedbywine · 11/02/2022 09:33

When it was my role to respond to these kind of requests I always wrote something like

“ Dear Mrs Smith,
Thank you for your letter.

I’m not in a position to authorise this absence due to government guidance, therefore this absence will be recorded as unauthorised.

Hope you have a lovely time at the wedding!”

mumda · 11/02/2022 09:47

Paying for Sunday night and not staying sounds extravagant but it's not really. It means you leave at the time you want during the day rather than rushing for an early checkout.

MaggieFS · 11/02/2022 09:52

@Tippexy

OP: AIBU? MN: Yes! OP: No I’m not, you’re all meanies!

Lol at the idea that the can’t come home on Sunday just because they’ve got accommodation on the Sunday night.

Exactly!!

Original poster

lollipoprainbow · 11/02/2022 09:55

I love you @Ducksurprise !!

I popped into the office this morning and the lovely office manager asked if I had received my letter I told her yes and it had been refused but I was taking her out of school anyway, she completely understood and told me to have a lovely time! I don't need to do anything else.

Thanks to all the lovely posters who wished me well etc and to all the miseries have a nice day

OP posts:

NerrSnerr · 11/02/2022 09:58

People were not being miseries. You asked what do you do now so you were given options.

You were given options to avoid unauthorised absence as you seemed pretty upset that it wasn't authorised.

If you want to go for the full 4 days then own it and say you're going to go for the whole time because that's what you want. Not because you must go for 4 days because the accommodation won't let you leave before Monday.

AngelinaFibres · 11/02/2022 10:04

[quote lollipoprainbow]@Wolfiefan the wedding is Saturday, we need to travel to Wales on the Friday and travel back on the Monday. [/quote]
Travel straight after school on the Friday. Travel back late Sunday afternoon. No need to take time off

AliceMcK · 11/02/2022 10:15

Just go, it will be marked as unauthorised but that really dosnt mean anything unless she takes a lot of unauthorised leave. You can’t be fined. My DDs last school had a blanket rule that unless it’s actually an exception, example a close relative died, then all leave us refused. They do it because otherwise parents start complaining that someone else’s request has been accepted but theirs hasn’t so it’s just easier to say no to everything.

WarmWinterSun · 11/02/2022 10:21

Sorry OP but I think you are being unreasonable unless flights are required. You can travel after school on the Friday and that is enough time to travel to any part of the country by car. You can return on Sunday.