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Original poster

2 days off for a wedding

167 replies

lollipoprainbow · 10/02/2022 22:26

We have a family wedding in May in Wales and I have requested my dd9 is away from school on the Friday and the Monday. It has been refused ! What do I do now. It's non negotiable to be honest and she won't be at school those two days. I like the headteacher and don't want to fall out with her.

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Stevenage689 · 11/02/2022 06:13

No need to inform the school. Call on the morning if you are keeping her off. They can't do anything but it will be unauthorised

Postbox123 · 11/02/2022 06:26

Take her out of school after lunch on the Friday, she will have already got her marks for the day.
Travel back Monday morning, drop her in school. She’ll get a late mark but not absent.
Or, as everyone else has said, two days unauthorised, nothing bad will happen!

JudgeRindersMinder · 11/02/2022 06:36

You TELL school she’ll be off. I don’t get the angst (I also don’t get why you don’t travel back Sunday but that’s a different issue)

Forestdweller11 · 11/02/2022 06:45

Just take the two days off. Let the head know closer to the date.

Or as per pp travel later on the Friday and earlier on the Monday.

Gardeningcreature · 11/02/2022 06:48

Of course the Head teacher can't authorise the absense, the government won't allow it.
I'm also confused as to why she has to be off on Monday.

Mumdiva99 · 11/02/2022 06:51

Please don't stress. Just send a reminder in closer to the time. Enjoy the wedding. (The fact you a) don't know the process and b) are worried means your daughter doesn't have lots of time off for the wrong things and that you are a conscientious parent. If you drop her at school you could just check with the office as at my child's school they would have already noted the absence when requested.)

Peppermint81 · 11/02/2022 06:56

Why can't you travel back on the Sunday??

2 days off school seems excessive. You don't actually have to go to a wedding...no wonder head refused

MakeUsACuppa · 11/02/2022 06:57

I never asked just stated mine wouldn't be at school on whatever day.

I also made mine do a diary about the holiday/event we were at. Just for us and they're lovely to look back on and I felt that at least they were doing some writing practice Grin

Original poster
lollipoprainbow · 11/02/2022 07:01

@Mumdiva99 thank you! No I've only ever asked for my daughter to be absent twice once for her grandpas funeral and a Friday and Monday when we all went away for an early Christmas break as my sister had just been given weeks to live. It's her son that's getting married so it's non negotiable that my daughter attends and misses school for a couple of days.

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RedderThanBlood · 11/02/2022 07:02

A couple of days absence for a family wedding, which could be a lovely experience for kids is fine. Lots of family, cousins etc they might not often see.
Notify the school your children will be absent and enjoy life.

Original poster
lollipoprainbow · 11/02/2022 07:04

2 days off school seems excessive. You don't actually have to go to a wedding...no wonder head refused

Yes how very unreasonable of me to want to attend the wedding of my late sisters son !! It's not like I'm asking to take her off school for a week to go to Barbados ffs !!

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Original poster
lollipoprainbow · 11/02/2022 07:05

@RedderThanBlood my thoughts entirely, she will be seeing cousins etc they she hasn't seen for ages.

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Original poster
lollipoprainbow · 11/02/2022 07:06

I guess my question is should I go back the head and appeal or just email her and say I was disappointed to be refused and she won't be attending on those two days ?

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YessicaHaircut · 11/02/2022 07:07

Aa pp have said, you can still take her and it will be marked as unauthorised absence. You’re unlikely to be fined as I believe she would have to be off for 5 consecutive days to attract a fine. But please do let the school know that she won’t be in, otherwise they will have to contact you on the day for a reason for her absence.

hupfpferd · 11/02/2022 07:07

I don't think anyone thinks it's unreasonable to go to the wedding. People think it's potentially unreasonable to make it a 4 day trip!

You could definitely do it in 2 or 3 days. You are making it into a holiday.

Ikeameatballs · 11/02/2022 07:09

@lollipoprainbow

I guess my question is should I go back the head and appeal or just email her and say I was disappointed to be refused and she won't be attending on those two days ?
Yes, just go back and say that your daughter won’t be attending on those days.

It’s really not a big deal.

Go to the wedding and enjoy it.

RG2468 · 11/02/2022 07:12

Just send them an email saying she won’t be there and why. They can’t authorise absence for a wedding. The HT will be understanding. If it’s your intention anyway to go for the 4 days then don’t feel bad just do it. And so very sorry for your loss.

gindreams · 11/02/2022 07:12

There are some nasty people on here

Take the two days and enjoy the wedding properly

Original poster
lollipoprainbow · 11/02/2022 07:14

@RG2468 @gindreams thank you Thanks

OP posts:
Pinkflipflop85 · 11/02/2022 07:15

There is nothing to appeal. You just go regardless.

SweetPotatoDumpling · 11/02/2022 07:16

I'm a primary teacher..just go 🥰

Honestly, we are human too, and love to hear our children talk about their experiences outside of the classroom...this sounds like a wonderful family time. She won't miss too much and will soon catch up anyway!

The head will be tied with her response, based on either the LEAs stance or the academy if they are part of one. My school recently joined an academy and we now have to refuse all requests...but we know parents will take their children anyway, and now we have little ones trying desperately to lie about why they were off for a week and tanned...it's sad!

We would much rather you told us, so that the children can enjoy chatting to us about their experiences...and nothing will happen for 2 days off, except an unauthorised mark in the register (which honestly means nothing 🤷‍♀️)

Enjoy the wedding.

MrsJaxTellerPlease · 11/02/2022 07:17

They aren't allowed to authorise that. Just like they didn't authorise my daughter being taken away for a week on holiday. You just tell them they will be absent anyway. You don't get fined for missing four sessions so just crack on.

User0610134049 · 11/02/2022 07:18

Headteacher is not allowed to authorise it.
As an aside I also don’t see why you can’t arrive back Sunday afternoon/evening….

NerrSnerr · 11/02/2022 07:19

They can't authorise it. It's up to you whether you go or not. How many hours away is it that you can't travel back on Sunday night?

User0610134049 · 11/02/2022 07:20

And I agree don’t write a rambling email appealing or whatever.
Just say you understand it can’t be authorised and dc will be absent on these dates